Wherein Hot rod gets a free bird with every mansion non-purchase.

For those who are just tuning in, this is a story I wrote when ten years old. As a result, the writing is... bad. Hilariously bad. Let's read!

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Annotations in red. Annotations pertaining to something not visible in plain text are omitted from this transcription

Hot rod VIII
Byrd, the bird Remember when I said this story was when I first really started practicing the art of making names out of random syllables? That… is not what happened here. I changed one letter. That was creativity back then.


Mr. Millionaire Subtle.

I walked away from the whole thing. I was trying to think of where to go next. I found a big house with a sign in front of it. Someone moved out. I wouldn’t have given it any thought if the sign didn’t say “SOLD to Hot rod.” I didn’t buy a house but I wasn’t complaining. “Cool” I said. I went in faster than one could say hummingbird. Why that word? When I went in it wasn’t decorated. Instead, it had boxes of decorations. I could decorate it how I wanted it. The whole house. By yourself. That enthusiasm may soon fade… I started immediately. When I was finished it looked like a castle. In fact, that’s what I called it. Castle Hot rod. And modest, too. I was very tired at that point. I went directly to bed. It took about 2 seconds to fall asleep. I woke up to breakfast on my bedside table. I didn’t skip it. It was creepy, though. Breakfast doesn’t fix itself. Not even in a world of fantasy does breakfast just appear on your bedside table And not once does the thought cross his mind that this may be the work of a creepy stalker fan. Or a breakfast mimic.


Byrd

It was creepy. I heard a noise downstairs. It sounded like a cardboard box fell down. I ran to the kitchen and found that a box of cereal fell down and just happened to have a bird inside. “I suppose this is the prize at the bottom of the box.” I said. I couldn’t help but to let out a chuckle. The bird was pink. Gee, I wonder what gender it is… The bird chuckled a bit too. I was freaked out. A bird that could laugh. You are in a world with vampires, wizards, swords on fire, blue swords that deflect magic, a clone of Tails, the Eknadrink, virtual reality games, and strangely-named currency. This is not the strangest thing you have seen. Could it talk too? “What? Haven’t you heard a bird laugh before?” it said. Unfortunately, the answer was no. “Oh yeah… Nobody has. I’m Byrd.” It said. I responded “Well, that’s obvious.” It responded “No, I mean my name. B-y-r-d.” Boy, did I feel stupid.


The wizard’s mistake You mean other than giving you the sword rather than just killing you? I’d think that one would be pretty hard to top. What were his motivations for that, anyway?

I heard someone pound at the door. I opened the door to find the wizard who of course, ran at the sight of me. Unless he is in the habit of knocking on random doors, this makes no sense whatsoever. Was he selling girl scout cookies? I ran after him. Byrd came along. I pulled out my sword and hit him. Byrd blasted him. I should probably give a serious answer to the question of what this is supposed to be. It is, after all, a question only I can answer. In my head, a blast is a blue-white ball of energy, somewhat representing a kamahameha blast in coloration, which is send toward the enemy and deals damage upon contact. The Blast spell was the most common one in my daydreams, akin to Magic Missile in D&D, in that regard. I, once again, was in shock. The wizard tried to blast it. I grabbed the bird and ran. The wizard tried to grab my sword but I punched him in his magical nuts. Ooh, magically edgy. Also, my brother, upon seeing this part, suggested calling them “crystal balls” instead. “Don’t even try it!” I yelled. He went into flight but that didn’t stop me. He was amazed when he saw that I could fly too. I didn’t know that Byrd came with me. The wizard tried to blast me and I moved. It was then that I found out that Byrd was right behind me. Byrd got hit by the blast. Byrd was still up for some reason and blasted the wizard. He was shot down. If anybody fell from that height they would have to be dead. We all know where this is going.


The explanation

We both flew to mansion and called MSL news. They flipped twice. Oy… Then we decided to get out some cake. No, I am not making that joke. We started to tell each other about our lives. She told me that she came to this world as a bird. She was captured by a millionaire and after the millionaire left she stayed there. That’s when she met me. She was the one who made breakfast for me (I knew it wasn’t magic.) That does not explain the sign.