Well, first a little back ground. Everything here is going to be about my mom's side of the family. My grandpa and grandmother got divorced back in 87 and now my grandma lives in Regina near my parents and my grandpa lives in Ontario with his wife, Lynn. My mom's brother, Doug, and his family live in Houston Texas. He has one son who is my age and a set of male twins, Jeff and Scott. Both 19.
For the last week or so I have been in Ontario visiting my grandfather. It was a decent trip and I was going home on Monday. Well on Sunday as we (my mom, grandpa, Lynn and I) were eating at a very nice restaurant. As we were finishing off desert the server came up to us and told us there was an emergency phone call. My grandpa took the call. My cousin Jeff had died. It was a head on car accident. My mom broke down into pieces. We had to take her to the bathroom to calm down. My grandfather was stoic and Lynn was worried about his soul. I still dont really feel anything, I never really knew him that well. It has been 8-10 years since i saw him. Due to my time in the states and other things I have not been able to get to the family holidays. At any rate we had to spread the news to the rest of the family. My grandma in regina is crushed. My sister could not talk, she is in shock. My uncle, well he is barely holding on. It is horrible. it is as if an atom bomb just went off in our family. Everyone is headding to Houston now. My mom and I flew back to our homes yesterday as planned. My dad mom grandma and little sister are flying as I type, my grandpa and Lynn are already there (they got a very early flight today). My older sister is flying down from New Hampshire where she just finished off with Barak. I cant get down there. The tickets from Canada at this kind of notice are $2000. I dont have that kind of money. I cant ask my dad to pay. I am moved and saddened by the ordeal, but not because I knew Jeff, but because I know my family. I am upset for my family... for all thoes that loose a loved one to an untimely event. I want to be there, but I dont know if I have a place there right now for such a cost. I just got off a trip for which my dad payed, and I took time off work. I go back to work tomorrow.

This is so completely surreal.... Just.... unimaginable...

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl.....n/6105673.html

Anyone out there going on the furry cruise at the end of november. Alexi, my friend got cancelled on by his travel partner and will now be going to visit florida on his own. If any of you are going to be going on the cruise or will be in florida at the end of Nov please let me know. I dont want him to have to be alone on a cruise or at Universal Studios.

Thanks *big hugs*

Something freaky happened today. Everyone thinks that the terrible things that happen in the news and every where else will never happen to anyone you know, to anything you hold dear. I absolutely loved my high-school and all the experiences I had there. I remember it fondly. I had the best teachers ever. Well today I had a wonderful shock. I got a text from my friend back in Regina (where I attended high school, more specifically Luther College High School) telling me that a shooting was going on at my high school. My heart completely sank. What the frick do you do when you hear that. I prodded for more information and eventually recieved it like a couple hours later. Apparently my old english teacher, who is now the principle, expelled a student last year. This said student came back to the school today during chapel, where the whole school gathers in the gym, and held everyone hostage. He pointed his weapon, a gun (which later turned out to be a pellet gun), at the principle and forced a 4 page statement of his to be read. The SWAT team arrived and surrounded the school. I dont know exactly how it was eventually resolved but after 45 minutes the police had managed to apprehend the individual. It took hours for all of this information to make its way out. I dont know what I felt. Shocked to say the least. I thought that one of my favourite teachers ever was almost killed by a student. It is a seriously freaky feeling. It makes you take a second thought at everything, and all your reactions.........

The Leader Post newspaper article on what happened
http://www.canada.com/reginaleaderp.....a-a05819f79707

Well, I dont know how many of you out there know this but right now Canada is undergoing a national election! That is right, and election! Called only a couple weeks ago and it will be done and settled a month before the American one. Voting day is October the 14th! So who will I be voting for? Well, I am not sure yet. I know I will definately be following my ABCs, the Anything But the Conservatives! Last time I voted NDP. But I was part of the Saskatchewan riding where the representative was Canada's National treasurer, well adored and liked, part of the liberal party. I think my vote last time was more of a statement. I wanted the pot to be stirred, the crap to be scraped off the bottom of the pot. This time it is more serious. The Conservatives could gain a majority government. I dont want that. If they have managed to make this much a mess of things with a minority government I dont want to know what they will do witll full power. We shall see... I will probably let you know my decision when I make one.

Ciao!!!

