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In the last chapter, Princess was confronted by the angry Chad, who had become a little less mentally stable after seeing things he had no explanation for. As it turns out, the one he had managed to come up with was "Hellhound", which is a little understandable, as he saw a dog that talked, breathed fire, spread demonic-looking wings, and for a brief moment, had horns and a serpent-like head. ...Not the best of moves there, Princess, but I guess it worked out? Just when she thought she'd destroyed her friendship, it turns out that Cheryl isn't willing to give up just yet on her. Isn't that so nice of her?
So, 19 and 20? Yes... 19 ends in a spot that, well, I really didn't want to leave it at, even when writing. I wanted to start writing 20 as soon as possible, and since it would take longer than usual to have the chapter approved for posting, I went ahead and started. If you thought you were upset with the cliffhanger on Chapter 16, you'd probably be grabbing pitchforks if I left it on the ending of 19 for a week!
Chapter 19 contains 7722 words. The conversation in the beginning is a long one, but I feel like it kind of needs to be as long as it is? I didn't really see a whole lot I could cut out without changing the tone of the scene, without letting Cheryl have time to come to her decision. She's not just looking for what is being said, she's also looking for how Princess is saying it. This makes the chapter right around average length, because even though I tend to aim for around 6000-6500 words, I have more than a few 9000+ chapters that pull the average up a little. Median length is still at 6823. Chapter 20 is actually the shortest chapter posted so far, at 5447 words. I thought about going back and trying to add more, but I never really saw a spot that felt "organic" to do so, and the characters are already so stressed and rushing that it felt like it would make things even more frustrating, which would change how they acted, and I'd have to re-write the entire thing. So I'm okay with having a new shortest, it's only 290 shorter than the previous shortest (which is Chapter 4, the Dysphoria Chapter, at 5737 words.) The combined lengths is 13,169, which makes this my largest single upload, pushing pretty far past Chapter 3's 10,987 words, so I hope it's okay that they're not split apart! I figure people have had enough of "split apart" by now, really. ^_^
In the last chapter, Princess was confronted by the angry Chad, who had become a little less mentally stable after seeing things he had no explanation for. As it turns out, the one he had managed to come up with was "Hellhound", which is a little understandable, as he saw a dog that talked, breathed fire, spread demonic-looking wings, and for a brief moment, had horns and a serpent-like head. ...Not the best of moves there, Princess, but I guess it worked out? Just when she thought she'd destroyed her friendship, it turns out that Cheryl isn't willing to give up just yet on her. Isn't that so nice of her?
So, 19 and 20? Yes... 19 ends in a spot that, well, I really didn't want to leave it at, even when writing. I wanted to start writing 20 as soon as possible, and since it would take longer than usual to have the chapter approved for posting, I went ahead and started. If you thought you were upset with the cliffhanger on Chapter 16, you'd probably be grabbing pitchforks if I left it on the ending of 19 for a week!
Chapter 19 contains 7722 words. The conversation in the beginning is a long one, but I feel like it kind of needs to be as long as it is? I didn't really see a whole lot I could cut out without changing the tone of the scene, without letting Cheryl have time to come to her decision. She's not just looking for what is being said, she's also looking for how Princess is saying it. This makes the chapter right around average length, because even though I tend to aim for around 6000-6500 words, I have more than a few 9000+ chapters that pull the average up a little. Median length is still at 6823. Chapter 20 is actually the shortest chapter posted so far, at 5447 words. I thought about going back and trying to add more, but I never really saw a spot that felt "organic" to do so, and the characters are already so stressed and rushing that it felt like it would make things even more frustrating, which would change how they acted, and I'd have to re-write the entire thing. So I'm okay with having a new shortest, it's only 290 shorter than the previous shortest (which is Chapter 4, the Dysphoria Chapter, at 5737 words.) The combined lengths is 13,169, which makes this my largest single upload, pushing pretty far past Chapter 3's 10,987 words, so I hope it's okay that they're not split apart! I figure people have had enough of "split apart" by now, really. ^_^
Category Story / All
Species Western Dragon
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 76.3 kB
Listed in Folders
I... I was not expecting the sudden change in princess running away like that. It personally felt unreasonably forced, but maybe that was just me going, "No! Go back" screaming at my phone.
Now that mostly everything is resolved I can provide some opinions...
I personally don't believe princess would have acted in the way that she did, but I don't know, I'm not the writer of this fantastic series. It just sorta seemed irrational and forced for the sake of adding narrative tension to the plot.
Regardless, I'm glad they are all together. I'm also wondering what's planned for the veterinary lady. I imagine she'll be a recurring character still, probably live in Terra when all is said and done. She doesn't have a place to stay. She's single and she did seem awfully impressed by Tola's *Massive* Sword... XD
Now that mostly everything is resolved I can provide some opinions...
