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I don't actually throw up or anything, but I really want to. I think I'd feel better if I managed it, really.

"I didn't think you actually set it up."

"It was a dumb idea."

"Yeah. Yeah I'll say that's about right." I don't think I'm yelling anymore. I guess that's good? My throat hurts anyway. "Why did you do it at all."

"Because I've tried everything else. I've been--as nice as I could but I still feel like you hate me."

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. "Of course I hate you! Look at what you JUST. DID! You actually thought that was a good idea how could I ever even tolerate you?"

"Hey! I only did this because nothing else worked! I was desperate."

"Why?" I think I'm yelling again. "Why does it matter to you if I like you or not?"

"Because we're about to be married! I don't want that to make you miserable. I just--didn't want you to be sad because of me."

That's. So. INCREDIBLY selfish I cannot even believe him. "Go piss on a grave! Last night you were staring at me naked and now today I'm supposed to fall into your arms because you save me you sick jerk you're imagining me naked right now aren't you!"

"What?"

"You're disgusting! Get away, don't follow me!" I don't know where I'm going but. If I stay here any longer I really do think I might end up killing him.