I... really hate to be doing this
3 weeks ago
General
4 months ago I announced a small price increase incoming... Unfortunately due to my current life situation and events I'm forced to increase them by a lot, like a WHOLE lot more... like 2.5x across the board.
tldr: I don't like this one bit, but I have to charge more or give up on the only thing that gives me purpose in life
Let me explain why and sorry in advance, it's a long story. Firstly lets start off with my health condition. Ever since I was 16 I was dealing with nearly constant psychosomatic headaches. Psychosomatic pain is basically your brain signaling you a mental distress. Like stress induced tummy aches for example which is how they started in my case, but because I was forced to ignore them and push through due to school, they eventually evolved. Tummy aches weren't too hard to deal with so my brain eventually switched tactic to induce headaches which were much harder to ignore. First I've dealt with them by using painkillers, but after a year or 2 of using them nearly daily (you shouldn't use for more than 2 weeks in a row, but I was forced to) I developed drug resistance which persists to this day (it's relevant). Those headaches got so bad that They've gotten me nearly bedridden for at least 5 years. The only thing that kept me going was this fandom and art it makes. Decision to pay this community back by doing the same someday was the sole reason I haven't given up on life. During that time I was diagnosed with severe depression which probably developed due to unresolved trauma (lots of bulling in previous school decided to resurface), regular highschool stress and constant sleep deprivation. This created endless feedback loop of Headaches make me unable to act > Not being able to act makes my depression worse > Depression is mental distress fueling psychosomatic headaches which is pretty much impossible to treat due to my (you probably guessed it) drug resistance!
It took many years of trail and error to find something that helped at all, but headaches got more manageable. This leaves me with 4 hours or so when I can work, but not every day. Sometimes headaches and depression are too much to handle.
During those 4 hours I'm trying to draw and work on commissions, but because I'm completely talentless (however despite that still perfectionist), it takes me over a month to finish a piece.
Familiy's good will is running out. Telling me to give up on art and look for different carrier. The problem is there is nothing in my life that I find to be worth doing or even that I'm fit to do with my conditions and skills other than art.
At the same time with how long it takes me I estimated that if I'd like to make a minimum wage in my country, I'd have to charge at least 850 dollars for a single shaded character with no background and it's not reasonable price for a nobody like me, but I HAVE TO make way more than I currently do to quell their disappointment cause for most of my life I was just a leech. Not by a choice but still, I hate myself for that more than anything.
I'm really sorry but this is why the prices will go up by 2.5x or so. As much as I hate it, I just can't go on like this anymore... It's do or give up and die.
Of course everyone before my first price change announcement still will get asked for about as much as they expected. I won't shaft you guys like that out of nowhere, but everyone after can expect things to go way up...
If you've read all the way here, know that you're a real one. Thank you *hugs*
tldr: I don't like this one bit, but I have to charge more or give up on the only thing that gives me purpose in life
Let me explain why and sorry in advance, it's a long story. Firstly lets start off with my health condition. Ever since I was 16 I was dealing with nearly constant psychosomatic headaches. Psychosomatic pain is basically your brain signaling you a mental distress. Like stress induced tummy aches for example which is how they started in my case, but because I was forced to ignore them and push through due to school, they eventually evolved. Tummy aches weren't too hard to deal with so my brain eventually switched tactic to induce headaches which were much harder to ignore. First I've dealt with them by using painkillers, but after a year or 2 of using them nearly daily (you shouldn't use for more than 2 weeks in a row, but I was forced to) I developed drug resistance which persists to this day (it's relevant). Those headaches got so bad that They've gotten me nearly bedridden for at least 5 years. The only thing that kept me going was this fandom and art it makes. Decision to pay this community back by doing the same someday was the sole reason I haven't given up on life. During that time I was diagnosed with severe depression which probably developed due to unresolved trauma (lots of bulling in previous school decided to resurface), regular highschool stress and constant sleep deprivation. This created endless feedback loop of Headaches make me unable to act > Not being able to act makes my depression worse > Depression is mental distress fueling psychosomatic headaches which is pretty much impossible to treat due to my (you probably guessed it) drug resistance!
It took many years of trail and error to find something that helped at all, but headaches got more manageable. This leaves me with 4 hours or so when I can work, but not every day. Sometimes headaches and depression are too much to handle.
During those 4 hours I'm trying to draw and work on commissions, but because I'm completely talentless (however despite that still perfectionist), it takes me over a month to finish a piece.
Familiy's good will is running out. Telling me to give up on art and look for different carrier. The problem is there is nothing in my life that I find to be worth doing or even that I'm fit to do with my conditions and skills other than art.
At the same time with how long it takes me I estimated that if I'd like to make a minimum wage in my country, I'd have to charge at least 850 dollars for a single shaded character with no background and it's not reasonable price for a nobody like me, but I HAVE TO make way more than I currently do to quell their disappointment cause for most of my life I was just a leech. Not by a choice but still, I hate myself for that more than anything.
I'm really sorry but this is why the prices will go up by 2.5x or so. As much as I hate it, I just can't go on like this anymore... It's do or give up and die.
Of course everyone before my first price change announcement still will get asked for about as much as they expected. I won't shaft you guys like that out of nowhere, but everyone after can expect things to go way up...
If you've read all the way here, know that you're a real one. Thank you *hugs*
FA+

and i dont wanna belittle your struggle/journey by saying something as cliche as "if i could wish it all away i would"
but, if i had the power to help. id like to. and i hope that in the future i can.
family always should be supportive either way, but meh <,<
also don't hate yourself for that please x3 we are all "leeches" in one way or another. I am too. maybe even more than just a little, pff. so ... it's okay to be one, kinda ... but yeah, well, it's not good to hate oneself for that, so please, don't hate, hate is bad x3
"because I'm completely talentless" come one now, you are totally not xD *baps* I, we, know, you are totally not :3 so much talent in such little 'bold ♥
huh well ... yeah well, hope things will get better soon, either way ♥