I personally don't believe princess would have acted in the way that she did, but I don't know, I'm not the writer of this fantastic series. It just sorta seemed irrational and forced for the sake of adding narrative tension to the plot.
Regardless, I'm glad they are all together. I'm also wondering what's planned for the veterinary lady. I imagine she'll be a recurring character still, probably live in Terra when all is said and done. She doesn't have a place to stay. She's single and she did seem awfully impressed by Tola's *Massive* Sword... XD
I'd actually been planning this out for a while, but I guess it's easy for me to see when I knew it was coming. Some things I intentionally put in place to lead up to this was the line back in Chapter 12 about "Terra's forced enough on us as it is", Tola's increasing moodiness (really about the brutality of life on Terra but Princess worries it's a result of the burdens he puts up with because of her), Princess's increasing attempts to cheer him up and get him to "admit" the positives about Life on Terra, Tola's reminiscing about life on Earth... I had planned for a while to have this sort of breakdown happen, where all the anxiety comes to the surface and breaks through so that it can finally be addressed and she can emerge stronger for it. Maybe I didn't put as much as I should have because of my own struggles, causing me to shy away from it.
Princess constantly worries about being a "burden" on Tola. He has to care for her, cook for her, take her places, make excuses for her to get her allowed into places, deal with problems that come up because of her form (like the Keeper stealing her scales or the whole thing with the eggs), and the massive debt to the Crown that he took on just to save her. She's been worrying that he feels "trapped" by her for some time, especially when he started talking more about Earth (because he was being asked about his "homeland" by Lance and Aesis, but anxiety rarely listens to reason), and she's also been feeling like she's been messing everything up since she arrived on Earth. When she finally reaches him and the first two things she hears are "I love it here" and "I hate being called Tola", it just crashed through her already-thin shield covering all that anxiety and caused it to spill forth and consume her. It was like getting direct confirmation of her absolute worst fear. ^_^;;
I guess part of the problem is that if she's in denial about it herself, she can't exactly say so in her own thoughts, because she's not aware of it. Because of that, it's not coming through as clearly as it needs to. Well, maybe if I ever assemble these into full novels, I'll see about putting more of that into the text.
(As for Cheryl and the future plans regarding her, I can't say much because of spoilers. But while she might visit Terra, I'm not currently planning on her to live there.)
Princess constantly worries about being a "burden" on Tola. He has to care for her, cook for her, take her places, make excuses for her to get her allowed into places, deal with problems that come up because of her form (like the Keeper stealing her scales or the whole thing with the eggs), and the massive debt to the Crown that he took on just to save her. She's been worrying that he feels "trapped" by her for some time, especially when he started talking more about Earth (because he was being asked about his "homeland" by Lance and Aesis, but anxiety rarely listens to reason), and she's also been feeling like she's been messing everything up since she arrived on Earth. When she finally reaches him and the first two things she hears are "I love it here" and "I hate being called Tola", it just crashed through her already-thin shield covering all that anxiety and caused it to spill forth and consume her. It was like getting direct confirmation of her absolute worst fear. ^_^;;
I guess part of the problem is that if she's in denial about it herself, she can't exactly say so in her own thoughts, because she's not aware of it. Because of that, it's not coming through as clearly as it needs to. Well, maybe if I ever assemble these into full novels, I'll see about putting more of that into the text.
(As for Cheryl and the future plans regarding her, I can't say much because of spoilers. But while she might visit Terra, I'm not currently planning on her to live there.)
Very well put. 😀
I do understand now that Princess feeling like she has been a burden could cause her to feel that way and how unbridled excitement could turn into a feeling of betrayal when you hear something out of context. I still just feel it could and should have played out differently. I personally am not sold on how she acted then and there and then how quickly her mood turns back around. The fit of he kicking rocks was playful and funny, but her just silently leaving the moment she finally found him, it doesn't feel believable. 'Which I know sounds crazy when we're talking about a fantasy book with dragons, magic and magical storms which transport matter across different worlds!' But regardless...
I know my point doesn't matter in the slightest bit. I would not have done anything differently with how it was resolved, but that moment of suspense could have really been a moment where instead of leaving an making your readers go, "No... Don't do that!" You could have made them go, "Oh... Shit... Uh Tola! You might want to run."
Think of how a violent ex could snap and destroy property, now replace that and add a dragon to the mix.
I hope my criticisms don't come across as annoying to you, I write too. I just don't post on this site. I only
I do understand now that Princess feeling like she has been a burden could cause her to feel that way and how unbridled excitement could turn into a feeling of betrayal when you hear something out of context. I still just feel it could and should have played out differently. I personally am not sold on how she acted then and there and then how quickly her mood turns back around. The fit of he kicking rocks was playful and funny, but her just silently leaving the moment she finally found him, it doesn't feel believable. 'Which I know sounds crazy when we're talking about a fantasy book with dragons, magic and magical storms which transport matter across different worlds!' But regardless...
