Scarlett: what's wrong, you can tell us about it..you don't look well.

============================

Truth is...well, I guess i hit a slump, deeper than I feel at times where I come out, then fall back in. I think too much, honest that's one of my problems. I think too much...i think about myself, i think of others, i think of how they view me and I think about how i feel. Stress, some depression, old habits, breaking habits, and same family structures.
Demon Zylo isn't just something for being a powerful, but is a representation. Of when I'm angry, of when I wanna be dominant in some cases, but more importantly above all others, it's my representation of self, of my personality and thoughts succumbed into a form or being. Scarlett is the opposite, she is the positive.

People find it strange why i would say this, and really my characters are a way of showing parts of me i suppose, though mainly with my sonas and Scarlett. my characters are important, they at least let me vent or show an idea or mood I am in, and that is something important: expression. Scarlett will always be the positive aspect, or rather the glimmer of light people are told to look out for.

anyways....i haven't been feeling well, behind on my own goals, on what i set out to do with commissions and drawings and plans falling through, being at home so long and with little privacy or peace of mind...but that's not what i need is it. i just don't know how to relax, all this wound up and not sure how to let it out. I tell myself to draw more, to draw more even when i don't want to, but the thing with me is how overly conscious i've become, i can't draw until i know I'm alone or no one is looking, and at home it's not there. i have no money, i can't go somewhere with just a shake and a nod, my father needs to know where I am as he does with people otherwise he gets upset, at times i wished i had my own room or corner but not it.

and you know what's funny? is that i'm sure I am just speaking my mind knowing it's all childish in hindsight. idk man, i can only blame myself in the end.