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An Ounce of Comfort or a Pound of Treachery?
5 years ago
General
I am a strong fan of the Animator John Dilworth. But occasionally, I forget him. I happened to come across some Pokémon done in his artistic style. Cute unevolved ones progressing down their evolution lines with progressively intensifying elements of terror on Courage. After being reminded of him by these pictures, I went and watched one of his random vlogs where he introspects about things he experiences in nature. This progressed into a conversation with a friend about the show. Ultimately, when I was alone with my thoughts again, I thought about when I watched it the most, and that was in my early adolescence with my mother who was also a fan of the show.
I recall ranting about her toxic behavior in one of my previous journals, and now, more of her behavior has been brought to my attention. Frankly, it's unpleasant and at the time I didn't really know how to wrap my head around it. I have a sister who is mentally handicapped, one who I feel bad for for a multitude of reasons. From my wanna be SJW stepfather filling her head with nonsense that she can't fully understand to what I've learned most recently, They've embezzled her social security funds to buy a car.
Returning back to the first paragraph, The first things I remember are the comforting moments when we watched that show together. Not the lies, the manipulation, the toxicity, and the drama that she'd stoked not even a few months ago. Why is it that an ounce of comfort outweighs the treacherous, vitriolic behavior? Why do I find myself dreaming about my ex as if I'm searching for him or have wronged him when I broke up with him because of the unforgivable shit that he did?
When people ask me if humans are naturally good or evil, I typically respond with this introspection. We only want to remember the good, versus the bad. We get a stronger emotional reaction to remembering the good. It can brighten our mood when we're melancholy vs. when we remember something bad, it generally takes a sustained inflection on bad memories to bring down our mood. Why do we have to force ourselves to use the logical part of our brain to get out of a bad relationship? Because we naturally fall back on the good, and so long as we can see the light in the other person, it's never too late. An ounce of comfort makes a pound of treachery easier to swallow.
I recall ranting about her toxic behavior in one of my previous journals, and now, more of her behavior has been brought to my attention. Frankly, it's unpleasant and at the time I didn't really know how to wrap my head around it. I have a sister who is mentally handicapped, one who I feel bad for for a multitude of reasons. From my wanna be SJW stepfather filling her head with nonsense that she can't fully understand to what I've learned most recently, They've embezzled her social security funds to buy a car.
Returning back to the first paragraph, The first things I remember are the comforting moments when we watched that show together. Not the lies, the manipulation, the toxicity, and the drama that she'd stoked not even a few months ago. Why is it that an ounce of comfort outweighs the treacherous, vitriolic behavior? Why do I find myself dreaming about my ex as if I'm searching for him or have wronged him when I broke up with him because of the unforgivable shit that he did?
When people ask me if humans are naturally good or evil, I typically respond with this introspection. We only want to remember the good, versus the bad. We get a stronger emotional reaction to remembering the good. It can brighten our mood when we're melancholy vs. when we remember something bad, it generally takes a sustained inflection on bad memories to bring down our mood. Why do we have to force ourselves to use the logical part of our brain to get out of a bad relationship? Because we naturally fall back on the good, and so long as we can see the light in the other person, it's never too late. An ounce of comfort makes a pound of treachery easier to swallow.
