This is a commission from  21parrots where a person finds himself attempting to hide in the food of various male alien Mass Effect squad members. This story was a ton of fun and I was surprised at how quickly it went.

I guess I don't really have a lot to say about this one other than enjoy!

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In a well-attended restaurant placed along the main strip of the Zakera ward, there was a small, human waiter named Nate. He lived a good enough life here on the Citadel. There was a lot of culture to be exposed to, lots of people to meet, and plenty of work. He managed to snag a job at Takeshi’s Ramen House and Sushi Bar, a very reputable establishment that introduced Japanese style food with a twist to increase appeal to aliens. Because of the place’s prime location, it attracted many people looking for an exotic meal. With so many patrons, Nate would have been able to live comfortably on the tips alone. It was busy of course, but always fun.

The most fun part that was what really attracted Nate, however, was when he got to watch the aliens eat. When on break, or maybe a slow day, Nate would watch noodles be slurped up in between an alien’s lips, or a whole sushi roll placed in an odd colored maw, with only a few flexes of the jaw before a hefty swallow, and he would imagine passionately about being that very bite. He always was attracted to the idea of being eaten, but he was very picky about the idea. If he were ever to be eaten, the whole endeavor would have to satisfy all criteria.

First, they couldn’t be aware of him when they ate him. This was pretty important to how he felt about being food. He wanted to be insignificant, and indifferent to the finely prepared morsels around him, as he was lost in the meal. If they knew he was hidden within, they might respond negatively and throw him out, or they might draw attention to the human, smiling at him, talking about how good he was going to taste and such. He rejected that, wanting to be ignored completely. Of course, he was hit on by a few hungry patrons, being invited to join their meal inside their stomachs. He always enjoyed that. It was flattery after all, and it happens when you’re a human working in a dining establishment.

The second criterion was who. He didn’t want to be eaten by some random individual. That’s what stopped him from jumping into some food already. What he wanted was someone unique, strong, and famous. He wanted to become part of someone that meant something to the galaxy. Unfortunately for him, the opportunity never presented itself to him. Maybe it’s for the best, he concluded. He didn’t want to risk his job after all.

That train of thought was interrupted though, when one day, as Nate was sitting on the podium and waiting for more customers, he saw a particularly scarred turian with a blue visor over one eye walk into the room. He wore heavy armor, standing out from the rest of the crowd. Nate instantly recognized this turian.

“Is that… Garrus Vakarian?” He mumbled to himself. A quick search on his omnitool confirmed this theory. Such a famous turian, here? Nate couldn’t believe it, and stood up on the podium, ready to serve him, when he stopped. He couldn’t be Garrus’ waiter if he planned to finally be eaten. Fortunately Sharenna, an asari coworker, quickly jumped on the opportunity, faster than Nate ever could, considering his stature.

Instead, Nate got onto his skyboard, a hovering apparatus to carry him around the restaurant to do his duties. Not as efficiently as an alien, but good enough. Plus, he didn’t run the risk of bumping into anyone while bringing food on similar devices. He continued about his day, but keeping a close eye to what Garrus was doing. Once Sharenna went back to place the meal order, Nate took note of what table Garrus was at: number five. Once that was done, he watched the exact note for Garrus’ order be placed up for the chefs to cook and saw what it was.

“Damn… sushi?” Nate muttered to himself. This was going to be tricky. Of course, he planned for this, but it was quite dependent on a friend of his. He hovered over to the sushi bar and into the back room. There, he saw Garesh, the salarian sushi chef of the restaurant. This is going to be awkward, Nate thought.

…


“Are you serious? Why would I do that?!” Garesh asked, and Nate quickly hushed the salarian down to a whisper.

“Because I’ve really wanted this for a long time, come on dude.” Nate looked over his shoulder, making sure the conversation that they were having was not being overheard.

“I could lose my job you know? You could lose your job too!” The salarian fumed.

“You know you owe me for that time when I… um…” Nate thought about what he was going to say, but couldn’t find a significant event that would gain the salarian’s favor. Garesh crossed his arms and stared the human down. “I don’t know Gar, this just seems like the one chance I have to finally be eaten and be happy about it.”

The salarian thought about this an sighed. He never understood why humans wanted to be eaten so often, but he decided that this would always be beyond his comprehension.

