...Nice. You'd get my vote, if'n it wasn't fer the cat thing.


...On second thought, that's a minor point.Lemme know when the election is.

I have my own '11th Commandment', actually.

Hell yeah, this'd get my vote too. The cat thing aswell.

According to the original, though, you're probably just going to hell for this... ;)

According to the original I'm going to hell because I go to the bathroom. (At least that's what Reverand Lovejoy said on The Simpsons.)

Actually according to the original Hell doesn't exist. People get this wrong because of when the Romans adopted Christianity and merged all their old beleifs into it in order to convert the various cults in Rome.

I think there was some vague idea among the ancient Jews of a Shaol, but that may still be a post biblical tradition. The Hellenistic peoples around them had a notion of a cold, shadowy place (Hades) that the Jews may have adopted in the centuries before Christ.

More interesting (to me) is the thought that Christian hell was a fiery place. The idea would have dated to a period in Roman history when they were at odds with the last Persian empire, the Sassanians. The Sassanian dynasty were Zoroastrians I think, and worshiped a fire god. It would only be natural for the Christianized Romans to picture hell as a place their greatest enemies might equate with an object of worship. As a sidenote, the Persian empire included modern Iraq, where gas and oil oozed to the surface and often burned off naturally.

Interesting bit of information. I have an email somewhere in my inbox that claims pretty much every religious significant location(garden of eden, cradle of life, so forth) are all located in Iraq. Well didnt mean to go into all of this really as the posts should be about your submission, so sorry. Personally I agree with your version because the original 10 are things that shouldnt have to be written down or explained. But then again common sense isnt common.

Its the sidetracks we get off on that make FurAffinity interesting. My appetitle for simple flattering gets satiated after a bit, and then I want to hear something odd or unexpected. As is a discussion of the role of hell in religion of all things.

In Buddhist cosmology, Narakas are worlds of suffering that people born into because of major bad karma. Some are cold, some are hot. Eventually you get out, but you have to stay at least a zillion years in the worst places. No idea what you have to do to deserve it though, and those teaching probably were written after Buddha's time.

But Gautama said we don't have to believe anything, including his own words unless it makes sense to us.

I think its the Jehovah's Witnesses who also say everyone is saved, eventually. I bet the slow learners really tempt Gawd to create an eternal damnation just for them, though.

Budhism is a lot like Unitarianism. You don't have to believe much of anything, and it does't really matter if you don't. Everything happens as it was going to anyway.

If we are to believe there is someone who knows everything, then logically everything is predetermined.

Anyway, if humans had free will, then one could make a valid argument that they have the ultimate power over their own salvation.

The logical outcome of Stephen Hawkings' own belief of the universe as a hyper-dimensional sphere that God overlooks from a still higher plane, is that he can see to all ends of teh universe and from beginning to end. This would seem to require a determinist viewpoint. I thought about that a while and came to the conclusion that determinism is the limited perspective of a being (like us) who doesn't see everything as one point in space/time. To a God, determinism is avoided because beginning and ending are no different. One point is no better or no "more evolved" than the other. Just two different points. To imagine it, think of a Christmas ornament on a tree. Is one point on the shiney coloured surface before or after anyh other? Its all one and there is no determinism to it.

Who says there's no original philosophy on the internet?

In physical cosmology time and space might not have an "end" at all. Time could also be cyclical like many non-abrahamic religions and the Big Bounce theory (previously losing popularity but just recently bouncing back) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Bo.....t_Developments suggests.

But talking about too abstract things, especially relating to religion is often nothing more than playing with words. When I was younger, it kinda frustrated me how easily I came up with an omnipotence paradox.. can't remember how it went though.

I've recently read a book on the theory of bouncing branes and found it as complicated and divourced from reality as the Inflationary theory it tries to replace. It all comes down to String Theory, which may be elegant but has no basis yet in reality, and no power to focus on a single solution. I'm beginning to think we don't actually know very much more about cosmology than we did in 1950. We just have a lot of complicated theories.

conversations like this are the reason I read comments :D
*excited and happy now <3*

Hmm they look good to me.

However I liked the short and precise version too: ...thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself ..
It's short and pointy. However it also can be misinterpreted, but one should have enough survival instinct not to work against or even wipe out his own species.

"love thy neighbor as thyself."
What if you're emo?

