I think having all of these conflicting thoughts and feelings is a perfectly natural reaction to receiving news along those lines.
It doesn't fundamentally change anything about you as a living being, but it'll probably affect your perspective.
And I can't tell you how because as you said, this is your experience, so nobody can really predict that for you.

What I can tell you is, you're in good company here. If you ever need to reach out, there are plenty of people here that will reach back - and you can wait as long as you need to until you're ready, if you ever need it to begin with.

And speaking of which, I'm open to chatting with you about this or any other thing - but I won't be insulted or hurt if you choose not to. Regardless, I hope things get sorted out in a sensible way for you.

I can identify with wanting to be independent as much as possible, even as an autistic person myself, but there's no shame in asking for help when you really need it. It can be hard to be vulnerable, but sometimes it's exactly what you need.

I've actually been diagnosed very early on. Once when I was 2, a second time to verify when I was 17. I've known that I'm autistic for all my life, and grown up with an older neurodiverse brother who has it a bit more challenging than I have (smart dude, but emotionally a mess). The diagnosis didn't give me a solution, but it did give me an answer to some things I had trouble with or found strange. If you look at me nowadays as a thirty-something year old, it's not that obvious that I have autism. If you'd have seen me as a ten year old, it was very obvious. It's just that throughout the years, I managed to adapt, built a mental model of how people and social interactions work and made it intuitive by sheer practice, so, as you could say, I've learned to live with it, despite some things I still have trouble with.

What I can say to you is that you shouldn't let your diagnosis define you. I've seen that happen with my brother and it made him miserable until he stopped doing that. I've accepted for a long time that autism is a part of me which I can't see separate. Without autism, I wouldn't be... well... me. Once you stop focussing on the diagnosis, and start focussing on the practical issues (and more importantly, find ways to solve or mitigate them), that's where you make progress and where you are getting somewhere. And yes, sometimes you need to ask for help for that.

And also, if you want to be happy, don't fear the weird: embrace it. But looking at your art, I think you're already doing that ;)

I've been living with autism since I was four years old, so I've been dealing with it since long before people knew so much about it. It's an aspect of my life that I had tried to hide away for years, but I've come to terms with it in recent time.

If anything, accepting it has helped me become more at peace with myself. I understand why it's so hard for me to talk to people or recognize what's happening. It's also helped me learn to be more patient with others; I'm very patient at the workplace, and I've learned my fellow employees and customers are patient with me - sometimes to a point, but that's neither here nor there.

Remember, people are accepting of you and aren't going to judge you. Autism isn't a strange or foreign thing anymore; if anything, you might be surprised at whole else in your life has autism. Besides, trying to hide the signs of autism only makes life harder, not to mention it becomes mentally exhausting. Believe me, it's a lot easier to be myself than it is to try and cover it up.

Ouch.
Getting told that my mind works in ways that are “not normal” was a bit much for me to handle when I was nine. I am glad to see it being more acceptable as time goes by.