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Oh a title crap I forgot about those
General | Posted 6 months agoOooohhohoho, hAAAAA!
I love journal posts on this website. I think.
Because... Nobody's prompted to see it unless they're watching me. Well... Nobody IS. SOOOOOO, I can post here without my fear of eyeballs, and still feel like I'm contributing something to my social presentation in life, even though I'm very much not. Really, though, isn't the feeling enough. Heheee, we'll see...
Oh, but why am I here, what reason would I have to be here posting a journal after two months of not? Well, for starters I'm bored and scatterbrained? What?
- What, you're scatterbrained? Why?
Oh, look, we have ourselves a detective..! Fine... I'm- SHUT UP, I LIKE ELIPSES, OK!? No, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the other guy. Anyway-anyway-anyway, what I'm talking about- OH man, a really good song just started, hold on... ... ... Mm, yeah, that's some good stuff. Anyway, I figured all the imaginary people who are reading this should know that I'm writing a Pokemon story. Yep. That's the news.
Oh, whatever, I write as a hobby, yes, but I don't really blab on about that do I? So, If I go out of my way to mention a story in particular, that means it's more significant to me than the other things I've been fiddling with. At least right now. Hm, I sure hope not 'at least right now'. I like the story - I love the characters I'm spending time with by writing - I'm closer to my ideal world than I've ever been, the Pokemon World.
I'm not an artist, I'm not making art. I don't give a single dang fiddle-faddle about the intricacies of artistic construction. Screw that blithering nonsense. I'm not making art, I'm writing, in a world I love, with characters I'm bonding with every day, as I write from the heart first, and the mind second. I'm not writing because I want to make something. I'M WRITING BECAUSE I WANT TO BE SOMEWHERE! Somewhere other than here.
It's a wonderful story. Not because of some artistic analysis nonsense. It's wonderful, because I think it's wonderful. I love this story, I can't get enough of this story. I want to keep writing, because when I'm not I feel that I'm away from this place that I love, but I CAN'T write all day; I'll burn out.
Oh, but I can't do this forever, can I? Just one thing, one story, day after day. Unfortunately THIS is the world I live in, and despite it not being the world I particularly love, I still have other interests. Other stories that I want told, other worlds I want to visit, other skills I want to build, and a body that needs to be cared for and maintained. Although I'm doing half of that last part, I'm not doing any of the other things, which means what I'm doing now isn't sustainable...
So... How do I do it? How do I keep eating this Pokemon story up like candy, while making sure I'm doing everything else as well. More creative hours? Can I handle that? Can I handle the flip flop? I'm not sure, but the extremely smart and attractive person who wrote that previous paragraph is right. Something's gotta give, or something's gonna give. Oh, the dilemma...
Ok, I'm clicking post. Proofreading is for chumps (JOKE.).
I love journal posts on this website. I think.
Because... Nobody's prompted to see it unless they're watching me. Well... Nobody IS. SOOOOOO, I can post here without my fear of eyeballs, and still feel like I'm contributing something to my social presentation in life, even though I'm very much not. Really, though, isn't the feeling enough. Heheee, we'll see...
Oh, but why am I here, what reason would I have to be here posting a journal after two months of not? Well, for starters I'm bored and scatterbrained? What?
- What, you're scatterbrained? Why?
Oh, look, we have ourselves a detective..! Fine... I'm- SHUT UP, I LIKE ELIPSES, OK!? No, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the other guy. Anyway-anyway-anyway, what I'm talking about- OH man, a really good song just started, hold on... ... ... Mm, yeah, that's some good stuff. Anyway, I figured all the imaginary people who are reading this should know that I'm writing a Pokemon story. Yep. That's the news.
Oh, whatever, I write as a hobby, yes, but I don't really blab on about that do I? So, If I go out of my way to mention a story in particular, that means it's more significant to me than the other things I've been fiddling with. At least right now. Hm, I sure hope not 'at least right now'. I like the story - I love the characters I'm spending time with by writing - I'm closer to my ideal world than I've ever been, the Pokemon World.
I'm not an artist, I'm not making art. I don't give a single dang fiddle-faddle about the intricacies of artistic construction. Screw that blithering nonsense. I'm not making art, I'm writing, in a world I love, with characters I'm bonding with every day, as I write from the heart first, and the mind second. I'm not writing because I want to make something. I'M WRITING BECAUSE I WANT TO BE SOMEWHERE! Somewhere other than here.
It's a wonderful story. Not because of some artistic analysis nonsense. It's wonderful, because I think it's wonderful. I love this story, I can't get enough of this story. I want to keep writing, because when I'm not I feel that I'm away from this place that I love, but I CAN'T write all day; I'll burn out.