Well you can't or rather shouldn't scarify everybody in plain sight, can you? :D

In my opinion religion is just a control mechanism, created by tyrrants and mass hysteria. The only comandment you relle need is this excrept from the wiccan rede Do what ye will an it hurt none. Ps This isn't really furry content but interessting none the less.

"religions are buisness with deathfear"

we just dont know what happens to us after death so there rised different "fairytales" about hell,heaven, rebirth, etc...
if you get lucky with this stories, do it. but get awake if somebody wants money from you for telling this stories.

The 11th is meaningless. Cats don't need a saviour. They wouldn't even regard the first 10 as commandments - using common sense doesn't need commanding.

Looks good, but shouldnt there be something about sex in there also?

*nods* could probably go with that

Ah...if only it were true. What an interesting change-up in the structure Taral. I wonder if anyone could be convinced of the senseless nature of the original ten? I mean, it begs the question, "They had to write it down?"

I always seem to get thrown out of churches and temples anyway because I get people to question their own faith..... Plus I scare them when I can make the holy water boil when I touch it....

Mrs. Cake!

Huh?

Nono, the next savior will be Raptor Jesus.

W
ell, at least Satan isn't all emo like that Jeebus fella.

*blown away* In all seriousness, this is one of the smartest bits of gentle satire I've seen in years. I love every word. You are a supergenius.

Wow. Just... wow.

Quite similar to what I've written, too =D

That's great. I may be wiccan, but I believe this is the more accurate 10 commandments

I think your grasp of theology is quite lacking.

Why thank you!

Something called the Halo Effect, where drivers stop misbehaving and actually obey the traffic laws when a police car comes prowling among them. It has occured to me that a fair number of people will only mind their manners when (they imagine) the supernatural equivalent of a police car is keeping them under observation. When you're dealing with folks who aren't very bright or well-educated, an Invisible Monster in the sky may be the only way to keep them from running amok and hurting other people. But then I read the Bible as a kid the way others might read a Sidney Sheldon novel, so...

Though I rather like your version better - makes more sense and is probably closer to the Original Author's original intent.

Especially #2 (surely a Monty Python reference would not be out place here: "Oh, stop grovelling! If it's one thing I hate, it's people who grovel...")(IIRC)

Anyone who really needs that extra nudge to give up believing in Superman, Santa Claus and God should read some books listed here:

If you can onl read one, it should be this one:

The God Delusion by Richard Dawkings.

The End of Faith (Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason) by Sam Harris.

God Against Gods, Jonathan Kirsch ((a comparison of more "humane" polytheism with intolerant monotheism.))

And one I can't recommend because I haven't read it, but might be worth looking at:

God is Not Great, by Christopher Hitchens.

Thank you for this work. Congratulation on the G.O.H. too!

While I have a few disagreements, I like the overall theme of using the minds that God gave us, especially in matters of religion. I wouldn't mind seeing Commandments 4 and 8 added to the existing ten.

The only thing about the bible I find very convincing is the claim that nobody can know the mind of Gawd. Why is it then that the people who run organized religions worldwide all claim to know *exactly* what Gawd intends for our dinner menus, hair style, home decor, hem lines, etc?

... sits back.. see's your picture.. imagines how you came to envishion it and how the world in general does need something like this as a good slap to the head with a 'clue by 4' to make them understand..

.. and just relaxes.. gets you something to drink and eat.. (comfort food indeed)... and quietly applauds your wonderful insight and beautifully worded objection to how the 'modern religion' is supposed to be our meat, bread, potatoes and 'guiding light'.

Pretty good, though I am not into this type of thing. I kinda like these 'rules' a bit more. Heh.

I like #11. Makes me think we're due for a long-haired cat who talks like he might have had too much of the 'nip, but preaches rubbing up against all creatures.

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inheret the earth.
Blessed also are those who lie upon the doorways of homes where the humans are sure to trip over them. They'll inheret the earth too because that sh*t is HILLARIOUS!"
- From the Sermon on the Mount (actually a pile of socks)

"Thou shalt not squint" failed to make the list again, I see.

You probably missed it because you didn't squint.

This is some funny stuff. I respect your views on the world, because they reflect your ideas and thoughts, and I see you are looking for a better world with less control by the oppressions of 'the man'. I can understand why you think the original commandments could use adjustment, but I enjoy them the way they are. But, I found your version very entertaining.

