Aaahhhh.. I keep putting this thing off.. But I better finish it now whilst I have the energy.

I'll be directing some people here, so please forgive me for this buncha gobbledygook.

(Disclaimer: the purpose of this is an update of sorts, please don't mistake this as a "pity party" post.)

Be ready for walls of text if you dare read.

Gonna be real level.
I have no fucking idea what I'm doing.
I am so back and forth, everything is so scattered.
Any amount of progress always rocks back enough to feel insignificant.

I'm really fucking lost.
I have no way to describe it.
Well.. No way that I'm 100% sure of.
To give some idea, I've been searching for some answers with a doctor.. And all of it points close to manic depression; bi polar.

Which is both a bit concerning, and also a relief.

But.. It makes sense..

I've been having so many issues with my artwork. I can't begin to recite how many times I've very nearly cried, as I turn on my computer to draw.
I beat myself up so much.
It's not even about perfection anymore.
I don't know what it is.

I would.. Like to thank those who have supported me.. From random comments to buying my art.
I can't communicate just.. What you do to me. I just wish I'd let your support wash over the places it is needed the most..

This year, I'll be clearing away bad habits.
There will be a proper slot style for commission placements.
There will be a secure procedure for ordering.

Because everything is a bit all over the place.
It's not unknown that I am disorganized.

Because I keep misjudging what I can safely handle, when I am in a safe place.
I keep loading myself up to breaking point when I'm in my.. "Not so safe space"

I'm struggling, and the lack of desire to heal, doesn't help it any.

I might add more to this later on when I can think of it.

Lastly I want to say thank you again, and that I am grateful for your valued patience and support.
My biggest fear is that I won't be able to sort myself out in time to deliver what I've promised.