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The soldiers of the Camo Squadron, a secret, elite squadron of the US army, were in the briefing room, discussing about the suddenness of their summons, elaborating theories and waiting for explanations.
Finally, the door opened, and the murmurs quieted down as their leader, the colonel Carl Offick, came in and began preparing the projection screen
"Alright, people, listen up! We got instructions from all freaking administrations possible. FBI, CIA, DOD, the whole shebang."
"Whoa, must be a big one," commented a soldier.
"You have no idea," muttered Offick.
"So, what is the mission?" asked another soldier.
"We're going to hunt for a rooster, a tortoise, a scorpion and a frog."
A flat silence followed.
"The fuck?!" yelped the first soldier, speaking for all. "We're going critter hunting?!"
Without a word, the colonel activated the projection screen, and the image of a rooster in the middle of a street appeared.
A gigantic rooster, towering over buildings, covering the street in his shadow, disturbing traffic with the space its legs took (or would have if the traffic hadn't stopped).
Once again, silence reigned.
"Well, that's a big cock," finally joked weakly one mook.
Groans were the only answer.
"To get back to the matter, as you can see, that's no ordinary critter."
As the shock calmed down, the Camo soldiers saw that its titanic size was not the only strange thing about that bird.
Its shape and build were not normal rooster ones, but clearly humanoid ones.
And it was clear that it was deliberately standing in the middle of the street, visibly showing off its gargantuan mass, implying a boost in brainpower, enough to reach sapience.
"That "kaiju" - yeah, that's the name the brass used, deal with it - appeared not even one hour ago in Boise, Idaho. As you can imagine, press and social media are all raving about it. Our colleagues are sent, but it doesn't seem to do more than walk and show off, so they're just going by precaution for now."
"And what about the others?" asked one of the higher ranking member of the squadron.
Art by
SpiderDaSquirrel
Rooster Kaiju © me
The soldiers of the Camo Squadron, a secret, elite squadron of the US army, were in the briefing room, discussing about the suddenness of their summons, elaborating theories and waiting for explanations.
Finally, the door opened, and the murmurs quieted down as their leader, the colonel Carl Offick, came in and began preparing the projection screen
"Alright, people, listen up! We got instructions from all freaking administrations possible. FBI, CIA, DOD, the whole shebang."
"Whoa, must be a big one," commented a soldier.
"You have no idea," muttered Offick.
"So, what is the mission?" asked another soldier.
"We're going to hunt for a rooster, a tortoise, a scorpion and a frog."
A flat silence followed.
"The fuck?!" yelped the first soldier, speaking for all. "We're going critter hunting?!"
Without a word, the colonel activated the projection screen, and the image of a rooster in the middle of a street appeared.
A gigantic rooster, towering over buildings, covering the street in his shadow, disturbing traffic with the space its legs took (or would have if the traffic hadn't stopped).
Once again, silence reigned.
"Well, that's a big cock," finally joked weakly one mook.
Groans were the only answer.
"To get back to the matter, as you can see, that's no ordinary critter."
As the shock calmed down, the Camo soldiers saw that its titanic size was not the only strange thing about that bird.
Its shape and build were not normal rooster ones, but clearly humanoid ones.
And it was clear that it was deliberately standing in the middle of the street, visibly showing off its gargantuan mass, implying a boost in brainpower, enough to reach sapience.
"That "kaiju" - yeah, that's the name the brass used, deal with it - appeared not even one hour ago in Boise, Idaho. As you can imagine, press and social media are all raving about it. Our colleagues are sent, but it doesn't seem to do more than walk and show off, so they're just going by precaution for now."
"And what about the others?" asked one of the higher ranking member of the squadron.
Art by
SpiderDaSquirrelRooster Kaiju © me
Category Artwork (Digital) / Macro / Micro
Species Kaiju / Giant Monster
Size 1285 x 1500px
File Size 566.4 kB
Listed in Folders
Well, it sure has been a while, hasn't it? I've been dying to get back to your reviews, and I've finally got some time to do that! Sorry it's been so long, but with university, other reviews and life in general getting in the way, it's been a challenge to find time to sit down and have a chance to review your work in the level of detail that it deserves! However, I finally have that time, so let's not beat around the bush and jump right in, with the first part of Kaiju Rising: Project Omega-69!
