Decorated the Christmas tree alone today, played some Christmas music...
Needless to say it didn't work out the way I planned.

I talked to my dogs and sang with the music, but wound up talking about issues my family are having and I just.. started crying alone in my living room. I continued talking aloud about the issues, the tears only getting worse..

Sometimes its hard to believe this is supposed to be the happiest time of the year...

I'll get better, I know. I just.. couldn't help but scribble out something to make myself feel better. I'm sorry for the lazy everything, but my mind's just not in it..


**Note: The title is not referring to my family or any specific person, it's referring to the spirit, joy and feeling of the holiday. I wasn't lonely, I was empty. I didn't feel the joy I should have because I knew my family really wasn't "together" for Christmas like when I was growing up.