Vent Post: I am not okay... at all...
I'm just not doing ok... the depression spikes are getting worse everyday and I can't fake that I'm ok every time I greet someone
we all have our problems but I feel mine are just less.... important...
all those words in the background.... those are my emotional scars..... things people had said to me through my life.... even words that hurt me when I tried to gain confidence in my art.... treated my problems as a joke, or as my family would put it "Me being autistic".... that seriously hurt me, I've spent all my life thinking I'm worthless, useless and weak, not capable of doing anything right, no matter what that was....
Eventually leading me to believe that I was not worth a thing and with the enormous amount of talented artists out there, it wouldn't matter if I was gone... this has been my burden for the longest of times for over 15 years of my 24 years of life.... I've felt that no matter how much I studied, practiced and improved.... I would never be a good artist or character designer or webcomic artist and writer....
This... this post is to tell my true feelings... to say I'm not Ok, and I felt like a visual representation of how I felt would be more conveying than just a journal....
I hope everyone understands why I have stopped posting and drawing as a whole for the past months....
we all have our problems but I feel mine are just less.... important...
all those words in the background.... those are my emotional scars..... things people had said to me through my life.... even words that hurt me when I tried to gain confidence in my art.... treated my problems as a joke, or as my family would put it "Me being autistic".... that seriously hurt me, I've spent all my life thinking I'm worthless, useless and weak, not capable of doing anything right, no matter what that was....
Eventually leading me to believe that I was not worth a thing and with the enormous amount of talented artists out there, it wouldn't matter if I was gone... this has been my burden for the longest of times for over 15 years of my 24 years of life.... I've felt that no matter how much I studied, practiced and improved.... I would never be a good artist or character designer or webcomic artist and writer....
This... this post is to tell my true feelings... to say I'm not Ok, and I felt like a visual representation of how I felt would be more conveying than just a journal....
I hope everyone understands why I have stopped posting and drawing as a whole for the past months....
Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 2352 x 1567px
File Size 1.92 MB
I know for sure this kind of upbringing would DESTROY me. So take it from someone who’s possibly had some of the same pushbacks growing up, but had a mostly supportive social circle: regardless of what other people have told you, your potential is always there. It just takes the right assistance to utilize it effectively… including people who can understand you. However, given that you’ve been demeaned constantly during your most important mental developmental stages puts you at a disadvantage.
It would take rebuilding your social circle to fight back the damage that has been caused to you. Hopefully you can find it, but that’s all I can say.
It would take rebuilding your social circle to fight back the damage that has been caused to you. Hopefully you can find it, but that’s all I can say.
FA+

Comments