Hello friends, fans, supporters and fellow musclefurs;
Almost since the beginning of my bodybuilding journey in 2006 I have been pursued by the question of whether or not I’ve taken performance-enhancing drugs to fuel my results, a situation well-familiar to anyone who has seen results in the gym. Some people see muscle, they see growth and they ask: are you on steroids?

For nine years I have been able to honestly answer that question with a flattered negative. Am I on steroids? No, I’m not. I worked hard. But this year, 2015, is the year that changed for me. Ask me today with my recent results: “Achilles, are you on steroids?”

Yes, my friends, I am.

This is my coming out and admission; I have just concluded my first ever steroid ‘cycle’ which began at the end of June and has lasted 8 weeks. I am now among those in the gym and the sport who you can consider chemically enhanced. I am natural no more. And I’m here to be honest about it.

Why have I done this? It is a personal decision regarding my goals and my body, carefully considered. I have trained hard as a natural for many years and learned a lot, earned a lot. But my pursuit of bodybuilding excellence compels me to want to take it to the next level; my idols have always been the huge pro bodybuilders from every era, from Arnold Schwarzenegger to Jay Cutler to Phil Heath and Kai Greene today. I have always aspired to that level – and to get there, this is a road I have to take, as they did.

Why now? Many of you will be aware of how difficult this past year with my business troubles has been. Late 2014 I was so overwhelmed I nearly made another decision - not to continue with life at all. But getting through that dark time made me evaluate my passions and purpose in life; bodybuilding fills me with more passion than anything else in a way I cannot describe. I learned that if I were to be happy and stay sane with all the stress around me, I must get back to what truly fulfils me. Competitive bodybuilding. But I was deeply aware I wasn’t achieving what I desired naturally, and steroids were always off my radar as something I couldn’t attain. But what if I could? So I looked into it – and I could attain after all. So I made a decision – and you know by this announcement which way I decided.

Why tell anyone? Most users of performance-enhancing substances remain silent and secret on the matter, outright denying the use. Whether for fear of the legal repercussions or the backlash from fans or simply being regarded a ‘cheater’. Continuing to share my results while never speaking of one of the tools that fuels it would be the easiest thing in the world - in fact it supports the whole supplement industry as ‘roided’ bodybuilders are shown endorsing the latest preworkout or protein powder. But I know from very personal experience how damaging this silence is to those upcoming or starting out in the sport as naturals. As a young man I suffered from body dysmorphia (bigorexia) due to all these athletes saying they achieved their huge, freaky physiques ‘naturally’ while I compared my body with theirs and felt my esteem crushed. It’s in our nature to compare results, and as a natural if you compare yourself with someone that uses steroids but denies it, you’ll feel worse. I don’t want to be the cause of that in anyone else. I want to support and encourage anyone in their goals, natural or not. But you need all the information first – the true information.

Where to from here? I have now imparted the fact of my steroid use. I have no idea what the reaction will be. I am neither going to stop bodybuilding, or sharing my bodybuilding progress, or giving people workout advice if they ask it of me. I only hope that my taking this approach will lead to more discussion and thought on the subject; I am speaking of something that is taboo, and making what is normally in the shadows, visible. A part of me hopes that more openness will come from this: I am not the only ‘musclefur’ who has gone down this road. Over the years eleven other furs have revealed to me in private conversations they are using, or have used anabolic steroids in their workout pursuits. It is not my place to ‘out’ anybody but I hope nobody thinks I am bringing something disreputable into the fandom; it is already here, and has been for awhile. The actual number using is likely to be higher. We should be able to talk about this subject more.

In closing: This is only the start of the conversation we will likely be having in the comments; while daunted part of me hopes for positive discussion. I hope it will be civil but I know how hot feelings may run. In part of being open I will hope to answer questions put to me but I will not:

• Answer questions on how to acquire steroids.
• Give people advice on steroid use, cycles, dosages etc

For reasons that I hope are obvious; I will not assist anyone in breaking the laws of their country, nor am I qualified to give advice of a medical nature. And for the record: You cannot seriously consider anabolics until you have many years of natural training under your belt and have made a solid base of gains. You can go very, very far naturally especially when young.

Thank you for listening.

Edit: Will be away from the computer a couple hours after posting this. Will return to answer any questions or comments then. Thankyou.

EDIT II: Have tried to get to all the replies but falling behind. I'll get back later and address the rest and will continue to do so !