The way I look at it, the Old Commandments are as much about keeping the tribe together, about the pecking order, and forbidding foreign influences. Only the other half are about decent behaviour. In the modern era we desparately need to be open minded and less concerned with fostering emnity with everyone else.

Bravo.

That is so beautiful. I love it and should frame it.

that's a keeper. nice work.

fuken amen

"Ten Commandmants were a manifesto of self-serving demands and noxious orders"

As much as I enjoyed (and agree with) your new version, I don't agree with your comment above.

The first 4 comandments are no different that a parrent telling their children, "I am your parrent, not the guy next door. I brought you into this world and gave you all these cool things so show a little respect, okay?"

1) "Thou shalt have no other gods before me."
2) "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image,"
3) "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain;"
4) "Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy."

The rest of the commandments are pretty much good attitude/morals and/or the law.

5) "Honor thy father and thy mother:"
6) "Thou shalt not kill."
7) "Thou shalt not commit adultery"
8) "Thou shalt not steal."
9) "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."
10) "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house,.....nor anything that is thy neighbor's

In the old testimant, there was no Christ therefore no salvation. Man could only be judged based on their willingness to be obediant to the law, therefore 'laws' had to be established. Sort of like putting the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the garden. God wasn't trying to be a prick. We have free will but what is free will without 'decision'.

When it comes to all the other man written laws in in the old testimant, many of those were put in place not to be difficult but to prevent the spread of disease (ie, mixing certain foods, touching dirty pigs, washing yourself after masterbating <and yes, it references masterbation as being okay> and lying with another man as a woman)

The new testiment provides 'salvation' and Jesus pretty much did away with the 10 commandments by saying pretty much what you wrote above, <Wookiee translation> "You people have brains! Use them!"


Lastly...

The above reply is my opinion. I did not post this to begin a debate as to who is right or wrong or to the existance of god so I won't be reading or responding to any replies. I tried that in the past and it served no purpose.

See reply above, to Heyokitty.

Why do I have the sudden urge to get up, print this out, go to kinkos, make a million copies, sell everything I own, and distribute these with the money from selling said stuff? Its about damn time someone made some good rules. I think you were channeling him (And I'm a freaking athiest XD)

You know, I actually considered the same myself. Well, except the sell everything I own part, which meant I could maybe have afforded 37 copies, and then stapled them to telephone poles. However, I'm always happy to make a loyal disciple feel usefull by sacrificing his happiness and welfare instead of mine.

This wins...a lot.

'tis too bad that, as they say, common sense isn't. Much wisdom here though.

Holy cats! ;D

Wow, I must say, this is delightfully fresh and enjoyable.

I am a devout "nature spiritualist" myself, and I rather detest mainstream religions for condemning other religions. Faith is a belief, a personal interpretation of the world we live in, and in order to make things make sense, it's only natural that we create a being, or beings, that surely MUST know why my wife died, who was the most innocent, loving and undeserving of dying a painful death person I can think of, and lets malicious, evil, hateful beings like say.....Bush...continue to ruin peoples lives and the world in general.

The cat thing only rankles because I am a canid type person, but hey....there is a great pantheon of Dieties out there, find one that suits you, that makes you feel good inside(because for fucks sake, we need someone to make us feel good), and hopefully doesn't ask that in order to worship him/her/hir/bob it's not neccesary to hurt or kill or exclude other people from your daily life, or thoughts of kindness.

I like this. Fukken' Saved.

Also, could females in general have larger breasts? Thanks. :)

Oh, one more thing, that whole "be fruitful and multiply" thing? I think they got that one covered........you can stop now.


Srsly.

Hey, wow! A subjective new look at the ten commandments! Something encouraging people to think, rather than follow!


Hmm... I must immediately get to work over how to misinterpret these new commandments to exploit all the fools out there so they may do my bidding. It's not going to be quite so easy as last time...

If thou doest not obey my commands to thinketh for yourself, thou wilst suffer the most indescribably agonies and horror in a place of eternal punishment!

Las Vega!

Funny, I've always regarded Vegas as my spiritual home....

these are beautiful, way to go!

Those take too much sense! Religion cannot accept such reasonable demands!

(:P)

Those make too much sense! Religion cannot accept such reasonable demands!

(:P)

Heh. When did the old Ten Commandments EVER work?

I'm pretty sure that when the first royalty check arrived, the scribes all said to themselve's "mission accomplished". It all depends on what you think the ten commandments were supposed to do, and who you believe wrote them.

a great way to look at it!!

