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I have a few of these brewing around in my mind. I've been in therapy for about a year now and it brings a lot of unpacked things to the front. I also have a lot of friends who were similarly abused, and this was one of the lines I'd hear.
But "I had it worse!" means that they know what they're doing is abusive, but somehow it's okay because it wasn't as 'bad' as they had it or 'It's how I was taught to do it!" But the admission of "I had it worse!" also admits that they're fully aware that what they're doing is bad and abusive. They just ignore that truth or justify it in their heads.
Also I use a bird because I have no idea what fursona my family would have and don't really care to experiment. Birds are mean looking and pointy so they scowl the best. That's why I picked a bird.
But "I had it worse!" means that they know what they're doing is abusive, but somehow it's okay because it wasn't as 'bad' as they had it or 'It's how I was taught to do it!" But the admission of "I had it worse!" also admits that they're fully aware that what they're doing is bad and abusive. They just ignore that truth or justify it in their heads.
Also I use a bird because I have no idea what fursona my family would have and don't really care to experiment. Birds are mean looking and pointy so they scowl the best. That's why I picked a bird.
Category Artwork (Digital) / Comics
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 707 x 1031px
File Size 412.5 kB
Listed in Folders
hugs you back.
i went through shit from parents, families, bullies, and such. pushed down or tripped then not helped...being morally harrassed alongside physical hits...
the same way I swore to never share what lies inside of me to others, I swore to not do the same to others and not stay on the side if it happens when I am seeing it...
i went through shit from parents, families, bullies, and such. pushed down or tripped then not helped...being morally harrassed alongside physical hits...
the same way I swore to never share what lies inside of me to others, I swore to not do the same to others and not stay on the side if it happens when I am seeing it...
They don't have that kind of self awareness, or are so angry and spiteful as a consequence of their abuse that they don't care. They have a chip on their shoulder so big it becomes their whole personality and all they can do is show it to others in the form of the same abuse they suffered, because it's all they can think about and feel. It's tragic.
(Edited in) To step outside your own trauma, look at it for what it is, and decide to treat others better than how you were treated takes a strength those type of people don't know they have. They're unwilling to face their own trauma, and instead, carry it on their back like a weapon aimed at everyone in fear of being treated the same way. "Attack first and ask questions later" as a personality.
(Edited in) To step outside your own trauma, look at it for what it is, and decide to treat others better than how you were treated takes a strength those type of people don't know they have. They're unwilling to face their own trauma, and instead, carry it on their back like a weapon aimed at everyone in fear of being treated the same way. "Attack first and ask questions later" as a personality.
In the end... we choose our own monsters.
Nobody asks for or deserve to be abused. Least of all someone like you, Gen. But what happens when you are an abuse survivor?
You have a basic choice to make. You can get help and try to break the generational cycle of abuse. Or you can *choose* to believe that abuse is normal, healthy, an ordinary part of growing up, and take out all your trauma on your kid, your wife, anyone close to you. You choose to be a monster. The abuse, the trauma... that never is a choice. But how you choose to cope with it... THAT is a choice. And from this comic, I think you know that, Gen. Too bad your family doesn't seem to.
Nobody asks for or deserve to be abused. Least of all someone like you, Gen. But what happens when you are an abuse survivor?
You have a basic choice to make. You can get help and try to break the generational cycle of abuse. Or you can *choose* to believe that abuse is normal, healthy, an ordinary part of growing up, and take out all your trauma on your kid, your wife, anyone close to you. You choose to be a monster. The abuse, the trauma... that never is a choice. But how you choose to cope with it... THAT is a choice. And from this comic, I think you know that, Gen. Too bad your family doesn't seem to.
My mom had it worse than me, but I only know because of the stories I've heard from her childhood. She's never once said she had it worse, and I honestly don't think she even realizes what horrors she's been passing on. And I just desperately hope that if I ever have kids, I can be aware enough to not pass the same neglect on to them.
Me being the oldest out of us kids “I did have it worse” than my siblings but I seen my mother pick herself up off the floor many times, by her boyfriend (back in the mid 90’s)
I didn’t meet my real dad until I was 25. He’s not abusive—he just gets on my nerves at times. x.x
Whenever I talk to others or the subject comes up I often say, “I had it pretty bad most of my life. I mean, I’ve been through Hell so many times the devil could offer me a job as a tourist guide.”
So here I am looking forty in the face in a few months and being thankful I never got married and or had kids.
Why?
I know some child hood friends I often sat behind in class who had it worse than me, and I don’t want to risk my kids going through what I or them went through.