“When we serve your kind up in sushi, we have these special wraps that hides them. He doesn’t have human on his order, but I’m sure since he’s a turian he won’t know sushi well enough to notice something different.” Garesh spoke with a defeated, but accepting tone.

“Wait, you’re really helping me?” Nate asked. The salarian picked him up and nodded.

“Yeah, and I’d say you owe me, if you weren’t about to be eaten.” Garesh pulled some sticky rice from their container and put it on the board. “That is if we don’t get caught.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell them that I snuck in here or something if that happens.” Nate said as he was prepared, covered in the rice and left with only his head sticking out from the ball of rice and fish.

“Good, because if I lose my job for this, I’m gonna eat you so I don’t starve.” Garesh then put the ball into a seaweed shell, covering it all up and completely hiding the fact that a human was inside it.

…


Nate made a small hole in the seaweed just so he could see what is happening outside. Here he was, on a sushi platter being carried over to the table where Garrus was. His roll was aligned in such a manner that he could see the turian on approach, casually sipping at his drink while Nate felt the sway of the waiter carrying him to his digestive fate.

The plate was set on the table with a solid clunk, and the human got a clear view of Garrus’s figure. There he was, the famous turian, just looking over him and his fellow food items, wondering which to try first. He began on the side opposite of Nate. The human silently cursed at this, since it meant that he could not move for even longer as he watched the turian eat. The first was carried up to his maw with curious ease. Garrus must not have had sushi like this before. He sniffed at it, dipped it in soy sauce, then brought it back to his mouth. He opened wide, and the human got a good look inside the blue flesh that was covered in saliva, wanting the food so desperately. The roll vanished behind those lips, and they didn’t open again until after the jaws were done chewing at the morsel inside. Mashed up by the teeth, eventually there would be nothing but a ball of chewed food inside, before Garrus would nod in approval. Apparently he liked it!

This went on for a while, and Nate counted how many rolls would vanish between the turian’s lips, never to be seen again, just as he would. He was tempted to squirm, but remained still, remembering not to alert Garrus to his presence. However, the pace of his eating slowed, and with each roll, the time it took to consume another would drag.

Nate looked down to the rim of the table, seeing the turian’s abdomen and cocking his head at it. Was it filling up? How much did Garrus order after all. Nate then remembered the amount and realized he’s already eaten thirty bits of sushi. He then realized that Garrus was getting full, and might not have any room for the human treat. He silently cursed his luck as he heard his asari coworker’s voice ask him if he enjoyed the meal so far.

“Oh yeah it’s fantastic. I probably ordered a bit too much though.” Garrus stated, and patted his belly. Nate’s heart fell a little as he heard that. He wanted to be crammed inside that stomach, with all the food he just watched go down inside the turian. He imagined how tight it would feel around him as the gut churned and squelched him around inside, insignificant to the meal as he wanted to be.

But, eventually, he heard the asari arrive with the check. Such a cheery voice sounded grating to his ears, considering he wasn’t expecting to hear it again, unless it was muffled by the turian’s abdominal muscle. The exchange was pleasant enough between Garrus and the asari, but the human felt the ground from under him fly upwards. It was confirmed then, he would not be eaten by Garrus. Nate could feel nothing but disappointment as he watched the turian get up and leave the table, never to become part of that amazing alien body.

Suddenly, a thrashing motion sent his sushi roll tumbling down into the trashcan. Nate grunted in discomfort as it fell in, punching at the sushi to help himself get out. Once he tore it open, he looked up to see a three fingered hand reach in and pull him out. He felt fear of being caught by someone until he discovered that the hand belonged to Garesh. He sighed happily as the salarian gave him a bit of a scowl as he carried him over to the restroom.

…


“Well, you didn’t get caught so I guess I don’t have to eat you.” Garesh stated as he handed the human under the
water faucet a towel to dry. Nate certainly felt refreshed, now that he was washed off properly, yet still dejected by the circumstances. “You’re lucky I was watching you as it happened. Otherwise, you might have been ejected into space with the rest of the trash and I would have thought you got eaten by a turian.”

“Thanks anyways for helping out Gar.” Nate groaned as he dried himself off. Once he was completely clean, he sighed and looked up. “I guess I just wasn’t supposed to get eaten today…”

“Well… I don’t know actually.” Garesh said, and looked out the door, looking at a unique krogan, sitting impatiently.
“You know that one krogan in the Urdnot vids that have been circulating around the extranet?”

