Now, this is a dream that I recall with disgusting amount of details and yet I just couldn't paint something better for it and that pisses me off so much I am still thumbnailing ways to better express what I felt and what I still feel about it.

In the dream, I was in a care house in the middle of fucking nowhere with other people, presumably sick. Outside, there was a snow storm, because for some reason my mind likes snow, even though I have never seen snow in my entire life. I was dressing a light long sleeve shirt, sweatpants and I was barefooted, sitting by a window and looking outside. A nurse came and told me to get away from the window, otherwise I would get sick. I begrudgingly left the window. By the fireplace, I saw my best friend Luiza, sitting there with a bunch of cats. She looked happy, comfortable, fulfilled even.

Then I heard outside, a pack of wolves howling. I ran to the window again and tried to howl back [yes, I know, pretty pathetic for a human to try to howl to wolves], but the nurse came and pulled me away from the window. I ran to the door, and he grabbed me and dragged me away from the door, saying it wasn't good for me, I would get sick. I looked at him and said "Why can Luiza stick to her family but I can't??", and I looked at her... She was staring at me with dark eyes, and her shadow was a massive cat. She spoke, but I knew the words came from the cat

"Kill the Jailer. Release the spirit"

I fought the nurse, kicking and thrashing, and I finally managed to escape him and ran through the door, shuffling in the snow, trying to reach the wolves, as their howls got further and further from me. I finally reached them. The pack was about to leave, leading them was a huge, white female. I hugged her, my fingers immediately clenching around her neck fluff.

"Mother, please, don't leave me behind" I said. She nuzzled me and let out a soft bark, almost like a "follow, don't linger". Despite being ill equipped to survive the cold, being barefoot and wearing a light shirt, I wasn't cold. The wind nor the snow bothered me.

I still think a LOT about this dream. Today I can recognize the who the nurse is. Who the "Mother" is. And why it was preferable to face the perils of a cold, stormy night than staying inside the care house. Dreams are so interesting. They always make me think how much of them is actually a message and how much is just the brain farting around.

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