Wherein the wizard expresses his displeasure at modern scientific practices.

For those who are just tuning in, this is a story I wrote when ten years old. As a result, the writing is... bad. Hilariously bad. Let's read!

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Annotations in red. Annotations pertaining to something not visible in plain text are omitted from this transcription

Hot rod VII
Hot rod comes again


Hot rod is back

After I came out of that game the scientists were convinced. One scientist said “I knew it was you when you gave that skeleton attitude.” It feels, once more, like a joke is trying to jump right out at me, but I cannot see it. That said, the fact that this both highlights how much of a Mary Sue the character is and reminds me of some of the efforts of media aimed at children to be “hip with the kids” says something sad about childrens’ media when I was growing up. I was hungry, tired, and of course, confused. I asked if I could go to bed before doing what I hate most, signing autographs. They said yes.


Someone’s here and it ain’t Saint Nick

I woke up to something very surprising. The wizard was blasting three scientists at once. Curse you, Jimmy! He hit one by throwing his sword at him. The embarrassing part is, it actually hit hilt-first, but the scientist died anyway. I don’t know what kind of thought made me say this but I did. “Here!” I yelled and instead of the sword going back to the wizard it went to me. The sword is also paper-trained. “Impossible! Only Hot rod can do that” Because, uh… First-come first-serve? yelled the wizard. I reacted by yelling “I am hot rod you dolt!” it was like I wanted to die. Lad, you can deflect any spell he throws at you. Him casting spells at you is more hazardous to him than to you, at this point. I expected a reaction but instead he ran. I was very tempted to yell that he was a chicken. I didn’t understand. He was afraid of me. A wizard that could destroy whole towns was afraid of me. Well, you being the only competent individual in the world… I went after him. He went through a portal. I went in after him. I saw a whole bunch of colors and then out we go. I went to a town I recognized. It was Adther. I wasn’t recognized (well, I was recognized as Tails) until I revealed my sword. One kid yelled “What did you do to Hot rod, you freak!?” It is a good thing that this is Hot rod. Otherwise, Darwin Award in three, two… Now was my chance. I focused hard on the blade and let out a powerful hit for the wizard to think about. He wasn’t too happy about it, either. He got out a sword of flames. Sounds nice in theory, until you light your robe on fire trying to unsheathe it. It looked just like the one in that virtual reality game. He tried to attack and succeeded to knock me to the ground. Just enough time to go into another portal. I felt pretty sore where he hit me. Swords are bludgeoning weapons in this universe, apparently. The portal shut before I got up. Everyone was worried, including me. However, I was worried about catching him while they were worried about me. They weren’t late to show it, either. I said “Just don’t make me sign autographs.” I told them what happened and they flipped. Again, wrong definition. It was then that I realized that I don’t have any money. I was getting major league hungry.