The Story of Our Golden Eyes is an adventure novel that I've been working on. It is told from the point of view of foxes, and -although it takes place in the real world- I use the folklore and mythology that I've been developing alongside the main story to aim for a "magical realism" feel.
This is the fourth chapter, the other chapters can be found here: https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery.....r-Golden-Eyes/

And this is it. Here's where things really go down, I know it's been a slow burn up till this point but now that the inciting incident happens things should hopefully pick up. Also, this is only the first draft. I might cut or rewrite somethings later on, specifically with the beginning.
I hope you enjoy it. Critiques are always welcome.
---


Chapter 5
Like Rotting Fruit

“The sweetest of berries often grow right beside the bitterest ones.”
-An old fox saying.

Nothing in the entire Sleepy Maples excited Brenna’s kits more the blueberry bush. Its coveted fruit was the one thing that they enjoyed unanimously –and the only thing Rikki was willing to wholeheartedly agree with El about. The sweetness of the berries alone made a delectable treat, but the addition of a tongue-tickling tartness, and the way the berries popped between the teeth in a small burst of juice made them a food the young foxes couldn’t get enough of. While the bush grew low to the ground, it spread far across the forest’s earth for many foxlengths, the blueberries it yielded standing out amongst the green leaves in myriad clusters like the lesser lights scattered throughout the night sky.

Rikki could hardly keep from running ahead of his mother while traveling to the bush. Brenna had not awoken in the early light as was usual for her, so his mouth had gone far longer without tasting the berries than he was prepared for. He tried prodding her with his nose to rouse her, only to be met with his mother’s breathing and a scolding from El, and the strange, sickeningly-sweet smell hiding among lavender. The Great Light had already crossed the sky’s midpoint by the time they neared their destination. Brenna led the way, her kits, Ms. Holly, and Bright walking alongside,, and, Rikki began to feel like everything was right again. His mother looked far better than she did during the night, and he eagerly wished to have the nauseating fruity odor replaced with the refreshing scent and taste of the juicy berries.

As the group drew ever closer to the bush, Brenna reminded the kits of how they were to behave. “Now remember little ones, the blueberries are not just for foxes, so please try to leave some for the other creatures.”

Five kits murmured out obedient responses. Nova, however, tired of the repetitive command responded flippantly in his eagerness.

“Yeah, yeah. Enough waiting, let’s eat!”

He ran off towards the bush, causing the remaining kits to dash off after him.

Brenna shook her head as she watched her kits attack the helpless berry bush. “What am I going to do with them, Holly?”

“Isn’t that the ever-gnawing question for all mothers?” her friend said. “Though that seems to be more of the poor bush’s problem at the moment. Come on, we better make sure those terrors don’t tear it to shreds.”
~

Rikki’s tail wagged so fast he thought it would fly off his rump. He could’ve torn his part of the bush to bits if he didn’t savor each mouthful of the succulent, tangy berries. More often than not, one thing or another would get him in trouble and he’d have his tail chewed by Ms. Holly while his siblings stuffed their bellies. On rare instances like today, he refused to throw away any bite too hastily, especially when he was one Codi tease away from missing out once again. Ms. Holly was right, he’d been lucky to have done so well during their solo hunt, otherwise…

The kit swallowed, his tail slowing its swishing. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t his fault that Codi could neither take a joke nor keep himself dry, and Twila had chewed his tail for it. What was he supposed to do, keep Codi’s secret until he left to find his own territory? He glanced at his sister desecrating berries at another end of the bush. That bossy cherry on legs almost kept him from his treat. Sure, no harm was done in the end, but it would still be hilarious to watch that bossy high-nose get all flustered. He noticed another fox approaching Twila’s end of the bush. Bright. Perfect. Rikki’s tail picked up speed as he crouched low to the ground and crawled through the berry-littered foliage.

Meanwhile, Twila gobbled down the berries with little mercy, snatching clumps of them in her jaws and devouring them so furiously that she nearly swallowed some of them whole. Licking the remnants of her latest mouthful from her muzzle, she spotted Bright helping himself to the fruit right next to her. Gasping, the cherry-red kit hastily put her tongue back in her mouth, hoping that he hadn’t seen her stuffing her face like a gopher. Sitting up, her back in a slight, dainty curve, she attempted to appear as lithe and vixen-like as she could.

“Oh, hi, Bright.” She said, trying to keep her composure despite the fuzziness in her chest. “These, these blueberries are really tasty aren’t they?”

