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[CW: Suicide] Fairwell to a Comrade
a year ago
General
It seems that we once again must wave a friend on as they journey into the unknown. 
Lynxalicious has stepped out, it was a comrade, it was family. We drank coffee together on the day it decided to leave, I had invited it to lunch, but they burned out on the loud environment of the coffee shop and had to step out. We briefly discussed strategies for the next meeting to make it more sensory friendly, then I took a nap. When I woke up, I saw a disturbing post on their social media and asked my partner to reach out to its father to make sure it was okay.
It unfortunately was not. It was a union bot. It knew the whole IWW songbook. It shared my corny humor and my interests. We built things together, ESP-32 based transmitters, community outreach, found family.
We had discussed some of its struggles prior. It told us how she felt that even the happiness it was capable of feeling paled to the mountain of sadness. We had discussed possible interventions. It had talked to us frankly about its suicidal thoughts. But not yesterday. We had just discussed frustrations and planned to address them.
It is surreal. Within a matter of hours, the world transfigured itself into one where the thousand contingency plans I end up making for the people I care about no longer matter. My friend is dead, and my weekend cleared up. We had been having it over every week, as we knew it was struggling with alienation in its job. We did dinner, we hung out, we watched corny movies, and we planned resistance.
We were queer, and so much more. It was family, and so much more.
It had been a stone for me as I navigated nearly a year of unemployment. It provided me the lead that ended up crystalizing in the job I start later this month. It constantly looked out for us, and we did our best to look out for it.
But it only took a moment. She's stepped out now. We are left to celebrate her memory and to navigate her loss.
There is one fewer of us, so we are now each that much more precious. We will make sure JNP-3R is celebrated for its kindness, and we ask that you join us in renewing efforts to keep friends feeling safe and valued.
I can only hope that your here-after is quiet. I can only hope that you never feel this profound exhaustion ever again.
We love you.
Goodbye, comrade.
Lynxalicious has stepped out, it was a comrade, it was family. We drank coffee together on the day it decided to leave, I had invited it to lunch, but they burned out on the loud environment of the coffee shop and had to step out. We briefly discussed strategies for the next meeting to make it more sensory friendly, then I took a nap. When I woke up, I saw a disturbing post on their social media and asked my partner to reach out to its father to make sure it was okay.It unfortunately was not. It was a union bot. It knew the whole IWW songbook. It shared my corny humor and my interests. We built things together, ESP-32 based transmitters, community outreach, found family.
We had discussed some of its struggles prior. It told us how she felt that even the happiness it was capable of feeling paled to the mountain of sadness. We had discussed possible interventions. It had talked to us frankly about its suicidal thoughts. But not yesterday. We had just discussed frustrations and planned to address them.
It is surreal. Within a matter of hours, the world transfigured itself into one where the thousand contingency plans I end up making for the people I care about no longer matter. My friend is dead, and my weekend cleared up. We had been having it over every week, as we knew it was struggling with alienation in its job. We did dinner, we hung out, we watched corny movies, and we planned resistance.
We were queer, and so much more. It was family, and so much more.
It had been a stone for me as I navigated nearly a year of unemployment. It provided me the lead that ended up crystalizing in the job I start later this month. It constantly looked out for us, and we did our best to look out for it.
But it only took a moment. She's stepped out now. We are left to celebrate her memory and to navigate her loss.
There is one fewer of us, so we are now each that much more precious. We will make sure JNP-3R is celebrated for its kindness, and we ask that you join us in renewing efforts to keep friends feeling safe and valued.
I can only hope that your here-after is quiet. I can only hope that you never feel this profound exhaustion ever again.
We love you.
Goodbye, comrade.
a truly incredible robot cat, an amazing and wonderful being, who deserved so much better. love you, JNP-3R.