Nate raised his head at this and tried to look through the door. Garesh picked him up and held the human up to see out. There he was, Urdnot Grunt, one of the most elite commanders of the Krogan forces. Arlahk company, if he remembered right. He wasn’t as good as Garrus, but the human settled with the idea of going for a second attempt.
“Yeah! That is Grunt!” Nate stated, and he looked up at Garesh, with pleading, puppy dog eyes, in an attempt to make the human appear cuter.

“I am not helping you get eaten again! I almost got caught last time!” Garesh gripped onto Nate, who grunted a bit at the pressure.

“Just tell me what his order was and get me to the kitchen at least?” Nate pleaded, this time vocally, despite being in no position to negotiate. “Besides, if I get eaten, I’m out of your hair-er- horns for good!”
The salarian thought about it for a moment then sighed again. He pushed the bathroom door open and the pair exited to the kitchen. “Fine, but you better not rat me out if you’re caught.”

…

They looked through the meal tickets, holographic displays in front of each prepared dish. There was fried rice, ramen, noodles, but only one could be destined for Grunt. Garesh peaked his head over the counter, seeing which table the massive krogan was at.

“Hmm, he’s at table number ten.” He stated. The salarian looked around some more before spotting something else.

“Hey, there’s also a drell out there too, at table three! Wanna see if you can get inside him instead? That way, you won’t get brutalized by three stomachs before you’re churned up.”

“Wait really? A drell?” Nate cocked his head and the salarian lifted him up to see. There he was, green, scaled, lizard-like. It was such an odd sight really. Nate had never seen a drell up close before, but always admired how they looked. The tall, chiseled bodies of the males screamed masculinity while their coloring was appealing to look at. Nate had no idea if this particular drell was famous or not, but considering the rarity of drell, they would make good, alternative predators, famous or otherwise. But, with Grunt in his sights, he could see no reason to alter course now. “Nah, we settled on Grunt earlier so we might as well go with him.”

Nate walked along the counter, checking the various tickets for their numbers. Eventually, down the line, he arrived at a bowl of noodles. Nate looked it over and sighed.

“Well I guess this is it Garesh. It’s been good to have a friend like you hel-”

“Shut up and get in the bowl meat, someone’s coming.” Garesh picked up Nate and dropped him into the pile of squiggly noodles. Just after he did that, Garesh casually strolled out of the kitchen back towards the sushi bar, hoping to not attract attention to himself. Nate meanwhile squirmed only briefly as he settled in the noodles. His eyes stung as he realized there were peppers in this mixture and he had to close his eyes while inside. He chose not to move again, not wanting to reveal himself. I’m getting good at this, Nate thought.

He sat there for a few more moments until he felt the familiar sensation of being lifted up into the air again, and carried towards the out of sight table. He felt the bowl thud onto the metal surface, and could hear a deep, krogan voice giving small chuckles, likely excited to have his meal. Nate considered himself lucky, since the krogan had a large portion, which made it easier to hide.

However, Nate’s perceived luck was short lived. He watched some kind of utensil lower into the noodles and pull out some of the meal. A combination of noodles, some vegetables, and a pepper was raised to that massive krogan mouth. There were some chewing noises before Grunt began to shout out a little in distress. His large krogan form ensured that those shouts were heard as well.

A waitress came over quickly and asked what was wrong. The panting krogan instead snatched the pitcher that she was carrying and dumped it into his maw, swallowing down all the water that it had and cooling the heat that he felt.

“Why didn’t you tell me that was spicy?!” Grunt asked, angry and discomforted by the food. Nate heard this and raised his brow. This dish wasn’t spicy at all! For a krogan, he was a serious lightweight when it came to spicy foods.
“Um, I’m sorry sir, the dish is called the Spicy Kimchi noodles. I, um, didn’t think it was necessary.” The waitress stated, obviously a little fearful at being stared down by an intimidating krogan. A rough voice came and spoke to the krogan, telling him to calm down “for old time’s sake.” In response, Grunt huffed and simply left the restaurant without paying.

Nate sat there, dumbfounded at what just happened, but his confusion was interrupted as he heard the waitress sigh and then pick up the bowl he was in. He did not want to go into the trash a second time today, and instead, elected to scramble out of the bowl. He was careful to leave when the waitress wasn’t looking. But now he had to escape somewhere else or be discovered. His eyes then panned to see an approaching waiter carrying a bowl of noodle soup. The ticket on it stated that it was going to table three.