The very informative title helpfully tells us that we can expect some kaijus to show up, and sure enough, they do, and in the very first part none the less, where we follow Camo Squadron in their briefing on a new situation that's just developed - and it's a big one! Now, as an introduction, this certainly wastes no time in getting to the point - by the fact that the Squadron has assembled, we know right away that something's going on. No messing around, no gentle build up, no segue, just dive right in and make the overall theme of this sequence - alarmed bewilderment at a scenario that fits right in to a giant monster movie, well, to a degree! Now, I will say that the line 'Finally, he came.' definitely could be improved upon, I can see what you were going for, but it doesn't read terribly well. I'd suggest adding some action to that line, or use of the senses might work even better. Noise of people chatting falling silent as someone of importance steps in is, in my opinion, whatever that's worth, a good way of highlighting a situation is serious. Sure, it might seem cheesy, but that's kind of it works in the real world, eh? Ha ha! Also, a quick mention of the line after that - I do like it, but it could also be changed a little bit, just to make it read better. Nothing big though, I'd say change 'all freaking administrations possible' to something like 'every freaking agency', and to keep the initials in a set of three, for generals, you might mean DOD - Department of Defense? Actually, that's an excellent point, what agencies would report this? The DHS, perhaps? Hmm, it's an interesting idea - look at that, you're inspiring so much thought, and we're not even a quarter of the way through yet!
Speaking of which, moving on! As Col. Offick gives his briefing, we finally learn what Camo Squadron's mission is: It's to go hunt down a Rooster, a Tortoise, a Scorpion, and a Frog! Wait... what? As the soldier's point out, that's quite a bizarre request, especially when you consider that it's coming from multiple agencies from around the country. However, as Offick promptly displays upon the projector, it becomes clear that this is no ordinary rooster! This rooster towers over the surrounding buildings effortlessly! I have to say, it is quite the introduction! That said, I'd say it would have a far more substantial impact if the line itself were changed slightly. 'A gigantic, taller than buildings rooster.' works, it tells the reader what the situation is, but there's not really any weight to it, if that makes any sense? A bit of emphasis on the environment around him - shadows he's casting or cracks in the asphalt, that sort of thing, or maybe some comparisons? You know, that sort of thing. Hopefully I was somewhat clear with that, hah. He really does redefine the phrase 'big bird', doesn't he? I mean, heck, his chest reaches the clouds in that picture! Also, to go with my pun, yes, I noted that awful but obligatory pun you made too!
However, it's immense size is far from the only change this avian titan has undergone - he's not standing or built like a bird, but rather... like a human. Not only that, but he's... flexing. As if he's showing off... and as mentioned, if he's showing off his newfound size and bulk... does that mean his brain has changed as well? If so, has his intelligence surged alongside his mass? Could he even be sapient? So many fascinating questions that Camo Squadron will have to investigate when they respond to this 'Kaiju' as the brass have called it! I really like what you've done with this, because everyone knows so little, it really does create an atmosphere of wonder and worry very well. Furthermore, there's also the mention of social media and the news, and that is exactly what would happen if a 'Kaiju' showed up in the middle of a city - the news and social media would blow up in an instant! Then, as if there wasn't enough to like about this, there's the fact that this is taking place is Boise, Idaho! That's not a location often used in fiction as far as I'm aware, so it's nice to see other locations used rather than just more stock locations.
Of course, as monumental a development as this is, there's still another three 'Kaijus' out there... but don't worry, Offick will get to them... and so will I!
This is an excellent start to what is a very interesting series so far, and I'm sure you'll take this to even more interesting places - there's lots to do with Kaiju, lots of clichés and tropes that you can play with, and of course, that's not even getting in to what your giants can get up to, ha ha! You did a brilliant job on this one man, it was a blast to read! I hope you enjoyed my review as much as I enjoyed writing it! I'll see you for the next 'Briefing', but until then, take care, and have a great night!
The very informative title helpfully tells us that we can expect some kaijus to show up, and sure enough, they do, and in the very first part none the less, where we follow Camo Squadron in their briefing on a new situation that's just developed - and it's a big one! Now, as an introduction, this certainly wastes no time in getting to the point - by the fact that the Squadron has assembled, we know right away that something's going on. No messing around, no gentle build up, no segue, just dive right in and make the overall theme of this sequence - alarmed bewilderment at a scenario that fits right in to a giant monster movie, well, to a degree! Now, I will say that the line 'Finally, he came.' definitely could be improved upon, I can see what you were going for, but it doesn't read terribly well. I'd suggest adding some action to that line, or use of the senses might work even better. Noise of people chatting falling silent as someone of importance steps in is, in my opinion, whatever that's worth, a good way of highlighting a situation is serious. Sure, it might seem cheesy, but that's kind of it works in the real world, eh? Ha ha! Also, a quick mention of the line after that - I do like it, but it could also be changed a little bit, just to make it read better. Nothing big though, I'd say change 'all freaking administrations possible' to something like 'every freaking agency', and to keep the initials in a set of three, for generals, you might mean DOD - Department of Defense? Actually, that's an excellent point, what agencies would report this? The DHS, perhaps? Hmm, it's an interesting idea - look at that, you're inspiring so much thought, and we're not even a quarter of the way through yet!
