FA+
Shop
84 submissions
Cryptozoology, literally means the study of hidden animals. Those creatures unknown to science, or surviving pre-historic relics.
But what of those animals so pointless, so worthless, so......CRAP that science just doesn't want to know, and remain hidden more from a sense of acute embarrasment than anything else?
Welcome to the shadowy world of Craptozoology.
Reports of large hairy man-like creatures roaming the lonely forests of the world are nothing new, indeed, my father was one. But the infamous Sasquatch said to haunt the Pacific Northwest coast of the continent of North America has a little known cousin.
The Sucksquash ( Gigaontosquiticus Bloodnoki ) is an apelike humanoid some 6 to 8 feet tall possessed of a shaggy coat of hair, large feet, a foul stench and teeth so bad it has to rely on the pulpy flesh of over-ripe vegetables to survive.
It was first reported hanging around a logging camp near Bluff Creek, California, stealing toilet paper.
Craptozoologists theorise that an exclusive diet of semi-rotten runny vegetables has a catasrophic effect on the creature's digestive system, resulting in a condition known as implosive diorrhea , and that this is the reason for it's characteristicly pungent odour.
It can be recognised by a loud gurgling noise, and it's characteristic cry of "Oh god, not again!"
But what of those animals so pointless, so worthless, so......CRAP that science just doesn't want to know, and remain hidden more from a sense of acute embarrasment than anything else?
Welcome to the shadowy world of Craptozoology.
Reports of large hairy man-like creatures roaming the lonely forests of the world are nothing new, indeed, my father was one. But the infamous Sasquatch said to haunt the Pacific Northwest coast of the continent of North America has a little known cousin.
The Sucksquash ( Gigaontosquiticus Bloodnoki ) is an apelike humanoid some 6 to 8 feet tall possessed of a shaggy coat of hair, large feet, a foul stench and teeth so bad it has to rely on the pulpy flesh of over-ripe vegetables to survive.
It was first reported hanging around a logging camp near Bluff Creek, California, stealing toilet paper.
Craptozoologists theorise that an exclusive diet of semi-rotten runny vegetables has a catasrophic effect on the creature's digestive system, resulting in a condition known as implosive diorrhea , and that this is the reason for it's characteristicly pungent odour.
It can be recognised by a loud gurgling noise, and it's characteristic cry of "Oh god, not again!"
Category Artwork (Traditional) / Animal related (non-anthro)
Species Mammal (Other)
Size 905 x 1280px
File Size 162.3 kB
Comments