"Now you rest there like a good patient!" - Di (not me)

Okay, it's not what you think.
I promise you I wasn't spayed or anything!
Thinking about that makes me cri-- err, wince...
Also, those aren't in that area... what do you think I am, a feral? XD
Di wouldn't do that to me anyway. She only does it for medical reasons. That's why I love her (among other things hoho). <3

I... uh... maybe... uh... had a toy shaped like food...
...a HARD toy...
...made of shatterable plastic...
...and I didn't know this until it was too late...
WHO MAKES CAT TOYS THIS SENSITIVE?!
S-sorry for yelling...
A-anyway... I kinda... a-ate it...
...a-and Di had to cut it out...
However, it wasn't until she actually opened me up that she realized it was EVERYWHERE.
So, she had to make a mess of me to make sure every bit of it was out, so there wouldn't be any future problems.
I have this huge, cool scar all across my belly! :D
*smile drops, starts crying*
Ben said something along the lines of "suing those bastards for all they got" and I'm n-not s-sure I want to go through with a lawsuit... I mean, I DID almost die, but... anything legal related makes my stomach churn...
C-can't we settle this out of court? I'll gladly take bribe money. Or some good catnip.
...okay, maybe getting something edible from them isn't a good idea.

Sorry, let me get back to the story.
After I woke up, I noticed I was on Di's couch in her living room and I had this light-headed feeling... and the last time I was in surgery I didn't feel like that... I'm guessing I had to be in there longer than before because of Di double and triple checking.
I also noticed I had blue gauze around my belly and what feels like a three-foot scar under it and... *pats around head* ...i-is... that... a cone?
I mean, it's soft but it's humiliating...
*looks in reflection* ...of course it's also blue.
*sighs* Di, I can handle not chewing on this large... tantalizing... itchy... irritating... scar, okay?
(For some reason, we don't just use our forepaws for this.)
*tries chewing the stitches from the cone*
What?
D-don't judge me! The pain meds wore off! They're so itchy!!!!
*gets whacked with newspaper*

Di: Bad cat! No biting the sutures! Now go back to sleep, you'll heal faster.
Me: ...o-okay Di... *lays head down and tries to back to sleep*
Di: That's better. *walks away*


(I hate my friend for telling me to name this that and because I was a loss as to what to call this myself without making the overused "Cone of Shame" joke.
You guys remember that parody Geico commercial with The Coneheads?
Yeah... that was corny.)

(Sonja's derpy green eye, though. XD)
(And, those little tufts of fur between the wrappings. So cute. <3)