VERY late Christmas collab with  Mallardent! Yeah I got busy with stuff, but glad I could finally finish this. This story includes Jam, Mallard's Felgar, and Disney's Cheshire Cat! Quite a good combo, I must say. Art by Felgs, story by me!

Story:

It was Christmas Day, a time for festivities and gift-giving. It was not just a time of joy, but also one of love. Of course, this didn't stop dark forces from encroaching upon this most hallowed of holidays. For little did a certain monkey realize that a pair of evils were fast approaching him...


Jam was in his lab on that fateful day, enjoying the Christmas festivities. Little did Jam know, he was being watched by a feisty and ferocious feline. As Jam was sipping on his eggnog, the being appeared before him in a cloud of smoke. "It is I..."


Jam narrowed his eyes, "Come on, at least me finish my drink first, Fel-"


The being shushed Jam as the smoke cleared, revealing a striped purple cat,"...The Cheshire Cat!"


Jam scratched at his head in confusion, "Wait, what are you doing here?! It's usually Felgar who hassles me around the holidays, not random Disney characters!"


Cheshire Cat smiled and pulled his head off, before proceeding to stand on his head, "Felgar you say? That's a name with no sway! The only trickster here is a cat and that's that!"


Jam crossed his arms, "Look, I'm not in the mood for your rhyming today, I'm enjoying Christmas,"


The Cheshire Cat snapped his finger-toes, causing Jam to shrink. He became smaller and smaller, his tail becoming thinner as his face stretched out into a snout. Once all was said and done, Jam had been transformed into a mouse. The cat snickered, "You want Christmas? You can enjoy it as a mouse in the house!"


"That's not even how the rhyme goes!" Shouted the mouse in a soft-spoken voice.


Just then, Jam heard a familiar cackle. "The only rhyming trickster in these stories is me, for I'm the only who steals all the glee!" The voice was followed by a crack of lightning outside and a strange purple cloud materializing within the residence.
When the smoke cleared, it revealed a floating demon duck underneath, "Behold, creatures wide and far the supreme demon duck, Felgar!"


Jam clapped his tiny mousy paws, "Well, you've really amped up the theatrics! But you're too late, Felgs, another trickster already beat you to it!"


The duck scowled and balled his hands into fists, "What?! Nobody poaches monkeys on my territory EXCEPT for me! Who's da wise guy?!"


The Cheshire Cat appeared in front of Felgar as he put his head back on and bowed, "The Cheshire Cat, pleasure to make your acquaintance!"


Felgar squealed with excitement when he spotted the cat, "Egads, the Cheshire Cat! I'm a huge fan of your work, sir!"


Jam raised an eyebrow, "Wait, you actually respect someone, Felgar?!"


The duck nodded, "Of course, the Cheshire Cat is a legend in Demon Duck Realm! He's the only being in the multiverse as chaotic as my father and I, the only one with powers that rival our own!"


The cat smiled as he floated around the duck, "I see my reputation proceeds me! Since it's Christmas day, how about I give you a gift? A short-term internship with yours truly!"


Felgar nodded, "Of course!"


Jam scratched at his tiny head, "Hey, don't I get a say in this?"


Felgar shook his head and snapped his fingers, causing Jam to transform once more. His body thinned out and turned into metal, his head transforming into the head of a lamp. His feet became the bottom of the lamp, supporting the metallic structure. Now just a fixture, Felgar shushed him, "Quiet, lamp-twit! The adults are talking! So, what would this internship entail?"


The Cheshire Cat cackled mischievously, "It's simple, all I have to do is turn you into a Cheshire Cat as well, then we'll get to work on transforming your friend there into various things!"


"Sure, but he's NOT my friend!"


"Really, I thought you two went bowling a while back?"


"Look, that was several months ago and a different universe with a different Jam! Besides, she and her friends were bowling pins during that and were still messed with!"


"Alright, whatever you say! Are you ready to follow the cat's way?"


Felgar nodded, "If only for tonight, yes!"


"Very well! Stand still!"


The Cheshire Cat then began a silly and semi-provocative dance. The lamp-ified Jam and Felgar could only watch in confusion as the cat gyrated all over the place, shaking his tush and snapping his fingers. When his bizarre ritual was complete, Felgar felt a strange change take hold of his body.


Felgar's ears grew longer and moved to the top of his head. His bill withdrew back into his face, his nose taking on a new shape. It become round and wet, much like the nose of a mammal. His tailfeathers merged together and pushed into a big fluffy cat's tail. Lastly, all the feathers on the duck's body changed into fur. With the transformation complete, Felgar marveled at his new form.


He swished his new feline tail around, "Ooh, this is nice, I feel even more powerful than before! Though I still feel tail-feathers are superior!"


The Cheshire Cat shrugged, "Let's agree to disagree, fellow feline!"