Twila watched Bright as he swallowed, fascinated that he managed to avoid getting even a single bit of juice on his muzzle.

“They sure are, Twila. Though, I usually seem to only find the sour ones so today, I thought I’d check around where you were. Sorry for crowding you, but you always seem to find the best berries, judging from how eagerly you eat them.”

Twila gasped, horrified that the male kit saw her in such an undignified light. She shoved her face into the bush as shame flushed through her, only to be met with a growling fox leaping out at her.

Rirrrrkahourrrr!

Rikki tackled his sister, making all manner of ghastly growls and snapping his jaws near his sister’s face. Bits of blueberry and juice sprayed from his mouth, flying onto Twila as she screamed –partly from having the senses scared out of her, and partly from the horror of having food refuse land in her fur. Twila shook him off, sending the troublemaking fox geckering to the ground.

“Hee-hee, oh sweeps, Twila. You should have seen your face hee-hee-ha.” Rikki laughed so hard that he could barely stand back up. “And look at you now, who knew cherry’s mixed so well with blueberries hee-hee¬.”

Twila’s ears flattened against the sides of her head, and she grimaced as her left one touched a now-blue-slicked spot of fur. Her heart buzzed in frustration before sinking like a twig in a swamp upon hearing Bright let out a quiet chuckle. Sticky and humiliated, she barked at her brother.

“Rikki! You sk- you skunkrat! You got my fur all sticky!”

Rikki took some more blueberries in his mouth and smacked on them, letting the juice and chewed-up bits flow from his mouth like drool. The kit spoke in a creepy, growly voice as he responded.
“I’m not Rikki. I’m Old Tod, and I’m looking for little kits to steal.”

Twila rolled her eyes. Of all the stupid monsters, her brother had to pick the one that she hated the most. Just the thought of all that slobber made her want to retch. “Well, go be Old Tod somewhere else. If you bother us again, I’ll make sure you don’t taste another blueberry until the next moon.”

Rikki scoffed, and his berry drool splashed his sister’s nose. “Fine, fine. Old Tod wouldn’t want a kit as high-nosed as you anyway.” He caught sight of Rio and Nova at the west end of the bush, and he resumed his growly voice. “Hey, Rio, Nova! Look out! Old Tod’s coming for you!”

He darted past after his brothers, barking and spraying blueberry from his mouth as he went.

Twila huffed and began to work furiously at getting the residue out of her fur. “Ugh, my fur. That Rikki is such a, such a…”

“A skunkrat?” Bright said, raising an eyebrow.

Twila sighed, feeling a little embarrassed at her improvised insult. “Bright, do you think I’m a high-nose?”

Bright bit off a blueberry and chewed on it thoughtfully. “I don’t think a high-nose would let another fox eat some of her sweet blueberries, would she?”

Twila smiled as she nodded her head –which grew fuzzy when Bright started to lick the blue off her face.

~

Rikki chased his two brothers around the bush, his growls mixing with their raucous gekkering. It was difficult keeping up the act during all the excitement, especially when Rio’s stumbling resulted in Nova taking him by the tail. Rikki nearly broke out into laughter upon seeing the larger kit take the scrawny one’s paws out from under him and drag him across the dirt, but the pretend Old Tod managed to persist. He snapped at Rio’s outstretched forepaws and notched ear, deliberately missing –though he came awfully close to an actual bite many a time. Straining his high pitched voice to get as low as possible, Rikki began to sing the song that causes most other kits to shiver in their mudsteps -the black parts of their legs.

Pilib, pilib, goes Old Tod
Beware, all little kits.
Pilip pilib, here comes Old Tod
Take care you don’t get-

Rikki practically swallowed the last part of the song when Holly stepped in front of him, honeyed eyes dark and sharp. The young kit skidded to a stop and looked up at the kitsitter, the look in her eyes almost causing him to shiver.

“Little kits would be wise not to make play of such things.” She said.

“Make play of what?” asked Twila, who had scurried over with Bright to see what the commotion was about.
Rio was the one to pipe up. “I think Ms. Holly means Old T-.”

Holly shushed him, causing Rio to hastily shut his mouth.

“M-m-m-Ms. Holly’s right Rikki.” Codi piped up as he and El convened with the rest. “Or else he’ll c-c-c-c-come to the Sleepy M-m-Maples.”

Bright gave a sneeze of derision. “Come on, Codi, that’s just a dumb story. There’s no such thing as Old-”

Holly shot her son a stern glance, cutting him off without a word.

