omg mike and melissa... i hadn't even known of them until a week or two ago, and i've since tagged along rewatching it at least half a dozen times with various friends. i've contemplated making fan art; i hope they still love

Yessssss!!! Please make fanart!! Idk why Mike and Melissa is this little obsession of mine, there's something more... fascinating about it compared to other kind of like, "cringe" things that other people upload, almost a kind of unintentional but also intentional character study aspect? I say this with more conviction having read the supposed leaked scripts that exist (which for reasons I can elaborate on sometime, I'm pretty convinced are real), cause with those leaked scripts there's this kind of level of like, self awareness but also not self awareness. It's kind of like, these plots about him trying to struggle through his internal issues and even his ego, but he still thinks he's better than most other people on some level. There's even one script talking about the struggle and internal self hatred in trying to create the titular animation that got infamous, and in a way I almost feel bad, cause he both has a massive level of self hatred about his own ability, the problems of procrastination and not being able to stay consistent enough to sit down and hone his ability, but also still an ego about it with talks of becoming famous and being on TV and that it's not *that* bad, but also some level of acceptance that it's not gonna be perfect but will be proud to at least get it done.

And in a way it really did got me thinking about my own situation, which not like I don't already get stuck in my own head too much, but it really did feel relatable in some way, like really just, pinpoint sometimes, that I have the same issues and struggles he does with creativity and ego and procrastination and such. Maybe I'm more socially self aware, maybe I'm smarter, maybe I don't fall into an anti-intellectualism about art (even though clearly the art and film he has to learn about in his class has some kind of profound affect on him, but he seems unable to recognize that on a deeper level, dismissing attempts at deeper analysis, despite it being special to him in some form), maybe I know how to present myself better than to ever think of showing a classroom an animation of my self insert masturbating, but at the end of the day, I can't try to claim I'm massively better than Mike, even if my ego tells me I am. I have his same issues, I am also a neurodivergent furry attempting to present herself artistically online with some form of self expression, even at the lack of a real, proper ability or skill. I'm in the same exact fucking boat with uploading these really piss poor sketches onto my account, knowing they're not good, but egotistically trying to get validation for their existence, but also that acceptance that they aren't good and that's okay and I can improve. But will I ever actually improve? Will I ever actually be able to put in the effort to consistently practice and get better? It's only a matter of time and if I can get past my ego, to make art for myself instead of as quick ways to feel validation from friends and strangers. I make something shitty with no real attempt to go back and work on it, they are mini vehicles to feel some form of validation to combat my self hatred.

In a certain way, I have to conclude that, there's probably many people like Mike out there, but Mike put himself into an unlikely scenario, to win the unfortunate lolcow lottery. In a way, Mike isn't even special to many other that exist online. I hope he's doing well in life, and seemingly, from the very trace existence of him to be online (look up "Talking Sh!t with Phil Ampersand Mike" on Internet Archive), he seems to be doing okay with friends who support him.

Like the Magician who disappears from no one
He speaks until his lies become sound
Like the Magician disappears and never reappears