Yay OBAMA!!! you can rickroll McCain!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TiQCJXpbKg

Well, I dont know how many of you know this but a few months ago Canada altered the laws regarding who may donate organs, blood, tissue and bone marrow. Before if you are a man that has had sex with a man you could not donate blood, but only blood. I was a card carrying organ donor. Now homosexual and bi males can not donate any part of their body, at all. It downright pisses me off and I am passionate about this subject, but I do not really know what to do. I saw an opportunity the other day when I was listening to the CBC (the Canadian Broadcasting Cooperation, government sponsored objective radio and television network) and they began talking about a musician that needs a bone marrow donation to survive. I knew that I would love to register as a bone marrow donor, and like others I could simply lie to the Canadian Blood Agency and tell them I have not slept with another male, but I can not do that. I am not going to break the law just to donate. They dont want my blood, fine, but I dont want to be silent. So I wrote the following letter to the CBC:

Hello Shelagh Rogers,

I was listening to the show the other day and I heard the story of Oliver Schroer, the fiddler who is looking for a bone marrow transplant. This inspired me, I had a small epiphany. I can donate bone marrow, it should help someone to live a better and longer life. I have a desire, a want and an ability to donate bone marrow, but I have stumbled upon a small problem. I am homosexual. According to the new laws I am no longer allowed to donate any part of my body, even though I used to be an organ donor. I find this a really sad and upsetting fact. I am 23 years old and I have no family history of diabetes, heart problems or cancer. I am 5' 11" 190lbs. I am a great candidate to donate but because I have sex with other men I am not allowed to. I am what I consider to be responsible when it comes to my sex life. I use protection, I get tested regularly and I am not promiscuous. I have many straight friends that are far more promiscuous than I am and in a higher risk category than I, but they are allowed to donate simply because they are not a male that has sex with another male. I feel that I could be making a difference in someone else's life by registering to donate my bone marrow, or regularly donating my blood; I could even save someone's life if I die prematurely by donating my organs. Unfortunately my government is keeping me from helping to save the lives of my fellow Canadians in need by implementing their confusing policy.

If you know anything I can do to help change this or get this message out I would be eternally grateful. This is a topic I am passionate about and can talk on, but I don't even know what to do.

Sincerely

Asher


Hopefully they will reply with something. If not, thats ok. At least I said something. I will figure out what to do next when the opportunity knocks.

So, the insurance company gave me $5000 for my truck, and you know what, I only payed $3000 for it. Apperantly that model is rare in Canada and worth more. Nice huh. Anyway it allowed me to afford a bit more for a new car than I was originally planning. I did some shopping around and now, as of today I am the owner of a 2007 PT Cruiser almost fully loaded and 36000km on it. I also get the remainder of its 7year/112000km bumper to bumper warranty! Woooo, it feels nice to have a warranty, freedom of mind. Also, on the same day I got the offer from insurance I also got a $1/hour raise at work (= YAY! Good news. Things are -so- picking up!

*hugs and licks to all*

I have wanted a pair of mustard yellow pants for like a year! And guess what? I finally got tired of trying to find a pair. So last week I was wandering through Winners and happened to find a pair of white pants I liked. I bought them, and some professional fabric dye and now I have my very own pair of mustard yellow pants ^.^ They went out with me yesterday and today and I have received a few strange looks, people now stare at my legs instead of my boobs =P Tee hee hee

Ok, so last Friday I got a call from the insurance of the other guy, and after talking to my witness and interviewing us all and recording us all they are willing to accept liability for the accident! ^.^ YAY! This means I am not at fault, I dont have to put a claim in on my insurance and they are going to pay me for my truck. They even are supplying me with a rental car until they make me an offer for my truck. The appraiser came by on Tuesday to look at it and said it looked like it was in good condition (before the accident). In a day or two I should get a call with an offer and hopefully I will be taking out a small loan (no more than $5k) and buying myself a new used car. (= Now all I have to do is go to court to get rid of my traffic ticket. So YAY!

Ok, when I was in Indiana I fell in love with the best hot sauce ever. Perfect balance of spice and flavour and texture. It is called La Preferida Louisiana Hot Sauce. I -need- some! I have been having huge cravings for it. Yum! It is only available in the eastern states (yes you midwest) Could I ask any of you Americans out there to pick me up a couple bottles and mail them to me? I can pay, extra. Pweeeeeeeese *puppy eyes*

=D

I love you!

