Temporary rehab centers are a really good idea in your situation. Both my late Mom and my Stepfather have used them after surgeries and other various serious medical episodes. It's covered by insurance and they (usually) take good care of them until they're at the point they can return home.

Just be sure to check them out online first, and try to visit her often once she's in there. It's better for everyone if the staff see that the patient is being monitored by visitors and not just there alone.

This one's closer than the swing bed rehab I've looked into--she is gonna need to go there before discharge anyways but yeah.

Absolutely. My father and grandfather had to sign my grandma into one for a while. Once she found a good one she liked, it worked out fairly well. Just make sure to do your research and make sure the place doesn't have weird problems.

Yeah, we have a local one my aunt went to before her passing, been there a few times and I at least know the place is comfy.

That'd be a good start. It is a possibility to find a different place if problems start. But with how things have been going for you lately, I definitely think this is the right idea for you, and there's nothing wrong with it.

well you already know how i feel about the situation, but if you truly insist on taking care of these people, you need to remember to take care of yourself, as well.

if you know of a good place to put her, then yes, do it.

if you want to ensure she's taken care of, and if it's going to require an excessive amount of attention, it's not gonna go well if you're panicking and struggling.

this would at least give her the care she needs, and allow you to ease the pressure off of yourself.

if you're worried over morality, well, it's not gonna be a very moral decision to keep her at home if you're unable to fully offer the care she needs, and it'll only be worse on you if something happens under your care.

I think I'm still hung up on how SHE brought up being put in a temp home for professional care, and how she got mad at me the other week when I said "Yeah, that actually sounds like a good idea."

Like as if I was supposed to disagree with her, lorddddd lol I'm gonna get my ass chewed out so hard when this is all over. Ah well.

There is the possibility that your grandmother came from an era when nursing home / care facility / etc., meant "Abuse-ridden shithole perma-forget asylum-lockup", and thus expected a strong "HELLS NO!" to it. The realization that the majority of them are actually competent care facilities is a bit lost on some folks. If (and note I say IF) this is her view, you need to keep in mind that it's not accurate in the current era.

If you are asking if this is an acceptable option? Absolutely, with proper care, research, and diligence. And, in my personal belief, deeply and sorely needed by you. Please do consider it as an important and indeed major option.

yeah, it has to be, cos i can't provide the stuff she needs, learned that today

My best wishes to you.

I watched my brother kill himself trying to take care of my mother before she died. I could tell he was in way over his head a month before he finally realized it himself. I also went through cardiac rehab 11 years ago after a 6-way bypass and I was the one going through needing assistance. I was in a good place physically so I didn't need as much as other people might. But I wasn't allowed to drive or lift more than 5 pounds for months. It was six months before I could sleep on my side, but that's a different thing.

It is no shame or moral failing to recognize when a job is more than you can give and ask for help. My brother should have gotten help months sooner than he did and it nearly killed him.

I don't really know what level of CABG she's going through, or how old she is, but what I went through was called "emergent salvage CABG" which means it wasn't planned, and I died before they could start work on me. They tore into me pretty quickly and misplaced a couple of parts along the way, but it's a fair trade. They were literally checking to see if I had any brain activity when I came around. I was 52 at the time.

I did not need "24/7 maintenance for months," though there were some rough patches, like almost passing out in a store a few weeks after. Also it looked bad when I had to let my wife load groceries in the car while I just stood there like a schlub. I was not even allowed to leave the hospital until I could walk the entire loop around the ICU level, and make it up at least 5 steps.

My wife as caregiver did spend more time than I would have liked panicking about my condition, but it was generally trending "better" every week. The hospital claimed that they had scheduled home care workers for me, but nobody ever contacted us about providing it (nor did they even tell us it had been requested). My wife works in the medical software business, though, and has personal experience with home care people, so she was well content to keep them out of our house. They probably looked at our address and realized there would be a LOT of driving to get out here.

I took myself to the bathroom (I was doing that even in the hospital, before I was released, resulting in some amusing and gross stories involving body cavity drains). I could have made my own food, but she insisted. She did not have to help me in or out of bed, nor up and down the few stairs we have. She had plenty of free time away from taking care of me. The most difficult challenge was probably putting on the damned compression socks, which were fucking useless in every possible way.

Now, my recovery is my own. Everybody's is different. I would not have minded some professional assistance, if only to answer questions about some of the issues that the hospital utterly failed to mention in their haste to eject me. I'm sure there's no situation that couldn't have been made worse if I decided to have a self-pitying feeble invalid mentality and let others do everything for me, but that's just not who I am.

Morally, it's okay to do that as long as she gets proper appropriate care. If you have issues with it, then check in on her from time to time to make sure that the care isn't bad. And make sure about what the conditions are before signing her in, as far as visitation goes, and what to do in case you feel that the situation isn't right BEFORE signing.

Generally rehabilitation should be fine. It's relatively uncommon for things to become abusive. Just watch out for the other relatives pulling weird shenanigans.

If nothing else, i think you've earned a little break for some rest.

And drawing HUGE, like Extra-megahuge turbogiga tiddies and cute happy things to cope, perhaps maybe. Just when you do, try not to drink heavily. If you drink durign that time, drink moderately, and try to catch up a little on sleep. Takes time to work all that sort of stuff out of your system. When you feel better rested, think about the future, and starting to work toward a more emotionally stable living situation and reducing stress.

I was getting a lot better with the drinking after everything with the chemo--was actually down to just having maybe a beer on Sunday and leaving it as that. I drank through 2 bottles of whiskey between this and last week lol..

I uh, yeah, wanna try getting shit together so bad--I may have to actually get my mom situated and LEAVE cos everyone is fuckin insane here. No more, please. I wanna live.

Sounds like some progress. That's pretty good, by the way.

Just make sure that you do a thorough job so that you don't feel like you've left something undone when you head out on your own.

Several friends had relatives that had bypass and other medical interventions that required physiotherapy, rehabilitation and such. Overall it went okay in the end, with only minor mishaps, usually the fault of the patient being stupid. :D

When it comes to rehabilitation, bad/abusive workers generally tend to get filtered out because they hurt profits. If he rehab goes poorly because of that, then the insurance company has to pay more to get rehab done again and to fulfill paperwork requirements, and they HATE wasting money like that. So they tend to want to keep the more effective workers when possible for profitability reasons.