FA+
Shop
Funeral
by DeskyDillo
Anthro Artist
3 years ago
Ha... this has a stupid story behind it. :P
I'm so tired.
EDIT, 10 Sep 2024: Coming back to this later, I realized this is the standard experience I've just always had. It hurts, so I've just started laying potential friendships to rest before they begin. Sometimes the world just doesn't want certain people in it, and when it comes time for me to leave it, nobody will feel anything at all. I simply wasn't wanted. I can't remember a time where I've had genuine friends that chose to be near me.
Goodbye everyone. You don't realize it, or care, but I'm already gone from this place in every way that matters. I was never really here.
I started this painting like 5 years ago; I was making it for this girl I used to really like (platonic) on DA! I just really wanted her to be my friend. She was always so kind to her friends, really supportive and never expected more from them than they just exist and I really wanted her to treat me that way too. I spent like 10 years just trying to get her to talk to me, and I painted her this beautiful little post card! I was going to send it to her on her birthday! She has always loved dinosaurs and I was at one point one of her favorite artists, supposedly.
Then... I went through a bunch of bad social experiences after I suffered a severe medical crisis and realized some things about people and friends and human kindness. I decided I'd stop trying to be her friend. I've rarely gotten more than 2 lines of text in a row out of her in my life. I just got so tired of doing the ''pick me'' dance; I'm just really tired.
So, I finished the painting for nobody. I glued the postcard I'd meant to send to this wonderful, kind person for her birthday to a piece of cardboard, sealed it with care, trimmed it, and now it sits on a book shelf in my little home where it'll stay. My task has been completed, and the outcome was a lot nicer than it would have been, I think. I feel a lot better than I would have. There are more pieces waiting, too, to be laid to rest.I'm so tired.
EDIT, 10 Sep 2024: Coming back to this later, I realized this is the standard experience I've just always had. It hurts, so I've just started laying potential friendships to rest before they begin. Sometimes the world just doesn't want certain people in it, and when it comes time for me to leave it, nobody will feel anything at all. I simply wasn't wanted. I can't remember a time where I've had genuine friends that chose to be near me.
Goodbye everyone. You don't realize it, or care, but I'm already gone from this place in every way that matters. I was never really here.
194
Views
3
Comments
6
Favorites
General
Rating
Category
Sub-Category
Species
Resolution
File Size
All
All
Dinosaur
960 x 1280
554 kB
And true. Don't waste your time on people who don't really want it. Save your energy <3