Art give's me attention to detail. I have a sharp eye for hitting my mark. Physically exceling in life has given me a sense of patients. Patients compliments studies. I'm not the smartest. For sure. However, I know I'm not the dumbest. Each move is working towards something that is going to give me a smile. Happiness is always right in front of me. Never squelch a moment man. Keep your head up. Staying focused is the ticket here. You may just very well be suffering from a problem. Admitting that is a great start to pulling your self together. Pulling your grammar together would be nice to. (I can't believe grammar is spelled with an (ar) It should so be an (er).
No one has ever attempted to be your friend in the fandom and you seem to have a difficulty finding a way to communicate long enough to ever make a friend. You know this true of yourself. 35 and lieing. You should be ashamed. People are right and your admitting it freely. This is going to be a good way of adjusting your sense of thought. Something happened over the last two years that is in the process of being fixed now. Who knows why pride locks you in a sense of stubborn secluded hatred. Is it survival? Is it a way to better yourself? Is it preparing me for something greater. YES!! Every one of these things. The day you can let it all go and just stand steady before your shame is the day you can carry fourth without question to something greater. SOME PEOPLE NEVER DO THIS!!