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Wherein Hot rod harnesses the power of potatoes.
For those who are just tuning in, this is a story I wrote when ten years old. As a result, the writing is... bad. Hilariously bad. Let's read!
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
==========
Annotations in red. Annotations pertaining to something not visible in plain text are omitted from this transcription
Hot rod XXI
three days at the vet But only one night at the Bangkok.
Day 1
Life in the hospital was pretty good that day. That morning a nurse came in. it was pretty amusing watching the nurse trying to get me to eat. Here comes the choo-choo… She said “Okay, Hot rod, time to eat. C’mon, before it gets cold.” I weakly said “Cold or warm, hospital food is nasty. If I eat that stuff, my tongue will pack its taste buds and leave.” She said “C’mon. What do I have to do to get you to eat?” my reaction was “I would suggest bringing edible food when I’m hungry.” She said “I give up.” Victory! Except, now Hot rod is going hungry. For the entire day, apparently. Does he have a plan? Why not ask for a phone and use it to ask the others to bring him something, or order a pizza or something?
Day 2
Remember the unicorn? If not you have the worst memory ever. I woke up to the unicorn being right beside me. He said “You’re probably wondering what happened.” I said “I know exactly what happened. You came in.” He said “No, not that. I mean with the necklace.” I said “I know, take it.” He said “No not that, either. My necklace has the power to heal if the person wearing it is strong enough. Okay, points again for explaining the new power. Also, if the wearer does good for the world, they become gradually stronger.” Suddenly, a beam of light came from the horn. The beam was so bright I had to close my eyes. When it was over, I suddenly knew all of the magical powers of the necklace (I ain’t telling you yet, it would ruin the whole book). How convenient. Now we have no way of disproving the author didn’t have X ability planned all along. I also felt more energetic. But when the light stopped, the unicorn wasn’t there.
Day 3
I had no breakfast, no lunch, and no dinner. No shirt, no shoes, no service, no VIbES, no bEVIS, no bEVIS, no VIbES… It was a lousy day. I went into my room and went to the fireplace (I’m still amazed they put those in the rooms). Someone jumped through the window into my room.
Sardor. “It’s time for hospital hell.” He said. “If I can tell you your future can you stop being such an annoyance.” I said. “Deal.” Um, no. Just… Why would Sardor do that? He said. Now it was time to sing “That’s your horoscope for today” Weird Al’s laywers will be… Er, wait, he actually tends to be pretty lenient about stuff. That said, though, I don’t know how well the Acceptable Upload Policies for each site I upload to are going to take me including the lyrics to the full song, so I’ll snip those out and let you look up the lyrics online.
“Aquarius[…]”
He was shocked. He was never smart-mouthed this much in his life. And yet, it’s several verses before he actually does something about it. Remember when Sardor was menacing again? Those were the days, by which I mean one paragraph. Heck, with his lack of dignity and menace in this story, the above horoscope being true would not actually surprise me.
“Pisces[…]”
That was a neutral verse. He has no reaction to being called the true lord of the dance?
“Aries[…]”
“Taurus[…]
Sardor’s anger showed. …He’s not very quick on the draw, isn’t he?
That's your[…]”
“Gemini[…]”
“Grr” said Sardor.
“Cancer[…]”
“That is not my horoscope!” he said. He pulled out his sword and said “I want that necklace.”
“Leo[…]”
He swung at me and missed. He swung again but I blocked him with that big chunk of cement they call a potato. Rather small thing to block with. Where’s his sword, anyway?
“Virgo[…]
That's your[…]”
Sardor’s head is gonna explode. The rest of him did. Ah, clarity… Past me meant metaphorically, but even I briefly thought “Wait, what?” upon rereading it. Heck, even metaphorically, it doesn’t make sense. If he’s angry, wouldn’t his head be the thing “exploding” more than anything else? He swung at me and missed. I threw the TV at him.
“Now you may[…]
Where was I?
Libra[…]”
Can you say “temper tantrum?” I threw the rock-hard potato at him. It’s still intact after blocking the sword? Forget steel, we need to start forging swords from hospital potatoes.
“Scorpio[…]”
Don’t try the stunts I do at home (or anywhere else.)
“Sagittarius[…]”
“Stop it now or I’ll kill ya!” said SarDORK Ugh…
“Capricorn[…]”
That's your[…]
“Enough games, it’s showtime.” I said. I put my hand on Sardor’s chest and he immediately started going through extreme pain. He decided to run. Well, that was quick.