The drell! Nate thought to himself. He still had a chance with the drell. He just had to time this jump right. It seemed like the waiter was distracted with another customer, and wasn’t looking near Nate at that moment. This was his only shot. Nate jumped off the tray and splashed into the soup, making a small “plunk” to the titanic alien who was serving him. The waiter looked down at the translucent liquid, and in seeing nothing, concluded it was his movement that made the small splash.

Nate stayed submerged in the soup, away from any prying eyes that would ruin his plan to be eaten for a third time today. He looked up and around the surface, finding a small leaf of lettuce to hide under, yet keeping his head about water, or broth as it would be in this situation. He could see the drell up close now. His body was fit, and his demeanor was very calm. Nate almost felt at peace looking at him.

“Thank you so much for deescalating that situation, Mr…?”The waitress from a minute ago approached the drell, expressing her gratitude. Nate could hear the whole interaction from under the lettuce.

“Krios, and don’t worry, it’s no trouble. Grunt wouldn’t hurt a fly… I think.” He said. The two exchanged some more pleasantries before she thanked him again and told him that she hopes he enjoys his meal. Nate then saw the hand descend down towards his leaf and he dove below the surface, only to come back up under another one. He looked at the drell, from underneath, watching him insert it into his mouth and chew it up with a thick series of crunches. Nate couldn’t take his eyes away from the sight of the drell chewing and then swallowing. He imagined himself inside that bulge, sliding all the way down into the stomach where eventually that entire bowl of soup would reside in as well, along with some acids to break everything down.

That was when the fork came; descending into the soup to pull some noodles out with it and scoops them all into his waiting maw. The slurping motion of the noodles into Thane’s mouth was just as enthralling, and enticing. After a few chews, Thane swallowed and the fork came down for more.

Nate was sure to dive below the surface this time to catch a ride as soon as possible. He grabbed onto some noodles and pulled them with him as he gripped a prong of the fork. After a few twirling motions, he was completely covered in the noodles and was being brought to Thane’s waiting maw.

Despite being under a layer of noodles, Nate could detect the change in air from the cool air outside, to the hot, humid, and thick smelling air inside Thane. This was it! He was finally inside a mouth. He could feel the teeth break apart the noodles around him and Nate carefully avoided being chewed himself. Once the food around him was a nice slop, Nate felt a pause in the mouth. Here comes the swallow, Nate thought excitedly.

Then, suddenly a blast of air rushed forward and the tongue seized, pushing Nate out of Thane’s now open mouth and sending him tumbling into the soup below. Thane broke out into a fit of coughing, not being able to stop. He shook his head and left a credit chit on the table, not wanting to leave without paying. On his way out, he apologized to a waiter and told them he had a condition that was acting up and he had to go see the doctor immediately. Nate was left dumbfounded in the soup as to what just happened. A familiar salarian came forward, offering to clean up the mess for the waiter, and scooped up the bowl with Nate inside.

…


“Is there something wrong with me? Do I just taste bad to aliens?” Nate asked Garesh, now clean again.

“No, you taste fantastic actually.”

“How do you know?”

“I licked you in your sleep one time, when you were staying at my place.”

“Wait really?”

“Nah.” Garesh lied. He carried Nate out from the bathroom and they stopped in their tracks by whom was waiting outside of it.

“Excuse me.” The prothean stated, and stepped past the pair and into the bathroom, muttering the word “primitives” as he did so. Garesh and Nate’s jaws were hanging as they could not believe what they saw.

“Was that….Javik the prothean?” Garesh whispered to the human in his hand.

“Yes… it was…” The two turned to stare at each other with a mischievous grin. “Mind helping me one more time Gar?”
“You know what? This time I actually don’t.”

…

Nate internally cheered as Javik ordered ramen. That proved to be the most effective hiding implement last time. Hopefully It would work now. After a kind farewell, Garesh slipped the human into the bowl and went back to work, keeping an eye on the food that was to be served to the prothean.

Nate felt the sway of the waitress as she carried him to his doom, praying for this to work, finally. Javik seemed like the perfect predator. He was famous for being the last prothean, he was an incredibly unique species, and he was currently blissfully unaware of what was happening. The food was set with a familiar thud and Nate mentally prepared himself.