It has been a while since I last posted hasnt it. Well, I have been rather... distracted. A week after my last post I got in another minor accident at work, involving the tire blowing on my work van as I was on the highway, spinning out destroying the tires and front axle. After that I just began to become rather tired all the time, slightly ill and jittery. I had no clue what it was. You know, a standing a heart rate of 90 bpm. Bleh. Anyway. I trudged through everything, and came Christmas. On the day I left for home with my sister to Regina my tonsils began to become sore. I made it through Christmas with extreme lethargy and a bit of pain then on December 30, back in Edmonton I decided it was time to go to the doctor. He gave me come antibiotics for the infection of my tonsils but alas, a few days passed and my infection only got worse. I went to the hospital in the middle of the night because I was having trouble breathing in my sleep. They boosted the antibiotics. This did -nothing- I went back to the hospital 2 days later when I was finally diagnosed with mono. GAH!!! Mono. Well it makes sense. They gave me a strong shot of steroids and my tonsils began to stop swelling. I slept for a few days. Began to heal. Last Wednesday I went back to work, finally (first time this year). On my drive home from work I was going to make a left hand turn onto 127st, sitting in the intersection and the light turns red. I look for traffic, everyone seems to be stopping, so I proceed through with my left hand turn and an idiot decides to run the red light and smashes into my truck. My truck (I brought from Indiana, and have put so much into) is totaled. The other driver is capable of driving away, and for some reason the cops give me a ticket for making a bad left turn, while the other guy doesnt get a fine of any sort. Now I am battling with the police and insurance companies to get the claim put on the other drivers insurance, and get my ticket removed. I got very lucky in the fact that I wasnt hurt badly and that a random stranger at the intersection pulled over and volunteered to me to be a witness and help me with the claim. So bleh. Sooner or later things will relax.

Im trying not to rant here, just merely update you all on my life. I am actually in decent spirits although tired. I wouldnt mind more sleep but the last accident has caused some insomnia. Now to start a new year, or at least I am going to start the new year here. (=

Bzzzzzzp! YAY

Well, hi all. I know I haven't really posted in a while, I have been hoping things will get better... but they seem to be getting worse first. 2 weekends ago I went to Regina to pick up a load of stuff from my parents house to help my sister move into her new place. About 30km outside of Regina on the way back, my truck -died-. I couldnt get it to turn over or anything. I had to get it towed back to my parents place, borrowed my mom's car and drove back to Edmonton. My parents got my truck into a shop and have been attempting to get it fixed. Finally yesterday I got the call that my truck is finally in good running shape again, but I dont know the bill yet. I need to get back to Regina now to pick it back up. A week and a bit later (about a week ago now) my laptop -died-. It won't start, turn on, nothing. I am currently borrowing Tabbers computer. Come new years I can have one of my dad's office's old Macs, but that means switching platforms, getting a desk and waiting. Now today... Well... I totaled my work van.

I was going south on Highway 2 in Leduc (just outside of Edmonton) at about 100km/h. When I drove over an overpass I hit a patch of black ice. The van started to swerve to the left and I tried to steer out of it but to no avail. The van would not change momentum or direction at all. It went off the side of the road (-just- after the overpass ended) through the ditch and hit the wooden posts for the guardrail for the oncoming traffic. I spun counter clockwise hitting 4 of the wooden posts and rested facing the highway again. The van is dead. It bled its radiator blood out.

As well last weekend the medicine I am on (Effexor XR an SSRI) stopped working properly. Not in terms of mood control, but other effects. I think my body is starting to reject it. I start going through withdrawal after about 18 hours now, with headaches pulsing throughout the day. It makes it difficult for me to sleep continuously. As well towards the end of the day I get 'mental hiccups' as I like to put it. I have gaps in thought and concentration and feel a strange pulse in my head and ears.

Bleh! I want things to start working out again. =S

OMG, My birthday is... TOMORROW, and my parents are comming! ACK! Gotta clean, but lazy is attacking!

Well I was almost an uncle. My sister was sick for a few weeks and then last week, around Thursday she went to the hospital with horrible pain. She was told that she was pregnant, but it was in her fallopian tube. This was a shock for her because she was on birth control. After about an hour of knowing that she was pregnant she was told that she needed to go into surgery because if the baby was allowed to continue to develop it would cause her fallopian tube to burst killing her and the baby. She was put into emergency surgery, the baby removed and her tube repaired (hopefully). I found out about this after it was all said and done on Saturday. I had a bit of a thanksgiving supper with her yesterday and she seems to be doing well. She says she was attacked with a baby bomb! Lol. It would be nice to be an Uncle. Oh well. Everyone is doing fine now. My sister just has to figure out what to do now. She broke up with the responsible party 2 weeks ago, and now he is back in her life. Should be interesting.

In other news, HAPPY THANKSGIVING! And for you Americans, HAPPY UNBIRTHDAY! I have made pies, (from scratch with pumpkin I roasted myself) and stuffing and just put the turkey in the oven. Tabber will be taking care of the rest. Enjoy all!

So for work today I had to go to a little community about an hour west of Edmonton called Fallis *giggles* tee hee hee hee hee.

Anyway, in other news yesterday, after bringing my truck into Canada on May 12, I finally got me an Alberta license plate =O YAY! I am now known as LER 212! W00t! And it matches the colour of my truck, white with red! It only too me... 4 and a half months =S heh.

AND LASTLY I got me a new Icon! I love it. It is an  oCe piece! Thanks! I LOVE it!

Watch this http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/51549/ and give someone a hug! One day I am going to stand in a part with a "Free Hugs!" sign!

