"I Hate Everything About You"

Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven't missed you yet

Every roommate kept awake
By every sigh and scream we make
All the feelings that I get
But I still don't miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?

Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven't missed you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?

Only when I stop to think about you,
I know
Only when you stop to think about me,
do you know?

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?
You hate everything about me
Why do you love me?

I hate
You hate
I hate
You love me

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



If only things could have been different.. If only we weren't so different.. If only I hadn't changed so much and had the same desires that I used to have so long ago. When I used to love drawing almost every day, and RPing was the best thing ever. Inspiration ran through me like volcanic ash through a persons lungs. We used to text ALL the time! I used to get into trouble for texting to much. In fact if I wasn't texting you then it felt really weird and I didn't like it. Then things changed and I was forced to not be able to text to often. When you started working. I got too used to it. To the point that it didn't feel like I HAD to reply right away. I guess you never got out of the phase from before.. and it bothered you when I wasn't texting you like I used to.

So many things happened.. So many fights. I know I used to always say that fighting could make a relationship stronger if you let it, but they never stopped.. and always seemed to be based around the same things. Truth be told the fights were destroying me. Physiologically messing me up. Eventually my mind started to associate Drawing and RPing with negative feelings because of all the fights based around them. I think something in my mind thought it was best to no longer desire those things anymore because it wanted to avoid the fighting so much.

You know.. I used to lay in bed at night, crying myself to sleep because I would start thinking of situations where I lost you? Where you no longer desired me by your side? Where I would do something so tragic that you grew to hate me and I would become nothing more then a distant memory? Guess all those fears came true.. and it is all my fault. I pushed you away cause I just couldn't take the guilt, the fighting, being a constant disappointment for.

I got a car now.. Something I said I would never get. A Nissan Altima at that! I love my car and couldn't wish for anything better! I still live with my parents. I have irl friends, but they are all much younger then me. Fresh out of highschool. All that I met while doing that Lightsabers thing. It is really nice having irl friends and having a car. However I wish that having all these things didn't make us fight so that we could still be friends too.. Maybe if you could have been my irl friend too then none of this would have happened.. Long distance anything doesn't seem to last. No matter the effort you put into it. We were just to close for it to work. Why do I say that? Well we couldn't reasonably spend all of our waking time glued to a computer or phone. Not and have a life too. And it did no good to be jealous when you couldn't be apart of everything.

Not once did you offer to come see me.. it was always the other way around, but I had a much harder time finding the funds then it would have been for you. Your mother paid for your phone bill and probably your insurance too. You didn't really have any bills other then your place of residence and utilities. I had pets to take care of, phone bill that I had everyone in my immediate family on pretty much, and other things. I had everyone asking me why I wanted to go see a guy who never offered to come and see me. That it was the guy who was supposed to go see the girl..

Regardless.. I knew you would find someone better then me..