Oh, but I can't do this forever, can I? Just one thing, one story, day after day. Unfortunately THIS is the world I live in, and despite it not being the world I particularly love, I still have other interests. Other stories that I want told, other worlds I want to visit, other skills I want to build, and a body that needs to be cared for and maintained. Although I'm doing half of that last part, I'm not doing any of the other things, which means what I'm doing now isn't sustainable...
So... How do I do it? How do I keep eating this Pokemon story up like candy, while making sure I'm doing everything else as well. More creative hours? Can I handle that? Can I handle the flip flop? I'm not sure, but the extremely smart and attractive person who wrote that previous paragraph is right. Something's gotta give, or something's gonna give. Oh, the dilemma...
Ok, I'm clicking post. Proofreading is for chumps (JOKE.).
A HA!!!
General | Posted 8 months agoI found the create journal button!!!
I HAVE TO GET THIS OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!!!!! ! !! ! ! ! ! !!!!
You see, I want to be more social! I want to have connections with people that like the things I like. People that I encourage, and people to encourage me!
I WANT TO BE BOLD ENOUGH TO POST THINGS THAT I MAKE! I want to be bold enough to send an online person, any of them really, a message; literally just one; or a comment on their post!
However, even now, when the "me who can" is out and acting on these desires for the first time in many months, whenever I do any of the previously stated things, I get these vague mental feeling akin to fishhooks in my skin. An anxiety of sheer desperation! Desperation that I'm not too much of a shut-in to be understood or appreciated, but also a desperation that I'll hear a voice, any voice when I throw my halemarries into unknown territory of the internet; unknown territory that I should know, should've known, but somehow do not.
I need fire. I NEED FIRE! The fire is you, dear reader. When you speak to me, it sets me on fire, and it hurts. But, BUT!!! When this fire burns, my fear burns along with it. So DO IT! Talk to me! BURN ME!
...
...
...
Honestly, though, once I get going I do feel quite alright! I'm just stuck in a one-way cage. Only the outside can open the bars. I understand those who walk by, after all I'm underground, how could they know...
But I've been scraping my claws against the metal for most of my life. I've made a lot of progress, not that you can see, but my poor paws must look dreadfully damaged at this point.
So, dear reader, it would appear a tiny hole has opened in the ground, and my hope is that my the faint sound of my voice will be heard by someone, over the thundering footsteps of the everyday wanderings of those on the road above me.
You don't have to dig me up and open the cage, I'm the only one obligated to do that. But... If you could just- Bring your beautiful voice to that opening, before the footsteps and rain close it up again, and give even the smallest of hellos. Well... It would be well appreciated..!
If you do, I can't wait to finally see you once I've clawed my way to the surface. Those above may not understand the gibberish I say, or notice me among the masses, but I'll just be happy to be there.
With love,
Sunset F.
I HAVE TO GET THIS OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!!!!! ! !! ! ! ! ! !!!!
You see, I want to be more social! I want to have connections with people that like the things I like. People that I encourage, and people to encourage me!
I WANT TO BE BOLD ENOUGH TO POST THINGS THAT I MAKE! I want to be bold enough to send an online person, any of them really, a message; literally just one; or a comment on their post!
However, even now, when the "me who can" is out and acting on these desires for the first time in many months, whenever I do any of the previously stated things, I get these vague mental feeling akin to fishhooks in my skin. An anxiety of sheer desperation! Desperation that I'm not too much of a shut-in to be understood or appreciated, but also a desperation that I'll hear a voice, any voice when I throw my halemarries into unknown territory of the internet; unknown territory that I should know, should've known, but somehow do not.
I need fire. I NEED FIRE! The fire is you, dear reader. When you speak to me, it sets me on fire, and it hurts. But, BUT!!! When this fire burns, my fear burns along with it. So DO IT! Talk to me! BURN ME!
...
...
...
Honestly, though, once I get going I do feel quite alright! I'm just stuck in a one-way cage. Only the outside can open the bars. I understand those who walk by, after all I'm underground, how could they know...
But I've been scraping my claws against the metal for most of my life. I've made a lot of progress, not that you can see, but my poor paws must look dreadfully damaged at this point.
So, dear reader, it would appear a tiny hole has opened in the ground, and my hope is that my the faint sound of my voice will be heard by someone, over the thundering footsteps of the everyday wanderings of those on the road above me.
You don't have to dig me up and open the cage, I'm the only one obligated to do that. But... If you could just- Bring your beautiful voice to that opening, before the footsteps and rain close it up again, and give even the smallest of hellos. Well... It would be well appreciated..!
If you do, I can't wait to finally see you once I've clawed my way to the surface. Those above may not understand the gibberish I say, or notice me among the masses, but I'll just be happy to be there.
With love,
Sunset F.
