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Hi everybody. So I am going through a little bit of a rough time right now. Thought I'd create a quick poem to express my feelings. Thanks for reading and leave a comment!! :)
Category Poetry / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 12.9 kB
I'm late to leave a comment, but better than never right?
Being isolated can really be the worst thing you can be in. It slowly leads you towards depression. Honestly, it looks like you handled the situation perfectly. In cases like these, the best thing to do is find someone you trust and be with. Someone who supports you. Or it can merely be friends who you enjoy being with even though you hide your feelings. It personally helped me a lot. Then I found someone really special, but that's another story.
As for the poem itself, it is well made. The "rhythm" (or whatever the correct poetic word is...) is a bit unbalanced and the repetition at the end made me flinch a little. Repetition works in some cases, but I don't really see it here. Might I suggest "then I found that salvation" or, how I would prefer it personally, without the "then" because it would work well with the rhythm of the stanza. I quite enjoyed reading it and I hope you make more along the way. ^^
(I hope you don't mind if I gave a little critique... I am no expert, so take my words with a grain of salt, but it is as i view it. I just like helping people become better. God know how much we both have to learn. Actually, how much almost everyone here has to learn... I'm talking too much again aren't I...)
Being isolated can really be the worst thing you can be in. It slowly leads you towards depression. Honestly, it looks like you handled the situation perfectly. In cases like these, the best thing to do is find someone you trust and be with. Someone who supports you. Or it can merely be friends who you enjoy being with even though you hide your feelings. It personally helped me a lot. Then I found someone really special, but that's another story.
As for the poem itself, it is well made. The "rhythm" (or whatever the correct poetic word is...) is a bit unbalanced and the repetition at the end made me flinch a little. Repetition works in some cases, but I don't really see it here. Might I suggest "then I found that salvation" or, how I would prefer it personally, without the "then" because it would work well with the rhythm of the stanza. I quite enjoyed reading it and I hope you make more along the way. ^^
(I hope you don't mind if I gave a little critique... I am no expert, so take my words with a grain of salt, but it is as i view it. I just like helping people become better. God know how much we both have to learn. Actually, how much almost everyone here has to learn... I'm talking too much again aren't I...)
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