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I'm done with Sweden.
3 years ago
General
I was told off from getting a doctor's note for disability because I haven't gone to the psychologist for the past year, because I wanted to try and fix problems on my own for a year. * After, like, 8 years of ongoing treatment.
I tried being an honest individual and take responsibility for myself. But in return, i get FUCKED. I just get UTTERLY FUCKED. I end up punished for doing the correct thing. I never lied, deceive or make myself look better than I am. I tried going the morally right way. I tried to get help for my mental health. And I get F U C K E D.
And the worst part is. I believed in this place. I believed that there would be support for those in need. I believed that I could just speak up whenever, and I would get help. We have healthcare. We are one of the happiest countries. We have a high standard of living. But I cannot deal with it anymore.
Everywhere I turn around. I see a bureaucratic, rule-fetishizing faceless entities. I meet employees who say they care, but when push comes to shove, they don't. I see posters saying mental health is valued and to avoid isolation, so I try to get help for it. And I get told off. There is absolutely no reason for me to stay anymore, because I never managed to befriend people, and I never managed to reconnect with my family. And no one wants to help.
I honestly feel like a stranger in my motherland. This place where I grew up in. The people I got to know. The language I got to learn. The culture and in-jokes. It doesn't matter anymore. I don't belong here. I'm too normal to be considered in need of help, and too damaged to be able to work like normal.
In the end, Sweden was a nice fairytale story of happiness and support. But there is none to truly be found. I'm forced to participate in society but get NOTHING useful in return. No hints of compassion or genuine care, just cold hearted rejections and vague directions. So, in the end, there is no reason for me to stay here.
Fuck this place.
I tried being an honest individual and take responsibility for myself. But in return, i get FUCKED. I just get UTTERLY FUCKED. I end up punished for doing the correct thing. I never lied, deceive or make myself look better than I am. I tried going the morally right way. I tried to get help for my mental health. And I get F U C K E D.
And the worst part is. I believed in this place. I believed that there would be support for those in need. I believed that I could just speak up whenever, and I would get help. We have healthcare. We are one of the happiest countries. We have a high standard of living. But I cannot deal with it anymore.
Everywhere I turn around. I see a bureaucratic, rule-fetishizing faceless entities. I meet employees who say they care, but when push comes to shove, they don't. I see posters saying mental health is valued and to avoid isolation, so I try to get help for it. And I get told off. There is absolutely no reason for me to stay anymore, because I never managed to befriend people, and I never managed to reconnect with my family. And no one wants to help.
I honestly feel like a stranger in my motherland. This place where I grew up in. The people I got to know. The language I got to learn. The culture and in-jokes. It doesn't matter anymore. I don't belong here. I'm too normal to be considered in need of help, and too damaged to be able to work like normal.
In the end, Sweden was a nice fairytale story of happiness and support. But there is none to truly be found. I'm forced to participate in society but get NOTHING useful in return. No hints of compassion or genuine care, just cold hearted rejections and vague directions. So, in the end, there is no reason for me to stay here.
Fuck this place.
I appreciate your concern, though, but I also feel positive for the future. Hope you're doing okay and are able to handle it too.
All glibness aside, I am sorry that you're going through all this. You don't deserve it; you deserve compassion and care, but I genuinely don't know where it would be now. Probably Cuba, if I were to venture a guess. 😞
I know the systems we're stuck in are just miserable and designed to hold us down, but we can find a better way through this, together. You're not alone here, and I really do wish I could just make it all better for all of us with a snap of my fingers. Hurts too much to see others suffer.
As the tagline of Kemze says... feel different. I want you to feel comfortable in your uniqueness.
Living in Finland and dealing with related things. They do a tiny bit more than most but when most do literally nothing, the tiny bit more is not meaningfully helpful. A lot of the time is just trying to push you into either being "cured" enough to fuck off or just write you off as a forever in the system.