Hi all. I am not gone, just dont feel like writing a lot. I still read my friends page though, so I know what you are all up to.

I went though old stuff today. I put some videos on youtube. The main one is of Jack and I back in January playing music, before everything fell apart.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=QuAArf3cuYM

I also found a lot of poetry I made back when I first met Jack. My thoughts from a time of my life where everything was so confusing. It is actually better than I thought it was:

Wonder

I wonder what your doing
where you are on the Earth
what you see and what you feel

I wonder how I can hold you
how I can feel you
how I can know you

I wonder if your touch is as beautiful as your voice
If you are gentle or if you are rough
If your face will light up when you see me

How do I know the truth
The reality of love
Without ever holding it within my arms




Stench

stench, smell
all around
looking for sneses to tear at and burn
rotting
fish on the counter
putrid fruit puree in a basket on a table
the hypnotic stench burns at the walls and the celing
devowering even the carpet
laying lifeless on the floor
the maggotts that crawl from a half eaten egg sandwich
seek refuge from the omnipresent attack
the smell seems to take on a life of its own forming
a body
hunting for all that is sane and good
to replace it with the evil inherant
in the noxous odor
four days old
the forces loom
decays



Golden Leaves

The golden leaves falling
To the crisp forrest floor
Amongst the weeds and the moss
Society ganders, flowers wilt and rott
Interrupted by the local teens, party
Creates more rott and stench
Cigarett butts and beer bottles strewn about
Decrepit society



Through the Lens of a Corpse

What would it feel like to have a bullet run
Straight through my body...
To see it exit through the other side of my body?
For nothing to be quite real,
To see everything in slow motion?
The blood splattering out of my back and...
Spraying on the wall behind me.
The beauty of life ended in a single moment.
The sanctity of the body split open for all to see.
The oozing, pulsing mass of flesh beneath
The tight canvas of skin, now torn open.
What would it be like to watch the world fade...
Out of view as the blood drains from my body?
To see the world through a red mist
Beneath the lens of a corpse?

Life is precious and wonderful, but
At the same time it only lasts for a brief moment in history.
Death is permanent.
And can be relived within the mind of the fleshy corpse
For eternity.

What would it feel like to feel a bullet rip
Through the flesh and...
Tear through my back,
To see the world disappear and fade into darkness,
Through the lens of a corpse?



Sweet Love

A bitter vinegar I
made from the sweetest of grapes can hurt
a wound and pucker a face, you,
boil it down, give it time, forgive
the acids within, a sweet syrup appears, taste me
see the flavour, Love.