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The buttjerk runs off, leaving me with the other buttjerk. It's more like a buttjerk trade.

"Are you okay? You're safe now."

Oh he is NOT getting away with playing the hero. I am NOT taking this.

"Look, BUTTJERK, you can stop it all right now because I know you set this up just so you could rescue me so stop playing and just admit you're a BUTTJERK."

Buttjerk#2 gets a surprised look in his face. Did he think I was too dumb to figure this out? This is literally the plot of every third romance novel that came out this year.

"Sabby, calm down. It's all over now. Let's go sit down."

I want to laugh in his face but I think I start screaming instead. "Who was that guy? A friend of yours? Someone you paid? Did you really think this would WORK?"

Buttjerk#2 sighs as his dumbutt plan comes crashing in on him. I wish this was satisfying to watch, but this is just so stupid. "Sabby, listen to what you're saying. You don't think I would do that, do you?"

I really do. "I really do."

"I... didn't know you thought that poorly of me."

"Of course you do! That's why you set this up in the first place!"

"Sabby..."

No no you do not get to play all regretful now. I'm not going to feel sorry for you because you're a buttjerk. "This was your plan, wasn't it? You set this up!"

"You're yelling..."

"Of course I'm yelling! Just admit that this was something you set up!"

"Please just stop yelling for a moment."

"Admit it!"

"Sabhaxlia, please."

"Admit it!"

"Yes! Yes, okay? I set this up."

Wait what. Is he serious? Look at his face he's actually serious. He really did plan this. I guess I sort of was hoping he actually hadn't. I guess I was hoping I was wrong about all this? I don't think I actually believed he would. Do. Something. This.

Stupid.

"I think I'm going to go throw up now."