Illustration for my series of books "Smoldering Hell", for the seventh book ("Smoldering Hell 7: Burning Paradise. 99 names of the God" author.today/work/160832 ).

The whole series of books : author.today/work/series/11980

The painting "The Grieving God".

Yahweh the Speaking, Yahweh Elohim, YHWH, Jehovah Pantocrator, the real Creator of All Existing, created by the Absolute Eheye in the Chokmah the sephira as the personification of himself. The throne in the middle of the throne room, the Heavenly Palace of the God (Heykhalot) in Aravot, on the seventh Heavenly level.

As I mentioned earlier, this is a real God, whom I observed both in my own visions and in memories from my spiritual memory - that is, I saw Him with my own eyes in Heaven before my fall, when I was cherubim and one of the two rulers of the Order of Grigori ("Observers"), yes I saw with Him and after, already being an archdemon. I perfectly remember the fading, strange colorlessness of the palace of God, the Heyhalot, Its chambers, corridors, halls and rooms - shades of gray there mostly, as if there are no other colors there; but there are also rooms filled with whiteness, and, on the contrary, corners and nooks are dark, where light especially does not fall. I remember Him, great in stature, sitting on the throne, and the incredible power emanating from Him, such that it is about to knock down; and his voice is unhuman, booming, rattling, as if it contains many, many facets of echoes, giving orders roughly. I remember a lot of things, and I described a lot in my chronicles, but the series of these books is not finished, because I have a lot to say.

The scene I depicted in the drawing was drawn by the moment from my book, and also at the same time I reflected something else in this scene: the grief of the God for human, for the world He created. Because no matter how Yahweh struggles to make people prefer holiness to sin, and material goods – spiritual, degradation – all kinds of development, and destruction – creation, no matter how much the world is destroyed, humanity chooses the same path, killing God in itself, choosing laziness of spirit, body and mind, but no longer hearing the voice of God in the heart, speaking to everyone not with lips, but with intuition, love and conscience. In the drawing, I depicted the grief of a Father rejected by his own sons and daughters, a father whose heart will always ache for his child, no matter what path he chooses for himself.

But make no mistake, thinking that He is a caring and merciful daddy. No, the God Yahweh is a tyrant, a rapist, an egoist and a dictator, that's why Satanael (now Satan) fell with others in his time, and God keeps the angelic people in fear, and once held the human peoples too, until he recalled the heavenly ships from the firmament of the earth and issued a decree on non–interference in earthly life. Why do you weep, Oh God, if man is created in your image and likeness?..


<...> " — So what am I talking about ... — said Yahweh the Speaking, raising his eyes to the diagrams and graphs, which were controlled by skillful ghostly hands. — When there was no one but nothing before Us... how would We have been born then? Yes, whose voice is still coming from My heart? From the heart of every living and reasonable person in this world. If there was no one before us, then where would that darkness come from? Where are the limits of that darkness... Who's behind them?

The Watching stopped the flight of his hands again, lowered his hands thoughtfully, and then turned to his brother.

— Well, if I tell you... — he said, raising his eyes to the Speaking, - ...that indeed You are not the Absolute First... What will you answer me, brother?

—Nonsense!! — the Speaking suddenly became enraged at once, a terrible power and fierce anger flashed from him. — I am the Absolute!! I am!! — he waved his hands, poked his chest with his finger, barked, staring at the Watching: — And no one dares to doubt it, no one, no one!!

He said so and turned around, walked away angrily, hurried out of the hall, waving his arms angrily on the move and looking angrily before him.

When the entrance door closed behind him with a booming noise, the Watching sighed, looked calmly after the unfortunate, shook his head, looked at the Sitting, that he was in a "wheelchair" with impressive wheels. He paused a little, and then he showed a picture of images above his head: lightning flashed, eating fire, from the clouds crowded together, the color of heavy, but it calmed down immediately, and a sad rain poured from those clouds, sprinkling the earth with its tears.

The Watching nodded in agreement to this, did not answer anything out loud, turned away to the diagrams again.

...In raging anger, the Speaking broke into the throne room, marched to his throne, sat down gloomily, propped his head with his fist viciously, burning with hot anger. And then, after a minute or two, he suddenly closed the invisible face with his hand sorrowfully, leaning on the armrest as before, and sobbed desperately, deafly, in the silence and emptiness of the throne room." <…>

It is also worth mentioning an important song that I listened to on repeat while I was drawing: Slot - Norm. And although the song sings about the local realities, it is extremely similar to what is happening in Heaven under the rule of Yahweh.

And here I posted my verse (the lyrics of the song), in which I told about God and about my experiences (in Russian): stihi.ru/2023/02/28/7515