I love you.
Seriously. And I'm sure Mr Almighty would agree with every single point.
And I'll show this to one of the few sane Christians I know, and I'm sure she'll agree too.

Great stuff. I'm sure the almighty agrees on all points you made. It's just the stupid middle man that tend to distort things. That's why I can't stand most of those TV preachers. Those people are mostly idiots. Maybe there's a handful of good ones with good advice but the rest are an ocean of morons and deceitful people.

Stroke of genius.

Being an ordained pastor, we'll agree to disagree on a couple of things. For the most part, it isn't bad, and does make some valid points.

There have been several examples of better Ten Commandments posed by people. This is a pretty good set, but I'd have to say that virtually any of them are better than the originals.

The originals were probably dandy for a tribe of a few hundred nomadic goat herders whose main procupations was to have enough children to outnumber their neighbors, and remain different enough to rule out fraternizing.

yyYYYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I don't even believe in 'God' and I like these commandments.

I am the same way.

That was really nice, I fully agree with these ^.=.^

I had a good chuckle. Though number six can almost kill the whole thing.

wow... this makes total sense D:
I wish these had been the original 10.. then maybe I'd be a christian x3

I saw them... didn't make me a Christian, and I was *born* in this society.

I was born christian, then soon found their beliefs to be... insufficient to my needs
plus there's the hardcore christians that scare me away from it..

In my case, my folkds weren't church-going. I didn't grow up having hell-fire and Jesus-loves-you forced down my throat, so that by the time I was old enough to think about it, religion had no hold on my unconscious. It seemed in bad taste *not* to believe, but that wasn't enough to convince me that there was any truth in it either. Finally it just occured to me there was no more reason to believe in a god than there was to believe in phlogistron or the fountain of youth. Why make a special exemption from reason for the subject of reason? Since then I've made no bones about being an atheist.

Um... that should be, "What makes a special exemption from reason for the subject of religion?" -- and even that's not good grammar. I was in a hurry.

*is a little confused, but thinks he got most of it*
I'm Agnostic at the moment :3

Yay cats! ^_^

.....

^^^^^^?

wow....First off i apologize..when i first saw this i thought it was straight up anti christian(that's why i put the "....") Hmmm i don't know about changing them. But you pretty much summed up my beliefs right here. Hell I'm straight up Anglican. But you make a goop point with this. I don't know if i agree with your submissions comments or about 9/10 of the rest of the comments on this but you bring up good points in the submission itself.....
You can smack me as hard as you want for not reading this through all the way. Sorry about that again ^^

...
..
and yes the cats will get the next savior if we mess it up x3

oh and um...sorry about the lengthy comment ^^

No problem. Long and thoughtful comments are the meat & potatoes of FA. I can't say that I expected that the devout would like my New Commandments. If they can think about it with an open mind, then, we all gain. Whether or not one accepts the existence of a god, there's too much about the orthodox that needs re-thinking if a person isn't to abandon all logic and reason as the price of faith. So far as I've been able to tell, most religious people do in fact try to decide for themselves what's a matter of faith for them, and what's just baggage, attatched to religion by churches, or left over from times when people had no idea what made sense.

To me, the inevitable conclusion is that none of it makes sense. Once you start editing stuff out of the bible, there's no reason to leave anything. I becomes entirely without foundation, except a few minor facts such as Tiberius Caesar was a real person, and the kings of Judea once ruled from Jerusalem. (Things we can easily verify from other sources.)

The other approach to belief, unforunately popular in some circles, is to dispose with common sense instead. Such people casually believe in supernatural beings hiding in every bush, and disbelieve in electricty, and it's hard to share a world with them that's looking more and more natural, and less supernatural, every day.

Pure win. These should be the actual 10 commandments, or perhaps added to those that already exist.
And number 11 cracks me up.

This works.

*points finger*
SIN!!!!!!!!!! BLASPHEMY!!!! HERESY!!!!!!!

And I love you! ^^

I became atheist because I noticed that most of people who speak about god, are more interested in using people who trully believe just to feed their hungry mouths and keep their lazy asses even lazier.

For example...
(not for you but for those who WILL misinterpret me on purpose)

Mr.Word of god says "You have to give me 10% of everything or else god will get angry at you" meanwhile, Bob who believes him does what he's told.. does for years and never realizes he's being a dumbass and feeding the laziness of a parazite.. and raises his children to do the same...
and one of his children. Jon, does the same, but he's much more sever than Bob... and raises depressed children, who grow up and ...

