VRChat changed me.

It was the perfect storm of becoming a dynamic persona, being able to change how you looked like - but also, the evolution of society, the growing acceptance, and also just catching up over the past ten years.

It was the accessibility and the many alternative ways of communication; of finding and learning sign language, of making my own "mute-book" (a book with words I point towards), of just being completely silent to everyone, or even just talking with close friends. Or even, as I impulsively bought the body trackers, that the exciting new method of communicating through body language existed. Or just sounding terrible to people I will never meet again. Friendships has come and passed, just like in real life, but this game gave me a playground that didn't need the "safe space" tag. It just was. I could look, behave, do, and appreciate whatever I want, without the terribly stupid assumptions and anxieties of real life. Accessible chaos, basically, where I could be the observer that I always felt like being, until I was ready. I grew and grow, more and more.

It was also the acceptance, of people just being. Being themselves, being annoying, rude, happy, loving, and horny. I always knew this was in people, but it's difficult to see it in person from years of simple text messages - seeing communication play out in front of me, whether it was negative or positive, with all their little details - the shy manner, twiddly fingers, looking away, and not only the obvious, but also the coy conversations; the hesitation before revealing your feelings, the insecurity of different people, all on display. The word choices, the hand gestures, the harkles and squees. Best of all, the responses I get. They feel lively and meaningful, a direct and genuine response to my input. It makes me feel like I exist, that I have an impact and that I am meaningful. Even if it's a simple computer game, it feels meaningful and alive, perhaps the most I've felt for the past ten years.

But most of all, I love, love, love how my true colors show. I can be as honest as I've ever been, and I feel rewarded. It is the best feeling I've ever had so far.