Wow, that was quite good! I was impressed with much of it. Great job. I would spend just a little longer trying describe charachters and set to set moods before changing the subject. You set some really great tones and feelings but they are fleeting, and the bad guys are nondescript beyond dirty.

There was a secion that said blood/water and that kind of abreviation is a little tacky, blood and water would have been fine.

Other than that, you are definitely improving! Looking foward to reading more yet!

Thanks! I am practicing my discription more and more. Plus this weeks prompt looks like fun.

*twitches* they got what they deserved those bastards...

excellent story, azel is awesome!

She's the vengance charicter for the story. She is against all the people like this in this world.

*evil grin* eeeeeexcellent.....