The Hangover
A Thursday Prompt play
© 2021 by Walter Reimer

Prompt: sketch


PERSONS REPRESENTED:

HARVEY, an ursine boar
SHEILA, a porcine sow


SCENE. A local restaurant, called The Truffle House; it’s been at that spot since the Truman Administration, and looks it. HARVEY is seated on a stool at the counter. SHEILA is on the other side of the counter, with the kitchen window at her back. Assorted sounds (chopping, metal spatula on griddle, etc.) coming from the kitchen.

SHEILA: (popping her gum, causing HARVEY to wince and whine) ‘Morning, Harvey. Looks like you really tied one on last night, didn’t you?

HARVEY: Plergb hfarizz ungemby, and coffee.

SHEILA: (reaches for a coffee pitcher labeled “Hangover”) All right, sweetie, I’ll keep my voice down. (she pours him a cup of coffee; some slops onto the counter, where it fizzes; she passes him the cup) Here’s your coffee.

HARVEY: (lowers his muzzle to the coffee and slurps some up; head stays bowed) Hfangummm.

SHEILA: Don’t mention it, Harvey. (she wipes the spilled coffee up before it can eat through the counter) Where were you last night?

HARVEY: Hmmmyrz.

SHEILA: Mary’s?

HARVEY: Hmm. Lllwik’nnd.

SHEILA: All weekend? Just between you, me, and the lamppost, Harvey, you can do better. Now, what do you want to eat?

Long pause.

HARVEY: Hahppppyzz.

SHEILA: Hot puppies, okay. Happy, playful, or sad?

HARVEY: Mwannd.

SHEILA: (looks over her nose at him) Harvey McClain, you can’t mean to sit there, in the state you’re in, and tell me that you want a plate of dead hot puppies. Now, happy, playful, or sad?

Long pause.

HARVEY: Pphbll . . .

SHEILA: Playful, okay. You want anything else?

HARVEY: (slurps up another muzzleful of coffee) Flugerr frbbl gu . . . froobl.

SHEILA: A flight of egg boys, huh? Okay, Harvey. (she turns and faces the kitchen window) Ted! A litter of playful hot puppies and a flight of egg boys. (she nods and turns back to HARVEY) It’ll be a few minutes, Harvey. Let me get you a refill on your coffee.

HARVEY: Hfangmmz. Mgwannnchrrwiddnnn.

SHEILA: Really? (she turns back to the kitchen window) Ted? Snap it up with the food! The minister needs his breakfast, he’s doing a wedding this morning!




End