Me: "Bandit, get down from there."

Bandit: "Why?"

Me: "I'm trying to work."

Bandit: "And I'm helping you!"

Me: "Fine, but you'd better not get me in trouble."

Bandit: "Sure thing, I'll be polite."

Customer: "Hi, can I have-"

Bandit: "Can you fuck off, please?"

Me: "Bandit!"

Bandit: "What? I said please!"

Customer: "I want to speak to a manager!"

Me: "Why did I think this was a good idea..."