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The general state of things
7 months ago
General
Life continues, things move forward.
As the last few professional job opportunities i've actually had "interviews" for have all ended with the usual "We decided to go with another candidate at this time"
It is looking more and more likely that i'll be moving back in with family come mid-October.
While I'm not dreading this, as that relationship is still very much ok/intact, it's a sign of things that this late into being an "adult" that this is what things have come to.
How much of things were directly my fault, Is hard to quantify (how many more job apps should have gone out, could i worked harder and perhaps been spared getting cut at the previous job, ect)
And even harder to quantify is how much of things were 100% out of my control (Job market, overall economy, ect)
It took all of 9 months to hit this point, and that was with savings, unemployment, and a cashed out 401k from the last place i worked.
What's perhaps more startling, is that with unemployment, i basically had no outgoing. It covered everything month to month. So really it only took 3-4 months to burn through things.
(Caveat to this, i did get a car during this time, but the cost was 5k, free and clear, for something that was more than just a junker, which i did try gig work with, but the area is over saturated with drivers)
Let me be clear, this isn't a pity post, or a "save me" post. I'm not about to out on my butt with nothing.
It's more of a vent at how helpless things can seem in the face of the systems that exist right now.
9 Months was a long time to last on savings in the U.S. given how this year has gone for the average person.
In a way, i can't be angry, given i actually prepared for this situation, i just didn't prepare enough it seems, or for long enough.
The last time this happened, I was out of work for about 2-3 months, it's been 3-4x that amount now.
And sacrifices did have to be made, artists who rarely open for work were passed over, and at least one artist whose slot i has been waiting for a year plus in their queue, i had to give up when my name finally came up in their queue.
I want to scream that "it's not fair, I don't deserve this, this is bullshit"
But I also know looking back, Life is rarely "fair" or "just", it simply is.
Perhaps fortunes will improve soon, but that kind of change isn't quite in the air it feels.
The world is too unstable at the moment.
People are too scared of what comes next.
We cannot build with storms looming, or raging.
We cannot take risks with the winds battering everything.
We refuse to brave rains for those outside the gate.
Thoughts, prayers, sentiments, words.
Poor materials from which to build foundations and roofs.
And yet that is what is offered.
*sigh*
Apologies.
As the last few professional job opportunities i've actually had "interviews" for have all ended with the usual "We decided to go with another candidate at this time"
It is looking more and more likely that i'll be moving back in with family come mid-October.
While I'm not dreading this, as that relationship is still very much ok/intact, it's a sign of things that this late into being an "adult" that this is what things have come to.
How much of things were directly my fault, Is hard to quantify (how many more job apps should have gone out, could i worked harder and perhaps been spared getting cut at the previous job, ect)
And even harder to quantify is how much of things were 100% out of my control (Job market, overall economy, ect)
It took all of 9 months to hit this point, and that was with savings, unemployment, and a cashed out 401k from the last place i worked.
What's perhaps more startling, is that with unemployment, i basically had no outgoing. It covered everything month to month. So really it only took 3-4 months to burn through things.
(Caveat to this, i did get a car during this time, but the cost was 5k, free and clear, for something that was more than just a junker, which i did try gig work with, but the area is over saturated with drivers)
Let me be clear, this isn't a pity post, or a "save me" post. I'm not about to out on my butt with nothing.
It's more of a vent at how helpless things can seem in the face of the systems that exist right now.
9 Months was a long time to last on savings in the U.S. given how this year has gone for the average person.
In a way, i can't be angry, given i actually prepared for this situation, i just didn't prepare enough it seems, or for long enough.
The last time this happened, I was out of work for about 2-3 months, it's been 3-4x that amount now.
And sacrifices did have to be made, artists who rarely open for work were passed over, and at least one artist whose slot i has been waiting for a year plus in their queue, i had to give up when my name finally came up in their queue.
I want to scream that "it's not fair, I don't deserve this, this is bullshit"
But I also know looking back, Life is rarely "fair" or "just", it simply is.
Perhaps fortunes will improve soon, but that kind of change isn't quite in the air it feels.
The world is too unstable at the moment.
People are too scared of what comes next.
We cannot build with storms looming, or raging.
We cannot take risks with the winds battering everything.
We refuse to brave rains for those outside the gate.
Thoughts, prayers, sentiments, words.
Poor materials from which to build foundations and roofs.
And yet that is what is offered.
*sigh*
Apologies.
