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I've had a couple of people express worry about my mental state after reading these and would like to point you here if you want a proper breakdown on how I'm doing: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10972051/ But the short answer is, I'm actually doing okay. These comics are just me getting out some things I wish I'd been strong enough to say when I was younger.
This comic was inspired by a nasty message my (golden child) sister sent me that started with the words, "We love you" and ended with "Fuck you, bitch. I hope you die alone." She'd just bailed out of jail and needed someone to kick to make herself feel better. After some thought I realized that she finally got to experience one of those endless "You're a stupid lazy failure!" lectures I used to take when my mom probably bailed her out. What on the surface was her telling me how I ruined the family by my departure was her emulating my mother because she isn't emotionally mature enough to handle her feelings like an adult and needed to hurt someone to make herself feel better, and at the time I, despite being 1500 miles away, was the only available target. But what she was actually doing was trying to make me feel guilty for leaving her to take the abuse I used to take. My response to that is that nobody is making her stay. The door I walked out of is still open and right there. The only problem is that it means that when you do, you need to also cut all financial dependence ties to the narc as well and I think my sister (who is older) just isn't willing to detach from that little financial teat just yet.
And you know what? That's NOT my problem.
This comic was inspired by a nasty message my (golden child) sister sent me that started with the words, "We love you" and ended with "Fuck you, bitch. I hope you die alone." She'd just bailed out of jail and needed someone to kick to make herself feel better. After some thought I realized that she finally got to experience one of those endless "You're a stupid lazy failure!" lectures I used to take when my mom probably bailed her out. What on the surface was her telling me how I ruined the family by my departure was her emulating my mother because she isn't emotionally mature enough to handle her feelings like an adult and needed to hurt someone to make herself feel better, and at the time I, despite being 1500 miles away, was the only available target. But what she was actually doing was trying to make me feel guilty for leaving her to take the abuse I used to take. My response to that is that nobody is making her stay. The door I walked out of is still open and right there. The only problem is that it means that when you do, you need to also cut all financial dependence ties to the narc as well and I think my sister (who is older) just isn't willing to detach from that little financial teat just yet.
And you know what? That's NOT my problem.
Category Artwork (Digital) / Comics
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 700 x 1031px
File Size 320.6 kB
Listed in Folders
Despite my mother's issues, after one of her injuries she fell down the stairs, injuring her arm which rendered her incapable of going upstairs to her bed or bathroom and she required far more care than I could give her. I had to read my mom a riot act, my mom was fiercely protective of her independence. years prior I told her I would rather live on the streets than live with her again.
Once she lost her ability to care for her, I told her. I had to take steps to ensure I could keep my current home leaving me with a choice, I could come stay with her, sacrafice my home and when she no longer needed me, I end up living on the streets. Or I could keep my home and let her wallow in her own filth. And my choice was keeping my home.
It was then, and only then she finally admitted to her self. "I have reached the point I can no longer care for myself even with my son's help." And she finally went into a nursing home, one we both trusted thankfully. it was at that point, and only that point once I knew she was in good hands that after that I could live my life without her intruding constantly.
Once she lost her ability to care for her, I told her. I had to take steps to ensure I could keep my current home leaving me with a choice, I could come stay with her, sacrafice my home and when she no longer needed me, I end up living on the streets. Or I could keep my home and let her wallow in her own filth. And my choice was keeping my home.
It was then, and only then she finally admitted to her self. "I have reached the point I can no longer care for myself even with my son's help." And she finally went into a nursing home, one we both trusted thankfully. it was at that point, and only that point once I knew she was in good hands that after that I could live my life without her intruding constantly.
You know...someone summed it up pretty well in a Twitter post or something that I saw recently.
Our generation is so cut off from the traditional signifiers of "adulthood" (A home that belongs to us, a longterm career, regular medical care) that we have had to come up with our own signifiers. We've had to turn inwards to find them, and use mental health, kindness towards others, and the ability to deal with our problems or seek help when we can't, as signifiers that we are now adults.
And the people we used to look up to as "adults" do not meet those standards. And so, we view the elderly as childish.
Our generation is so cut off from the traditional signifiers of "adulthood" (A home that belongs to us, a longterm career, regular medical care) that we have had to come up with our own signifiers. We've had to turn inwards to find them, and use mental health, kindness towards others, and the ability to deal with our problems or seek help when we can't, as signifiers that we are now adults.
And the people we used to look up to as "adults" do not meet those standards. And so, we view the elderly as childish.
So true. She's an adult with her own set of choices to examine & make and it was never your responsibility to step in and spare her the hard work of having to face those things. that said, I'm so happy for you that things have been going smoother and that putting these out has been helping with the process. there's so much truth & empowerment in these but also a lot that just.. hurts my heart to see for you as well. {:/ I'm rlly glad you're at a place where it's easier to recognize that you deserve much better because you absolutely do <3
This was inspired by a much angrier letter my sister send several years back which seemed to be her angry that I left and blaming me for everyone's problems because I left. After thinking about it I realized that she was imitating my mother and trying to force me back into the scapegoat role because she was mad that suddenly she had to take my mom's garbage when I used to be the one to. But she can walk away any time she wants... it just means no more paychecks from mom if she does and I guess those are more important.
...I am so glad they all live 1500 miles away.
(PS, still so glad I got to see you at Megaplex! Please tell Juno I'd love to see more art from them!)
...I am so glad they all live 1500 miles away.
(PS, still so glad I got to see you at Megaplex! Please tell Juno I'd love to see more art from them!)
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