For those who are just tuning in, this is a story I wrote when ten years old. As a result, the writing is... bad. Hilariously bad. Let's read!
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
==========
Annotations in red. Annotations pertaining to something not visible in plain text are omitted from this transcription
Hot rod XXI
three days at the vet But only one night at the Bangkok.
Day 1
Life in the hospital was pretty good that day. That morning a nurse came in. it was pretty amusing watching the nurse trying to get me to eat. Here comes the choo-choo… She said “Okay, Hot rod, time to eat. C’mon, before it gets cold.” I weakly said “Cold or warm, hospital food is nasty. If I eat that stuff, my tongue will pack its taste buds and leave.” She said “C’mon. What do I have to do to get you to eat?” my reaction was “I would suggest bringing edible food when I’m hungry.” She said “I give up.” Victory! Except, now Hot rod is going hungry. For the entire day, apparently. Does he have a plan? Why not ask for a phone and use it to ask the others to bring him something, or order a pizza or something?
Day 2
Remember the unicorn? If not you have the worst memory ever. I woke up to the unicorn being right beside me. He said “You’re probably wondering what happened.” I said “I know exactly what happened. You came in.” He said “No, not that. I mean with the necklace.” I said “I know, take it.” He said “No not that, either. My necklace has the power to heal if the person wearing it is strong enough. Okay, points again for explaining the new power. Also, if the wearer does good for the world, they become gradually stronger.” Suddenly, a beam of light came from the horn. The beam was so bright I had to close my eyes. When it was over, I suddenly knew all of the magical powers of the necklace (I ain’t telling you yet, it would ruin the whole book). How convenient. Now we have no way of disproving the author didn’t have X ability planned all along. I also felt more energetic. But when the light stopped, the unicorn wasn’t there.
Day 3
I had no breakfast, no lunch, and no dinner. No shirt, no shoes, no service, no VIbES, no bEVIS, no bEVIS, no VIbES… It was a lousy day. I went into my room and went to the fireplace (I’m still amazed they put those in the rooms). Someone jumped through the window into my room.
Sardor. “It’s time for hospital hell.” He said. “If I can tell you your future can you stop being such an annoyance.” I said. “Deal.” Um, no. Just… Why would Sardor do that? He said. Now it was time to sing “That’s your horoscope for today” Weird Al’s laywers will be… Er, wait, he actually tends to be pretty lenient about stuff. That said, though, I don’t know how well the Acceptable Upload Policies for each site I upload to are going to take me including the lyrics to the full song, so I’ll snip those out and let you look up the lyrics online.
“Aquarius[…]”
He was shocked. He was never smart-mouthed this much in his life. And yet, it’s several verses before he actually does something about it. Remember when Sardor was menacing again? Those were the days, by which I mean one paragraph. Heck, with his lack of dignity and menace in this story, the above horoscope being true would not actually surprise me.
“Pisces[…]”
That was a neutral verse. He has no reaction to being called the true lord of the dance?
“Aries[…]”
“Taurus[…]
Sardor’s anger showed. …He’s not very quick on the draw, isn’t he?
That's your[…]”
“Gemini[…]”
“Grr” said Sardor.
“Cancer[…]”
“That is not my horoscope!” he said. He pulled out his sword and said “I want that necklace.”
“Leo[…]”
He swung at me and missed. He swung again but I blocked him with that big chunk of cement they call a potato. Rather small thing to block with. Where’s his sword, anyway?
“Virgo[…]
That's your[…]”
Sardor’s head is gonna explode. The rest of him did. Ah, clarity… Past me meant metaphorically, but even I briefly thought “Wait, what?” upon rereading it. Heck, even metaphorically, it doesn’t make sense. If he’s angry, wouldn’t his head be the thing “exploding” more than anything else? He swung at me and missed. I threw the TV at him.
“Now you may[…]
Where was I?
Libra[…]”
Can you say “temper tantrum?” I threw the rock-hard potato at him. It’s still intact after blocking the sword? Forget steel, we need to start forging swords from hospital potatoes.
“Scorpio[…]”
Don’t try the stunts I do at home (or anywhere else.)
“Sagittarius[…]”
“Stop it now or I’ll kill ya!” said SarDORK Ugh…
“Capricorn[…]”
That's your[…]
“Enough games, it’s showtime.” I said. I put my hand on Sardor’s chest and he immediately started going through extreme pain. He decided to run. Well, that was quick.
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 27.3 kB
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