I got tagged by  TehCrimsonFox

Y=yes N=no M=maybe

Would you...

[N] Push me into a wall and kiss me?
[Y] Come To My House To Do Nothing But Chill?
[N] Slap Me?
[Y] Slap me if i asked you to?
[N] Kiss Me?
[Y] Let Me Kiss You?
[Y] Watch A Movie With Me?
[Y] Take Me Out To Dinner?
[N] Take A Shower With Me?
[N] Take Me Home For The Night?
[Y] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed? (I'd gladly take the couch for a friend )
[N] Take Me Anywhere With You (I dont think you would want to go everywhere with me)
[M] Let Me Make You Breakfast?
[M] Make me breakfast?
[Y] Tickle Me?
[Y] Let Me Tickle You?
[Y] Stick Up For Me if I Was Being Put Down?
[Y] Instant Message Me?
[Y] Greet Me In Public?
[Y] Hang Out With Me?
[Y] Hold my waist from behind while we are out?
[M] Bring Me Around Your Friends?
[N] Fall in love with me
[Y] Like me
[N] Love me

Do You...

[M] Miss Me?
[M] Think I'm Sexy?
[Y] Think I'm Cute?
[N] Think I'm Hot?
[Y] Think I'm Ok?
[N] Think I'm Ugly?
[N] Want To Kiss Me?
[M] Want To Cuddle With Me?
[N] Want To Date Me?

Am I...

[Y] Smart?
[Y] Funny?
[Y] Cool?
[M] Loveable? =P
[Y] Adorable?
[Y] Great To Be With?
[Y] Attractive?
[N] Mean?
[N] Ugly?
[N] Gorgeous?

Have You Ever...

[N] Thought About Hooking Up With Me?
[N] Found Yourself Wanting To Kiss Me Non Stop?
[N] Wished I Were There?
[N] Had A Crush On Me?
[M] Wanted My Number?
[N] Had A Dream About Me?
[N] Been Distracted By Me?

Are You...

[Y] Happy You Know Me?
[Y] Thinking About Me
[Y] my friend?

Now it is time to do some tagging! I see  reiken,  dillydwagoness,  Raziel13 and  Rhari

Hi all. I am not gone, just dont feel like writing a lot. I still read my friends page though, so I know what you are all up to.

I went though old stuff today. I put some videos on youtube. The main one is of Jack and I back in January playing music, before everything fell apart.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=QuAArf3cuYM

I also found a lot of poetry I made back when I first met Jack. My thoughts from a time of my life where everything was so confusing. It is actually better than I thought it was:

Wonder

I wonder what your doing
where you are on the Earth
what you see and what you feel

I wonder how I can hold you
how I can feel you
how I can know you

I wonder if your touch is as beautiful as your voice
If you are gentle or if you are rough
If your face will light up when you see me

How do I know the truth
The reality of love
Without ever holding it within my arms




Stench

stench, smell
all around
looking for sneses to tear at and burn
rotting
fish on the counter
putrid fruit puree in a basket on a table
the hypnotic stench burns at the walls and the celing
devowering even the carpet
laying lifeless on the floor
the maggotts that crawl from a half eaten egg sandwich
seek refuge from the omnipresent attack
the smell seems to take on a life of its own forming
a body
hunting for all that is sane and good
to replace it with the evil inherant
in the noxous odor
four days old
the forces loom
decays



Golden Leaves

The golden leaves falling
To the crisp forrest floor
Amongst the weeds and the moss
Society ganders, flowers wilt and rott
Interrupted by the local teens, party
Creates more rott and stench
Cigarett butts and beer bottles strewn about
Decrepit society



Through the Lens of a Corpse

What would it feel like to have a bullet run
Straight through my body...
To see it exit through the other side of my body?
For nothing to be quite real,
To see everything in slow motion?
The blood splattering out of my back and...
Spraying on the wall behind me.
The beauty of life ended in a single moment.
The sanctity of the body split open for all to see.
The oozing, pulsing mass of flesh beneath
The tight canvas of skin, now torn open.
What would it be like to watch the world fade...
Out of view as the blood drains from my body?
To see the world through a red mist
Beneath the lens of a corpse?

Life is precious and wonderful, but
At the same time it only lasts for a brief moment in history.
Death is permanent.
And can be relived within the mind of the fleshy corpse
For eternity.

What would it feel like to feel a bullet rip
Through the flesh and...
Tear through my back,
To see the world disappear and fade into darkness,
Through the lens of a corpse?



Sweet Love

A bitter vinegar I
made from the sweetest of grapes can hurt
a wound and pucker a face, you,
boil it down, give it time, forgive
the acids within, a sweet syrup appears, taste me
see the flavour, Love.