i just finished up everything on my commission list and it's clear again. i hate myself so much for hos long it's taken to do these customs. in the end it's just my fault and i don't want to seem like a whiner about my life currently but i do feel i should explain a little.

i'm struggling with depression. medicated for it and i'm far more cheerful but the side effects of my meds are A.D.D. which effects my work fair bit but the second side effect is what's really making it hard.

the meds make my hands shake. now i'm used to it a little, i used to get the shakes every now and then, but this is constant and frankly scares the living crap out of me. i used to paint warhammer figurines and now it's a struggle to work with anything near that level of detail. i spend hours working and reworking any details on my current pieces in the hopes that it doesn't look like a five year old on red bull fingerpainted a pony.

i'm managing for the moment by using elastic bandages and bracing my hands on the desk and such but i am honestly scared that it's going to get worse. in no way am i going to stop painting or sculpting or writing or doing anything else with my hands, and i'm not going to give up on the quality and effort i put into my work.

with that out of the way i'd still like to apologize to my commissioners or to anybody who plans to commission me in the future. i will work through these problems and rise above to the best of my ability. feel free to poke me, berate me, pester me constantly, if you feel i'm not moving fast enough.