He then snapped his fingers, turning Jam back to normal. The two cats then floated around Jam, gazing at him menacingly. "Let's have some fun!" Shouted Felgar as he snapped his fingers, changing their location. They were suddenly in a garbage dump! The two cats circled around their prey, their fingers and finger-toes ready to snap the monkey into oblivion.


"I'll start us off!" Shouted Felgar as he snapped his fuzzy feline fingers. Suddenly, Jam's body began to bulk up, his skin hardening and turning to metal.


The monkey panicked as his face stretched and changed into a fender, his eyes becoming headlights, "Oh no!"


Jam's arms and legs curled themselves into a circular shape, quickly changing into tires. His tail flattened out, transforming into a license plate! All of his fur fell out, revealing a metal chassis underneath. When all was said and done, Jam had transformed into a car! The Cheshire Cat smiled as he knocked on the hood, "It's quite good, but it isn't quite garbage dump quality now is it?"


Felgar floated over to his fellow cat and nudged him in the shoulders, "Well, how about adding some rust to it then?"


The Cheshire Cat nodded and wiggled his finger toes, "Can do!"


The wiggling caused rust to form across Jam's chassis. He was covered in decades worth of rust, aging his metal body in the process! His once fine finish was worn down, making him match the other junkers in the dump. After completing his transformation, the two felines floated over to the sides of the vehicle and opened its doors. They slid inside the vehicle, high-fiving each other as they sat on the worn out upholstery.


"Let's give 'em a test run!" Exclaimed Felgar as he played patty-cake with his hands and hand-feet, causing the new Jam-mobile to turn on! Felgar used his magic to rev Jam's engines, before driving the vehicle straight ahead! Jam crashed into a nearby pile of trash, causing his engine to smoke and his airbags to inflate. Said airbags pinned the cats against the back of their chair, prompting the tiny cats to squirm about. Jam and the cats were very much still alive, though in quite a bit of discomfort and pain.

Felgar sighed, "Note to self, never patty-cake and drive!"


The Cheshire Cat nodded, "Live and learn, my friend!"


Felgar poked the airbag, causing a blast of magical energy to envelop the three. When it cleared, Jam was back to normal and the cats were free! "That was a blast and a half! So, what should we make our monkey friend next?"


Felgar winked, "How about into a puppet? It's a tried and true classic!"


The Cheshire Cat scratched his chin, "I dunno, I don't feel like sharing a puppet between the two of us! Got any other potential victims to join him?"


Felgar's catlike grin grew even wider, "Well, he does have a girlfriend!"


"Ooh, how splendid! We can bring her here and make her into a puppet as well,"


Jam sighed and scratched the back of his head nervously, "Don't I get a say in it, fellas?"


The two circled around him, like vultures about to prey upon a carcass. "I think not! Besides, we haven't really involved Meerina in our shenanigans lately!"


Jam shrugged his shoulders, "I guess not!"


Felgar patted the monkey's head, "Ya see? But to be fair, let's flip a coin! Heads we don't transform your girlfriend as well, and tails we do!"


"Oh, that sounds fair!"


"Now we just need a coin..." Said the Cheshire Cat as he eyed Jam up. He clapped his hands, causing the monkey's skin to turn to metal. He shrank as his arms, legs, and torso disappeared. His whole body became circular and inanimate, shrinking further and further with each passing second. Jam's head and tail receded into the metallic circle, leaving an image of both on each side of it. When all was said and done, Jam had been transformed into a tiny metal coin!


Felgar flipped the monkey-coin, only for it land on tails! Both him and the Cheshire Cat laughed at this. "Look, fortune favors the kitties!" Exclaimed the former duck. The two cats then high-fived, causing both them and Jam to disappear in a puff of smoke. Jam awoke later and found that he wasn't quite himself! His body felt wooden and heavy while also feeling like it was being held up by strings.


Jam looked up to see Felgar towering above him, holding his strings! Jam had been transformed into a wooden puppet, unable to control his own body. The cat snickered, "What's the matter, Jam? Unable to control yourself? You should see your girlfriend!" Felgar then tugged on the string attached to Jam's head and prompted him to look to the right. Next to him was a wooden version of his girlfriend Meerina, a very fat meerkat.


She too was being held up by string, unable to move her body according to her own will. The Cheshire Cat played with Meerina's strings and made her tap-dance! Jam tried to express concern, but he lacked the ability to talk on his own or even emote! Felgar and the Cheshire Cat then took the string puppets and pulled them closer together, making them kiss!


Felgar snickered, "These puppets are quite nice, but they could be smaller!"


The other cat nodded, "Of course!"


The pair of kitties collectively wiggled their fingers around, causing their puppets to shrink! Jam and Meerina were reduced to the size of action figures. Cheshire Cat scratched his chin, "I think we can make them even smaller!"


