Some Halfeb stand up. The title being my main line when I do my routine. And here's a few of the jokes to give you a taste.

Lifes rediculous man, I mean, take women for example, I personally, for most women, have always been the "Just a friend" which sucks. Mostly because that translates to, "He's a really nice guy, but, I'd never fuck him." All throughout high school I was like, a professional just a friend. I should have had business cards that read, "Halfeb Jones, Unfuckable, but, a good listener."

In my opinion, women, if you're hearing this, if you are single and you have a straight guy who is "just a friend." Date that guy. This is a guy who, not only will listen to your whiny shit, but, will stick around afterwards too! And you can always tell who in the crowd is just a friend when you say that joke, because they'll be sitting there with thier female friend lughing but the second she looks away you get them with a longing look in thier eye mouthing "I love you." "What?" "Nothing." Its so rediculous.
I'm actually very lucky at the moment, I found a woman who, well, is willing to put up with my crap. And, the best thing is, we both want to have kids, which rocks. But, it kinda concerns me about kids because they always blame thier perants for screwing them up, but, shit guys, thats what perants do. Hell I want to have kids, just to see how badly I can screw them up. Like my perants did with me. For example, when I was like, five years old. My perants thought it would be a good idea to get Gremlins, you know, the movie Gremlins, for me to watch. They were all like, "Here you go, sit down and watch this nice movie. twenty minutes later, "AAARGH!!" I'm kicking and screaming, hidding under a blanket. And, thats the best thing, because its the screwed up people that are the most interesting, and thats not funny, cause its fucking true.
Ugh, yeah, so, I like kids. I used to work around them a fair bit too because I worked at Seaworld here on the Gold Coast. But, they had these rediculous motivational posters around the staff area, and, they would have these scary messages but, underneth, they would have pictures of like, attractions and animals in the park. So, it was like they were saying, "Don't set yourself on fire, here's some penguins." Or, "Try not to slash yourself with the knives, now watch this happy family on a roller coaster." It's rediculous.

lol, thanks FA, you've been a wonderful audience.

Art ©  takunakki
Halfeb & jokes ©  halfeb_the_dingo