Crim was so happy he had defeated the Mama of Cooking. So happy, in fact, that he decided he would tell his best friend Ducky about it. And so little Crim waltzed to Ducky's house and walked right in without even knocking or even opening the door.

He protruded into Ducky's room only to find his friend masturbating his life away. Crim spun the chair 720 degrees and screamed, "I BEAT THE FINAL BOSS OF COOKING MAMA 2!"

Ducky's eyes became furious. "There isn't a final boss of Cooking Mama 2," Ducky started. And as those words went in and out of Crim's ears, a sad look befell his face.

"You mean, all of my 10 years have been a lie?" Crim asked with hope and pride, only to have Ducky nod these emotions away. Terrible, Crim said, "Aw shit, man."

Ducky's eyes grew three times their unoriginal size and he seized towards Crim. "You fool," Ducky choked. "Don't invoke the word of...Shitman..."

A sinister being Shitman is inside, and the mere mention of his name will summon him to the material plane where he may unleash untold havoc among its people.

Realizing the fatal mistake he had finally made, a fat ass tear fell from Crim's brow as Shitman reared around the corner to see who had granted him a free ride from his prison.

We don't talk about Shitman.