"I think so too!"


The pair took their fingers and thumbs and placed them over the two tiny lovers, “crushing” them and reducing their sizes further. The puppet-fied couple shrank once more, growing smaller and smaller until they were only a few inches tall. "WE NEED TO MAKE THEM SMALLER!" Both cats shouted in unison, still not satisfied with how small they made them. They crushed the pair even further, until they were no bigger than atoms. The two atom-sized puppets laid atop the now massive thumbs of the cats, who’s eyes stared back at the wooden couple with malicious intent.


Felgar scratched at the back of his fuzzy head, "I think we made them a tad bit too small!"


"Agreed! We need to make them bigger!"


The pair of cats then proceeded to do interpretive dance, flailing their hands and hand-feet all around as they cast a spell on the two lovers. Jam and Meerina started to grow larger, much larger in fact! They grew and grew, becoming larger than vehicles and even buildings! The duo were now Kaiju-sized, despite still being lifeless puppets.


"That's too big, you need to work on your TF-dancing skills, Felgar!"


Felgar scowled, "Look, I've only been a Cheshire Cat for 20 minutes! This is more power than I'm used to as a demon!"


The Cheshire Cat waved his finger at Felgar, "Tsk tsk, looks like someone has to practice! How about turning these two into pigs?"


Felgar cracked his knuckles, causing magical sparks to shoot from them, "Can do!" After cracking his knuckles, he wiggled his fingers around which caused the pair to shrink. As they shrank, their bodies became flesh and blood once more! Their fur fell as they shrunk, much to their dismay. Their hands, hand-feet, and paws hardened and turned into trotters. They found their bodies becoming fatter as they were forced into four-legged stances. The lovers' noses expanded into big pig snouts, limiting their speech to oinks and grunts. Lastly, their tails shrunk and took on a spring-like shape.
Felgar snickered as he looked over his work, "Ah, perfect!"


Cheshire Cat nodded, "I must agree, you've made quite a pair of fine piggies!"


Meerina then walked up to Felgar and snorted wildly. He looked down at her and glared, "Do you mind? I'm gloating here!"


The former meerkat continued to snort and grunt loudly, agitating Felgar as he thought of how to mess with the pair next. The cat glared at the pig, not understanding her constant oinks. He finally reached his breaking point and snapped his fingers, returning Meerina's ability to speak, "WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"


Meerrina laughed nervously, "A-Activate r-r-reversal spell!" As soon as she said that, both her and Jam returned to normal. Jam regained his simian form while Meerina was once again a fat meerkat.

Felgar growled at the pair's transformation back to normal, "Since when did you learn how to do that?!


Meerina squeaked nervously, "I-I-I've been practicing low level magic!"


The Cheshire Cat laughed at Felgar, "Oh no, looks like you have a long way to go!"


Felgar thrashed his furry arms around wildly, scratching his claws against the grass, "I know how to handle myself, alright?! It doesn't matter if I'm a Cheshire Cat or demon duck, I can handle my magic!"


Jam snickered, "What about all those times your magic messed up completely?"


The cat hissed at Jam, "Those weren't mess-ups, just happy accidents! Look, it was a stupid idea to bring Meerina along with us, she's just getting in the way!" He snapped his fingers, causing Meerina to disappear.


Jam panicked, "Felgar, what did you do with her?!"


"I sent her home,"


"Oh... That was surprisingly nice of you!"


"To be fair, gas prices are pretty bad right now and she lives all the way across town. I'm evil, but I'm not THAT evil!"


Jam nodded, "Ah, good to see even evil entities having a heart on the holidays!"


The cat cackled mischievously as he floated up to Jam, "Oh, I don't have that MUCH of a heart around the holidays, I just don't want her around to see what I'm about to do to you!"


The monkey gulped as the duck stared daggers at him, "Can't we talk about this?"
Felgar winked, "We just did!"


The pair of cats got to work on transforming Jam once more. Instead of using their hands or their feet, they instead chose to rub up against Jam like the felines they were. The brushing of fur against Jam's body began to change him once more! Jam's fur color changed from brown to pink, while becoming much thicker in the process.


Jam grew taller as his ears grew longer. His white lab-coat changed shape into a gaudy tie-dye vest, a piece of clothing which Jam absolutely hated. His face grow into a snout with little whiskers poking out of it. To complete his transformation into the Easter Bunny, a basket of chocolates appeared in his hand! Jam angrily tapped his new rabbit foot against the ground while holding his basket, "I DO NOT WANT TO BE THE EASTER BUNNY!"


The Cheshire Cat snickered as he floated around Jam, "Really? But it's all the rage!"


"If he doesn't like the Easter Bunny, perhaps he'd like being Cupid instead!"


