Wherein SUDDENLY CASTLE!

For those who are just tuning in, this is a story I wrote when ten years old. As a result, the writing is... bad. Hilariously bad. Let's read!

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Annotations in red. Annotations pertaining to something not visible in plain text are omitted from this transcription

Hot rod XII
The plan


the meeting why all lowercase?

I called a town meeting (yes, I’m that famous) and nobody missed it. oy… I said to them that I had a plan. The plan was for them to get on their roofs with guns, heavy objects to throw, sharp things, and hand grenades. uh... not many people have those. also, those things tend to cause a lot of collateral damage. not exactly ideal for an urban environment. There was going to be nothing held back. Protection of each other was very important. I was planning on shooting the vampires. They would be destroyed by sunrise.


the showdown

It was nearly night and everyone was more prepared than I thought. Not only had they done what I said. There were aircrafts, tanks and cars on the job. and yet, before hot rod came along, nobody could kill the vampires. I was prepared for the showdown, too. There were more vampires than ever that night. We started the war immediately. The vampires were ran over, shot, blasted, flattened, torched, tortured ooh, edgy., and got sharp sticks through their hearts. this should theoretically be the only weapon actually useful against them at night, but i guess we’re just ignoring that now.

Only one vampire remained. That vampire cast a spell and revived Sardor. …it’s really that easy? We killed the vampire and went on to Sardor. Most people were out of ammo, gas, rocks, and matches. I went on and tried anyway. The wizard went through a portal. I was the only one who went through. I wasn’t going to let him get away. It dumped us out at the vampire castle. you remember that one, right? it was introduced in… uh… you remember that one, right? Nobody was home. “You jerk!” said Sardor. I said “And proud of it!” He wasn’t very happy with me. fancy that. I immediately slashed him. He went through another portal with me following him. It dumped us out at Adther. Nobody could’ve predicted what happened next. He screamed long and loud. He melted away. hey, don’t look at me! even i have no idea what was running through my head when i wrote that. I said “He’s relative “relative with”? with the wicked witch of the west. I didn’t even have to pour water on him.”


The magic cards Oy. Here we go…

First off, back to proper capitalization.

More importantly, though, this title is not referring to tarot cards. It is referring to the Magic: the Gathering trading card game. No particular reason; I just felt like writing about Magic. However, it takes a lot of talent to successfully pull off a card-game-based show or story; talent that I did not have.

Also, this plot point makes very little sense to those not well-versed in the M:tG trading card game. It also makes little sense to those who are well-versed in M:tG lore, in that it does not make sense that I wasted the wondrous opportunities as the lore of the M:tG setting provides. Then again, given how the writing is in this tale, perhaps that’s for the best.

Guess what happened when I went inside. I found a black deck of Magic the Gathering cards. I didn’t know they had those. I immediately went to the mall. There was a shop full of them. There were people teaching people how to play. There was a competition planned for Thursday. I bought black cards of all sorts. Unlike the real world they had 7 series on their 1st day on the stores. How narratively convenient. I got Mirage, Ice age, and every other kind. I was going to have some much needed fun. I battled a bunch of beginners and most of them said I was great for a beginner. What they didn’t realize was that I wasn’t a beginner. It drove me crazy. I bumped into someone unpleasant. Sardor. Prepare for trouble. make it double…