Speaking of which, moving on! As Col. Offick gives his briefing, we finally learn what Camo Squadron's mission is: It's to go hunt down a Rooster, a Tortoise, a Scorpion, and a Frog! Wait... what? As the soldier's point out, that's quite a bizarre request, especially when you consider that it's coming from multiple agencies from around the country. However, as Offick promptly displays upon the projector, it becomes clear that this is no ordinary rooster! This rooster towers over the surrounding buildings effortlessly! I have to say, it is quite the introduction! That said, I'd say it would have a far more substantial impact if the line itself were changed slightly. 'A gigantic, taller than buildings rooster.' works, it tells the reader what the situation is, but there's not really any weight to it, if that makes any sense? A bit of emphasis on the environment around him - shadows he's casting or cracks in the asphalt, that sort of thing, or maybe some comparisons? You know, that sort of thing. Hopefully I was somewhat clear with that, hah. He really does redefine the phrase 'big bird', doesn't he? I mean, heck, his chest reaches the clouds in that picture! Also, to go with my pun, yes, I noted that awful but obligatory pun you made too!
However, it's immense size is far from the only change this avian titan has undergone - he's not standing or built like a bird, but rather... like a human. Not only that, but he's... flexing. As if he's showing off... and as mentioned, if he's showing off his newfound size and bulk... does that mean his brain has changed as well? If so, has his intelligence surged alongside his mass? Could he even be sapient? So many fascinating questions that Camo Squadron will have to investigate when they respond to this 'Kaiju' as the brass have called it! I really like what you've done with this, because everyone knows so little, it really does create an atmosphere of wonder and worry very well. Furthermore, there's also the mention of social media and the news, and that is exactly what would happen if a 'Kaiju' showed up in the middle of a city - the news and social media would blow up in an instant! Then, as if there wasn't enough to like about this, there's the fact that this is taking place is Boise, Idaho! That's not a location often used in fiction as far as I'm aware, so it's nice to see other locations used rather than just more stock locations.
Of course, as monumental a development as this is, there's still another three 'Kaijus' out there... but don't worry, Offick will get to them... and so will I!
This is an excellent start to what is a very interesting series so far, and I'm sure you'll take this to even more interesting places - there's lots to do with Kaiju, lots of clichés and tropes that you can play with, and of course, that's not even getting in to what your giants can get up to, ha ha! You did a brilliant job on this one man, it was a blast to read! I hope you enjoyed my review as much as I enjoyed writing it! I'll see you for the next 'Briefing', but until then, take care, and have a great night!
"I finally have that time"
YAY!!
"the line 'Finally, he came.' definitely could be improved upon"
You're right, it's pretty lame.
Fixed
"for generals, you might mean DOD - Department of Defense"
Fixed
"I'd say it would have a far more substantial impact if the line itself were changed slightly."
Done
"there's the fact that this is taking place is Boise, Idaho! That's not a location often used in fiction as far as I'm aware, so it's nice to see other locations used rather than just more stock locations."
I actually did a google research for "big chicken raising town in USA", and Boise was the best I found
Glad you liked it! And even more glad to see you back! ^^
YAY!!
"the line 'Finally, he came.' definitely could be improved upon"
You're right, it's pretty lame.
Fixed
"for generals, you might mean DOD - Department of Defense"
Fixed
"I'd say it would have a far more substantial impact if the line itself were changed slightly."
Done
"there's the fact that this is taking place is Boise, Idaho! That's not a location often used in fiction as far as I'm aware, so it's nice to see other locations used rather than just more stock locations."
I actually did a google research for "big chicken raising town in USA", and Boise was the best I found
Glad you liked it! And even more glad to see you back! ^^
Hah, yes, I know, I know, it's been so long, and I'm just as happy to get back to this as you! You've got a lot of series for me to cover, with more in the future, but hey, I'll cover the main ones eventually, and who knows - I might get all of them one day!
Now, those changes you've made, I wholeheartedly approve, they make the story read much better! And it's very interesting to see that's the reason you chose it, that's a really clever, and subtle, joke there!
Believe me, I'm thrilled to be back, and I'm even more thrilled to get to reviewing your awesome works!
Now, those changes you've made, I wholeheartedly approve, they make the story read much better! And it's very interesting to see that's the reason you chose it, that's a really clever, and subtle, joke there!
Believe me, I'm thrilled to be back, and I'm even more thrilled to get to reviewing your awesome works!
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