"What?! No!" Jam panicked the cats performed an overtly complex "secret handshake" of sorts with each other, which transformed him once more. Jam returned to his monkey form, but found himself shrinking and growing younger. A pair of tiny angel wings sprouted from his hairy back. His lab-coat climbed down to his legs and turned into a pair of white underwear. When all was said and done, Jam had been turned into a tiny baby-like cherub holding a pink bow!


Jam grumbled, "Stop turning me into random holiday icons! Besides, it's not even Valentines Day, it's Christmas!"


The cats chuckled mischievously as they circled around the monkey. Felgar snickered, "Quite right, my tiny chimp chump!"


The pair of cats then snapped their fingers (and toe-fingers), causing one last transformation in Jam. The monkey began to grow taller as his stomach swelled. Bits of data circulated around Jam's body, forming into a red-and-white Santa outfit! Big black boots formed over his hand-feet, while gloves of the same color appeared on his hands. Lastly, a long and very thick white beard emerged from his chin.
Jam grumbled as he grabbed his fat belly and jiggled it around like a bowl full of jelly, "I ho-ho-ho-hate this!"


"Well, you'll hate this a lot more!" Exclaimed the Cheshire cat as he and Felgar grabbed each other by the hand-feet, spinning around and causing the room to change. Jam and the cats were instantly teleported to Santa's workshop. Jam looked around at the all the toys and conveyor belts situated around them, along with the various elves doing their jobs. The elves looked at the trio in confusion, wondering why their beloved "Santa" was hanging out with Cheshire Cats.


Felgar snickered, "Looks we found the place where you belong!"


Jam then started to laugh manically, prompting the two cats to look at each other confused. "What's so funny, fatass?!" Felgar hissed at Jam.


"You two idiots turned me into Santa!"


The Cheshire Cat raised an eyebrow, "And?"


"Santa ALSO knows magic, stupid!" Jam rubbed his gloved hands together, causing various ribbons and bows that were situated around them to float into the air. The ribbons then got to work on tying up the two cats. Both the Cheshire Cat and Felgar were wrapped from head-to-toe in red ribbon!

The pair wriggled around in their wrappings. "Mmffff mmmph!" Felgar let out muffled cries for help as Jam used his magic to summon Santa's sack out of nowhere! He grabbed the two wrapped up kitties and threw them in the bag. "Time for the fun part!" Jam shouted as he shook up the bag!


After a few minutes of shaking, he opened the bag and poured out its contents onto a nearby conveyor belt. Felgar and the Cheshire Cat exited the bag as a pair of harmless plushies, prompting Jam to laugh. "Ha, serves you right! You really need to stop turning me into beings that can ACTUALLY use magic!"


The two cats tried to fire back at Jam, but they lacked the ability to talk or act. Jam continued to laugh, until someone approached him form behind. He turned and found the Actual Santa Claus standing right there! "Ho ho ho, what brings you to my workshop, Jam?"


The monkey sweated nervously, "Oh well, Felgar and the Cheshire Cat brought me here! I was just teaching them a lesson. Sorry for disturbing your elves, sir!" Jam remembered last Christmas when he had insulted Santa, prompting the jolly fat man to transform him into a fat monkey like the one he was now. Jam really didn't want to draw Santa's ire once more!


Santa simply laughed, "It's fine, Jam! You may be here in my workshop, but it's not your fault you ended up here. Plus, you punished the naughtiest critters on my naughty list! I'd say that earns you a reward!"


Jam rubbed the back of his head out of embarrassment, "Well, thanks! Though I didn't really do it for any good reasons, just been tortured all night by these guys and wanted payback. However, if you really want to pay me back, think you could change me back to normal and send me back to my girlfriend?"


Santa nodded and picked up the two plush cats, "Of course! I'll be sure to send these troublemakers back to where they came from too! They should be out of your hair for a few days, at least until they change back!"


Jam smirked, "Wow, that's all I could really ask for this Christmas! Thanks, Santa!"


Santa gave Jam a hardy "Ho ho ho!" before using his magic to change Jam back to normal and teleport him to Meerina's house. Jam appeared in Meerina's living room just as she was drinking hot chocolate. "Jam, you're back to normal! Where did Felgar and the Cheshire Cat go?"


Jam grinned mischievously and confidently scratched his nose, "Let's just say that those two are learning that the real meaning of Christmas is not to cross me, or Santa!"


Meerina raised an eyebrow, "Y-Y-You met Santa?!"
The monkey nodded, "Of course! I've met pretty much every magical entity at this point,"


"B-Be honest, are you on his naughty list?"


Jam sighed and reached into his lab-coat pocket, digging around for something that he thought Santa may have placed there. Jam quickly found what he was looking for and pulled it from his pocket, showing it to Meerina: It was a big piece of black coal. "Does that answer your question?" Jam asked in a mocking manner.


The End!

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