“Asari, it seems you have forgotten my drink.” Javik proclaimed. The waitress looked and noticed her mistake.

“Oh I’m so sorry sir, thank you for catching my mistake, I’ll be sure to get it now.”

“Ha, nothing, not even mistakes, can slip past a prothean!” Javik boasted, completely unaware of the human that slipped past him and into his meal. The asari cocked a brow, wondering why this alien was such a braggart as she went to go get the drink.

Nate could hear a curious hum from the prothean above, and watched the fork go into the soup. He had to get in on that first bite. He didn’t want to miss out because of some freak accident again. Repeating the same method of getting onto the fork as he did with Thane just a bit earlier, Nate managed to be curled up in the mess of ramen, now coated in the broth yet again and feeling incredibly greasy.

He looked between the noodles to see his predator’s face once more before he was eaten. He was treated to the sight of a prothean with his eyes closed, and his mouth open wide. Inside there was a normal set of teeth with particularly sharp canines. The flesh inside was green-blue and resembled mint-chocolate-chip ice cream. It was even patterned similarly to that.

Nate watched as those jaws came over him, enveloping the human in the unique smell of a prothean’s breath. Nate was pressed inside the maw as it closed around him and he felt the teeth press on his back as the fork was removed. He was in a daze from what was finally happening. He was being eaten. He didn’t even notice the noodles being chewed around him because he was too busy letting this reality sink in. Now, with his fate as food sealed, the prothean tipped his head up and swallowed gently, pressing the human down into his gullet with a smooth gulp.
Being pressed on all sides, Nate sighed as he pulsed down into Javik. After so many attempts, it finally happened. He was swallowed down, and now nothing can change. Javik will continue his life unaware that his body turned a small human into absorbable nutrients with such ease. That feeling was hammered home when Nate fell down into the stomach. It was a chamber that shared its size roughly with a medium sized hot tub. Considering the bubbling around him, it practically was a hot tub. Being surrounded by the green insides soothed Nate as it churned; a constant reminder that he was now food for the prothean, and an insignificant bite at that. He thought about everything out there that he’d never see again, and was happy to trade it all for the slimy insides he was slowly digesting in.

…

On the outside, Javik continued his meal at the same pace, ignorant of Nate inside of his body, and not caring regardless. He did notice that the first bite of this dish was particularly better than the rest. It reminded him of long ago, during his cycle, when his kind ate humans very frequently. Javik still does on occasion, but has cut down significantly.

The whole bowl tasted of human though, and Javik loved every moment of it. He devoured the ramen, sending it gushing over Nate down inside. Eventually, Javik finished and brought the bowl to his lips, gulping down every last drop in the bowl and filling his stomach. He sat back and let out a hearty belch, patting his abdomen as he did so and sighing in approval.

Meanwhile, Garesh watched from afar. Javik did not react, so he didn’t catch the human, and he never saw the little guy leave the bowl. Now that it was all gone and inside Javik, Garesh smiled at the fact that he successfully helped his friend become prothean chow. He was now gone for good; to be churned up and liquefied in the stomach. Garesh looked at the prothean, Nate’s prison, as he left and carried the meal tucked away in his stomach with him.

…

Nate sloshed about with each step, having little purchase inside the stomach as it was mostly liquidy. The gut itself was steamy with heat, and the air was stale, carrying only the scents of digestion as it progressed around the eaten human. Gastric sounds were ever present around him, gurgling and bubbling loudly and powerfully. Nate could tell that the stomach walls were capable of mashing everything inside the stomach after a while of gurgling inside the prothean, yet the organ around him only gave gentle churns, likely softening his body up for later. He wondered exactly just how long he had.

Nate was getting tired; treading broth for so long inside Javik worked at his delicious muscles. But, as slime from the stomach pumped in, it got thicker and thicker, holding the human up in the slop easily. However, he could feel it working on him the whole time. His body weakened under the digestive assault over the next few hours, and eventually, he couldn’t feel much else. He watched as parts of him melted in the goo, joining in the thick pool around him as his body was washed over and over again by splashing fluids. Eventually, Nate closed his eyes, resigning to his fate while the prothean casually went about his day with little knowledge of what is transpiring in his greenish stomach. His body became a chunky goo inside, caking the walls of the stomach and turning into pure nutrients.