thewielder inspired me with this story due to the following pic found over at http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1908552/

Blame him. Please.

* * *

"That's right, son. I invented a ripcord gun," the ermine said as he sipped on his coffee. "Ya pull the cord, and it'll start firin' bullets faster'n a gatlin' gun!"

Damon stared at the grizzled old ermine with a mix of fascination and disbelief. "No offense, sir, but what possible good is it to have a ripcord on a gun?"

"Hell, son, who cares? It's an heirloom to my kids, then my grandkids. I even patented the thing before my neighbor James could!"

"Your neighbor was working on the same kind of gun?" Damon started to wonder if the ermine's last name was Hatfield, and his neighbor's was McCoy.

"He was talkin' about it, I know he was." The ermine nodded sternly, sipping the coffee again. "Always tryin' to outdo me, yup. Jealous of the fact I made the first styrofoam bullet."

"Styrofoam...bullet." Of all the days to have no customers. He couldn't excuse himself due to the current rules. If the ermine complained of rudeness, Damon's sterling record of compliance would be tarnished.

"Made it for when the commies finally invade us. 'Course, it ain't lethal. Hell, those soliders are just followin' orders, same as our boys."

"Do the bullets actually fire?"

"Yup. 'Course, they sometimes tend to stick in the barrel."

Damon forced a grin on his face, nodding. Guns weren't his favorite things, not after what happened to his cousin on a hunting trip one year. He still walked with a limp, but the doctor was able to reattach his toe. "You're a fascinating inventor, sir."

"Damn right I am, son. Maybe one day I'll bring you a picture of my styrofoam bullet. After I get it patented, o'course."

"Of course. You wouldn't want James to you to it."

"Damn right! You're a bright kid. Maybe you'll make the first jelly bullet. Unless I get to it first." His eyes grew cold like ice. "Don't be stealin' my ideas, boy."

Damon somehow kept his grin steady. "I'm as imaginative as a paper airplane made of lead."

The ermine narrowed his eyes, nodded grimly, then left the store. Damon counted to ten, then leaned back against the counter and burst out laughing.

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