Sounds selfish of me…however I’ve seen what my youngest nieces have gone through with their parents (none abusive) and I don’t want that—for anybody.
I didn’t meet my real dad until I was 25. He’s not abusive—he just gets on my nerves at times. x.x
Whenever I talk to others or the subject comes up I often say, “I had it pretty bad most of my life. I mean, I’ve been through Hell so many times the devil could offer me a job as a tourist guide.”
So here I am looking forty in the face in a few months and being thankful I never got married and or had kids.
Why?
I know some child hood friends I often sat behind in class who had it worse than me, and I don’t want to risk my kids going through what I or them went through.
Sounds selfish of me…however I’ve seen what my youngest nieces have gone through with their parents (none abusive) and I don’t want that—for anybody.
So true! Especially when you call older people out on stuff like racism. They, and their enablers, tend to use their age as an excuse: "That just how I grew up." "That's just the times I grew up in." blah blah blah
One of the greatest things I've ever heard a therapist say is something they usually tell parents of extremely disobedient children, and they had to start using it for adults as well, "Age is no excuse for bad behavior."
One of the greatest things I've ever heard a therapist say is something they usually tell parents of extremely disobedient children, and they had to start using it for adults as well, "Age is no excuse for bad behavior."
On the other hand, we have people who are cancelling Doctor Seuss because of work he did 50 to 70 years ago. That was the environment everybody lived in then, for better or worse. Am I making excuses for it? No, but it was a different world then. I know, I lived through it. It's not right today and it's wasn't right then, but we still don't have that 1984 memory hole. You can't change the was so change the is and the will be.
“It’s not like you’re a lioness,” said Maahes, the Warcrofter, Laughing Truncheon, Master of Memphis’ Footsoldiers,
strong and broad, a titan silhouette with a starcore heart, “but rather you’ve developed this lack of leonine anatomical
deficiency.”
"Jospeh Hubbs, Kirlian he, a wolfwise jackal-man alike his sire, incarnate in Sekhmet his Dam's warm retort, thought of
the man who raised him, saw he the fusile, stellar cub of inexplicable resilience among his adoptive kin, and alone never
feared what he saw. Robert Hubbs, Sr., was among the few people he'd ever met, now and long ago, who could not fear
what he saw in his youngest son, for he understood what that terror needed only to do, not locked into shock or in pain
compliance, and the purpose it cannot and must never meet."
-OD-BROTHRER, WHAT ART OF GWAR DRAWS YE FROTH? (2024)
a Tale of the Trick, written by Garth Gilmore (as Jospeh Kirlian).
https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....it?usp=sharing
strong and broad, a titan silhouette with a starcore heart, “but rather you’ve developed this lack of leonine anatomical
deficiency.”
"Jospeh Hubbs, Kirlian he, a wolfwise jackal-man alike his sire, incarnate in Sekhmet his Dam's warm retort, thought of
the man who raised him, saw he the fusile, stellar cub of inexplicable resilience among his adoptive kin, and alone never
feared what he saw. Robert Hubbs, Sr., was among the few people he'd ever met, now and long ago, who could not fear
what he saw in his youngest son, for he understood what that terror needed only to do, not locked into shock or in pain
compliance, and the purpose it cannot and must never meet."
-OD-BROTHRER, WHAT ART OF GWAR DRAWS YE FROTH? (2024)
a Tale of the Trick, written by Garth Gilmore (as Jospeh Kirlian).
https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....it?usp=sharing
I know this all too well.
My mother and I had a similar conversation.
Before she started claiming she had no memory of any of her actions that I brought up.
She has an amazing ability to simply never acknowledge anything bad she has ever done.
My father died two years ago.
There was no point in ever having any kind of conversation with him, because he was completely narcissistic and selfish, and simply did not care about how he had abused me..
We who survived hateful families can only go on with our lives.
We cope as best we can.
-Badger-
My mother and I had a similar conversation.
Before she started claiming she had no memory of any of her actions that I brought up.
She has an amazing ability to simply never acknowledge anything bad she has ever done.
My father died two years ago.
There was no point in ever having any kind of conversation with him, because he was completely narcissistic and selfish, and simply did not care about how he had abused me..
We who survived hateful families can only go on with our lives.
We cope as best we can.
-Badger-
I have indirect evidence (mostly things I've observed and been told) that the bad stuff on my father's side of the family stretches back at least three generations. I'm sure some of it (like addictions) are probably hereditary; some of it was definitely an "inheritance." I'll never know how bad it was for some of them, but I can kind of tell. :|
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