energy drink companies: Hey, kids, wanna piss rocks?!

i only tried energy drinks once, it tasted like it was actively trying to kill me

yeah, most are basically glucose water with tons of dubious kidney-filtered organics in them. I like celcius though. basically just supercaffeinated tea with splenda, caffeine, vitamins, and berry juice. at least the flavor I like.

It's still a little jank though. Ironically, it's one that would totally be in your story, because it contains a metabolic enhancer refined from green tea that spikes your body temp and metabolic rate. it can tank your blood sugar, screw with your blood filtration, and make you anemic if you're already kinda sickly, though.

I performed an experiment a few years ago. I sampled every caffeinated elixir ThinkGeek.Com had to offer. Red Bull tasted like dry-cleaning fluid (tetrachlorethylene) smells. I think I settled on Bauls, in the blue bottle, as the most palatable.

The sci-fi lover side of me thinks that dude got his mind stuck in the digital world