I know my point doesn't matter in the slightest bit. I would not have done anything differently with how it was resolved, but that moment of suspense could have really been a moment where instead of leaving an making your readers go, "No... Don't do that!" You could have made them go, "Oh... Shit... Uh Tola! You might want to run."
Think of how a violent ex could snap and destroy property, now replace that and add a dragon to the mix.
I hope my criticisms don't come across as annoying to you, I write too. I just don't post on this site. I only
I don't find it at all annoying, I'm grateful you share your viewpoint and thoughts with me. ^_^
I personally have been hit with that sort of anxiety, that thought of "knowing" that someone hates me, and when I'm at my lowest, I'm not going to say anything, I'm going to leave and look to disappear. It's possible I could have built things up more, it's hard to say. I know if I got it in my head, "This person hates me, has hated me all along, I really am a horrible burden", then the next thought would be "The best thing I can do is be out of their life, maybe it's best they don't even know I was here at all." She wasn't thinking straight when she did that, she cut off her collar because "This is something he gave me, but if he doesn't want me, then I don't deserve to have this." She's lashing out at herself, destroying things she sees as important and things that give her happiness, telling herself she deserves to lose them. That she never deserved to have happiness in the first place. And all while "convincing" herself that this is how she can make him happy, because she's so far deep in that hole that she can't see anything but what the darkness has twisted things into. She'd never lash out at Tola or anyone else, because she's not mad at him. She's mad at herself for "not seeing" how "terrible" she was all along, if that makes any sense. That's why Tola's urgency increased, when he went from thinking "She's out without her illusion, she's in danger from other people" to "She is emotionally crashing very hard and now I don't know how much of a danger she poses to herself". As they were pulling into the parking lot, where he goes from "Impatient" to "On the verge of freaking out". After all, for almost an entire year, he's been her rock, her source of strength, he's seen her have some breakdowns but has been there to catch her and keep her from going too far.
She's pulled out of the worst of it, but it is by no means over. Think of it like an infected wound that just had a bit of stuff drain out. The pressure is released a little, she's back to being "functional", but she still has serious, deep wounds that need to be addressed properly. But now that it's happened, it IS something that can be addressed and talked about. She's struggled with this kind of darkness for a long time, long enough that it feels "normal" to her, and so this kind of breakdown is "a sign of failure" instead of "a sign something is wrong" because she's internalized a lot of bad thoughts. Princess hasn't been the most introspective, instead she's been trying to keep herself distracted and keep things covered, so I can see how it would seem a little odd. ^_^;;
I personally have been hit with that sort of anxiety, that thought of "knowing" that someone hates me, and when I'm at my lowest, I'm not going to say anything, I'm going to leave and look to disappear. It's possible I could have built things up more, it's hard to say. I know if I got it in my head, "This person hates me, has hated me all along, I really am a horrible burden", then the next thought would be "The best thing I can do is be out of their life, maybe it's best they don't even know I was here at all." She wasn't thinking straight when she did that, she cut off her collar because "This is something he gave me, but if he doesn't want me, then I don't deserve to have this." She's lashing out at herself, destroying things she sees as important and things that give her happiness, telling herself she deserves to lose them. That she never deserved to have happiness in the first place. And all while "convincing" herself that this is how she can make him happy, because she's so far deep in that hole that she can't see anything but what the darkness has twisted things into. She'd never lash out at Tola or anyone else, because she's not mad at him. She's mad at herself for "not seeing" how "terrible" she was all along, if that makes any sense. That's why Tola's urgency increased, when he went from thinking "She's out without her illusion, she's in danger from other people" to "She is emotionally crashing very hard and now I don't know how much of a danger she poses to herself". As they were pulling into the parking lot, where he goes from "Impatient" to "On the verge of freaking out". After all, for almost an entire year, he's been her rock, her source of strength, he's seen her have some breakdowns but has been there to catch her and keep her from going too far.
She's pulled out of the worst of it, but it is by no means over. Think of it like an infected wound that just had a bit of stuff drain out. The pressure is released a little, she's back to being "functional", but she still has serious, deep wounds that need to be addressed properly. But now that it's happened, it IS something that can be addressed and talked about. She's struggled with this kind of darkness for a long time, long enough that it feels "normal" to her, and so this kind of breakdown is "a sign of failure" instead of "a sign something is wrong" because she's internalized a lot of bad thoughts. Princess hasn't been the most introspective, instead she's been trying to keep herself distracted and keep things covered, so I can see how it would seem a little odd. ^_^;;
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