Yeah... you can imagine

I BLAME religion for the evil of mankind!

If we hate each other because our differences, skin color, nationality, opinion... Religion is the worst of all, beucase it's not even one's opinion... It's the opinion of one over a mass spreading prejudice and hatred disguised as love...

Oh yeah "god loves you as long as you blindly obey"...

Saara! I'm so glad there are people who broke free from this evil... Woke up... and won't blindly obey superstition.
If there's a god somewhere, he's not that tyrant we're used to think of...
If there's a god, may he bless you and save as many people like you who're willing to wake up from this bad dream.

By the way, did I mention that I became a Mormon last week?

Just kidding... But it may be useful to remind ourselves that "religion" -- in the sense of tending to find metaphysical explanations to the natural world, that fill certain emotional needs humans do have -- and "church," are two different things. "Religion" may be mistaken, but is doubtless a prositive drive in certain ways. It can get us over bad humps, or encourage us to look after the poor. Atheists can do the same, of course, but if it takes a benign lie to get people to behave better, I can't condemn it utterly. (Just shake my head and sigh.)

But "churches" -- defined as institutions to enforce one sort of belief or anothter, and exploit it for a clergy of ambitious, manipulative gangsters -- is another thing. There's down little good that comes of them, when compared to the monstrous evil. For every Mother Teresa there's a prelate demanding homosexuals be castrated, Jew be driven from the country, or war be carried out agains some infidel or other. Which has the biggest impact on history, do you think? I'd put money on Ayatollah Khomeini or Cotton Mather rather than on some ophans who didn't starve. An we must keep in mind that Mother Teresa probably wasn't all that much more charitable to gays than a typical Pope, either.

I agree with you, but I'd change the words Religion to Faith :)

And yes, That's true.

The Dallai Lama said something like.

"Faith is your path to reach god, Just like when you travel, some people go by bus, some by train some on foot, but when they arrive in god they leave their means of transportation."

Religion is just a way to enforce one's beliefs unto others. Something like "AGREE WITH ME OR ELSE GOD WILL GET ANGRY AT YOU CUZ GOD IS MY PAL, NOT YOURS!"

( Religions or Churches ... to your understanding... we have a different understanding of the words religion and church but... Yeah we understand each other anyway) ^^

Hah! Well put.

As a pastor, I can appreciate several of those and take issue with only a couple, but they're pretty much minor issues. I have to admit, it's pretty clever.

#11 reminds me of the billboard signed by God that said, "Keep using My name in vain, and I'll make the rush hour longer"

What happens when rush hour is 24 hours long? Slow down the rotation of the Earth so it can get longer, or release a plague of warts on Mankind?

I'm not quite sure how to take that.

In good humour, I hope.

I only meant that human nature, being what it is, is going to swear no matter what God wants or does, short of wiping us off the face of the planet. So what would be his next step? He can't make rush hour last longer than the day is long, so perhaps he could make the day longer?
Or step it up a notch, from traffic snarls to minor cosmetic inconveniences.

Now those are the words of a deity I would consider worshiping. Well done!

And I don't appear on TV to sell Ten Tribes of Israel ash trays, King Solomon toilet bowl cleaners, or black velvet paintings of Elvis meeting Jesus in Heaven. You just send your money to me directly, and I bless you.

FSM bless you, reverent!

The Federal Communications Commision likes me too. At least the FCC hasn't investigated me yet, unlike some evangelical "churches."

I love all these. :D it'd be awesome if they came to be.

but I can't help think that the 8th is a bit ironic :P

I am completely unable to fathom why I hadn't fav'd this until now. I suppose I assumed I already had!

exodus 20:2-20:17

2 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; 3you shall have no other gods before* me.

4 You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, 6but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation* of those who love me and keep my commandments.

7 You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.

8 Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy. 9For six days you shall labour and do all your work. 10But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. 11For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and consecrated it.

12 Honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

13 You shall not murder.*

14 You shall not commit adultery.

15 You shall not steal.

16 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.

17 You shall not covet your neighbour’s house; you shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.
The original and better ones. /this "Art" is sick

The feeling is mutual, I suspect.

oh really?? Saw this floating around the Net ages ago, loved it. Closer crop around the book, so, of course, no author or signature.

Definitely the original ... complete with my typos.