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With a soft sip the Lampshade Weasel finished off his majito and set the empty glass upon his butler’s serving trey and took the envelope.
Running a pointy little claw along the edge he slipped a pair of fingers in and pulled forth the letter. Unfolding the piece of notebook paper he read it in the soft tone that makes his maid blushed “Dear Lampshade Weasel, has there ever been a question you could not answer?”
In an instant his mind was thousands of miles away in another time, the world around him cast in a smoldering red hue. Spirals of ash and embers wisped around him as he looked down into the stream of lava, his eyes sunken and blood shot from the horrific journey to Mount Doom.
Pulling the necklace from around his bloodied neck he looked upon the letter he had carried for so long. While behind him a bearded human warrior shook his head, “You don’t have to destroy Lapashe’!”
“I must! There is too much evil upon this paper! If left to exist it will only threaten the world of man, elf, and weasel!”
“Couldn’t you just turn it into a funny little internet post? Come on, people love those!”
Pain and tears weld up in the weasel’s eyes as he show his head, “…no…”
And with that he let go, the letter fluttering downward towards the flow. As if to let out one last cry of scorn against the weasel it swooped upwards, carried momentarily by a draft of heat before touching down into the lava.
And with a burst of fire and ash the world was saved from the darkness.
Back in the present Lampshade’s eyes shimmered as he held back the resurfacing pain.
“Nope… never had a question I couldn’t answer…”
* * *
Meanwhile back in 2005 a pair of stoned college students sat before a DragonBall Z marathon. Which despite what they were thinking, was not going to prepare them for their upcoming Religious Studies and European History tests.
“…what do you think would happen if Jesus and Hitler did the Fusion Dance?”
“Damn… that’s a fuckin’ sweet question bro! You should totally write that down and ask that weasel with the funny hat!”
“Done and done man!”
Running a pointy little claw along the edge he slipped a pair of fingers in and pulled forth the letter. Unfolding the piece of notebook paper he read it in the soft tone that makes his maid blushed “Dear Lampshade Weasel, has there ever been a question you could not answer?”
In an instant his mind was thousands of miles away in another time, the world around him cast in a smoldering red hue. Spirals of ash and embers wisped around him as he looked down into the stream of lava, his eyes sunken and blood shot from the horrific journey to Mount Doom.
Pulling the necklace from around his bloodied neck he looked upon the letter he had carried for so long. While behind him a bearded human warrior shook his head, “You don’t have to destroy Lapashe’!”
“I must! There is too much evil upon this paper! If left to exist it will only threaten the world of man, elf, and weasel!”
“Couldn’t you just turn it into a funny little internet post? Come on, people love those!”
Pain and tears weld up in the weasel’s eyes as he show his head, “…no…”
And with that he let go, the letter fluttering downward towards the flow. As if to let out one last cry of scorn against the weasel it swooped upwards, carried momentarily by a draft of heat before touching down into the lava.
And with a burst of fire and ash the world was saved from the darkness.
Back in the present Lampshade’s eyes shimmered as he held back the resurfacing pain.
“Nope… never had a question I couldn’t answer…”
* * *
Meanwhile back in 2005 a pair of stoned college students sat before a DragonBall Z marathon. Which despite what they were thinking, was not going to prepare them for their upcoming Religious Studies and European History tests.
“…what do you think would happen if Jesus and Hitler did the Fusion Dance?”
“Damn… that’s a fuckin’ sweet question bro! You should totally write that down and ask that weasel with the funny hat!”
“Done and done man!”
Category All / Miscellaneous
Species Mammal (Other)
Size 310 x 338px
File Size 58.6 kB
...-uses dark, evil magics to create a copy of the letter, sprays it with sexy woman pheromones, puts it in a pink envelope sprays it with perfume, takes a stamp in the shape of a sexy large breasted woman's lips, and signs it from "A busty fan who has a thing for lamp shades and weasels", puts a stamp, addresses it to the weasel, puts a fake return address on it, then sends it to the weasel- I want to know the answer to that letter.
Ah, da wha Huh?... That answered... fork...? I just don't know, this site has stretched my concept of reality past anything i could have ever imagined and yet here you are just beating me over the head from six dimensions away saying GUESS WHAT YOU'RE STILL NO WHERE NEAR THE END.
The answer is nothing. The fusion dance will not work if the two people doing it are too dissimilar. That's why Goku taught it to Trunks and Goten instead of simply fusing with Piccolo. This has been the Answer Dork reminding you to never ask questions when stoned unless you can't answer them when you come down.
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