“Pff, whatever,” Rikki said. “Doesn’t matter. He should be glad he’s not real, ‘cause I’d have him eating his own tail. Right mom?”

Brenna lay on the grass about two to three foxlengths from the bush. She lifted her head to face Rikki and gave him a weak smile.

“As sure as summer heat, Rikki.” She said before laying her head back down.

Rikki held his head high and trotted over to his mother. He circled her prone form. “See, Mom says so. And I’ll show you just how I’d do it too. I’d start right here.”

Coming around to Brenna’s head, Rikki pounced on her, grabbing her ear in his mouth and tugging on it.

“Oh really?” Brenna said, shakily getting to her paws. She tried to speak as deep and scratchy as her tender voice would allow. “Well, little kit, let’s see how brave you are once you feel my jaws.”

She wriggled her ear out of Rikki’s teeth and began snapping at him, taking care to miss as her son taunted his pretend foe. The mother fox’s act broke embarrassingly fast as her sweet-sounding laughter forced the monster out of her, and any further banter was said in her own voice. She soon found herself outnumbered as Nova, Rio, Twila, and even Codi joined in, chasing her and nipping at her legs.

Rikki had to finagle his way around his siblings in order to get in to attack his mother which killed most of the fun he was previously having. As soon as he tried nipping an ear or snagging a clump of fur from her ruff, he would either collide with, be blocked, or even knocked over by one of his siblings. Fed up, the young fox separated from the mob of kits and crept along the grass, slowly positioning himself behind his mother, her tail swaying vulnerably in front of his face. As soon as he had a chance, Rikki caught it in his jaws and began forcefully tugging, his teeth clamping down on it. Brenna let out a yelp, causing the other kits to back away.

“Rikki, that’s too hard. Let go, dear.” She said, but Rikki’s teeth held fast.

“Rikki, I-I mean it, that…that’s enough.”

But the kit wouldn’t let go. He was determined to show them all he could fight a monster.

“Rikki!” Brenna’s voice suddenly started to trail off, causing Rikki to pause his activity. “I told…told you to…”
Rikki stood in place, watching in confusion as his mother started to wobble on her paws, her body slowly leaning to one side then the other. Shocked, he continued to hold onto her tail, horribly entranced by her swaying.

“To...to…oh dear.”

Every fox watched in horror as the vixen’s body fell over like a tree, hitting the ground with a soft, sickening whump.

Ice formed inside Rikki’s veins. His mouth went slack, causing his mother’s tail to mimic her body.

“Mama!” Rikki heard a fox scream. Either Codi or Twila, he couldn’t tell. Soon, all the foxes were gathered in a circle around him and Brenna.

“What did you do?” Nova demanded. “What did you do?”

“I-I just-I- nothing.” Rikki babbled. “I didn’t do anything.”

The next thing Rikki knew, he was on his back with Nova’s forepaws pinning him to the ground.

“Enough, Nova.” El said. “I highly doubt that this is Rikki’s doing. It is more likely that Mother is sick.”

Rikki scrambled to his own paws as Nova’s removed his from his chest. He wanted to snap back at El, let him know that he didn’t need his acorn-head brother to come to his rescue, but the smell of ripe-rotten fruit wormed its way into his nose, causing the words to catch in his throat. He, along with his siblings clustered around their mother only to be swiftly nosed away by Holly.

“Don’t crowd her, little ones. You need to be calm and let your mother breathe.”

Questions and protests assaulted the kitsitter as she worked to keep them away.

“M-m-mama! W-w-why won’t she w-w-wake up?”

“Is Mama going to be alright, Ms. Holly?”

“Sick? Is that why she smells funny, Ms. Holly? What sickness is it? Is Mom gonna give it to us? Is she gonna d-”

“Don’t make the ‘duh’-sound, blabbermouth!”

Owr-rowr-rowr-rowr!

The shrill call from Holly silenced the kits’ commotion and had them planting their hindquarters on the ground. Once everything was quiet, the vixen addressed them, attempting to keep her voice as calm as possible.
“Listen, it won’t do any good to be yipping and yapping. I can try to see what’s going on with your mother, but first we need to get her back to the den where it’s safe. Bright, go get your father.”

Wordlessly, Bright obeyed, and as Rikki watched him run off into the trees he felt his eyes begin to fill with water from the nauseatingly sweet scent coming from his mother.