I've known this song for probably a year or two, but tonight the lyrics just really hit me hard. I'm not terribly upset or anything, just sort of venting a strong feeling I've always had. So don't worry about me, I'm okay! Simply typing this out just to get it out. ♥

When I have a relationship with a person-- any form of relationship, whether it be familial, romantic, or a friendship-- what I try to do is to put forward everything I have to make the relationship work. I give out my entire heart to the people I love, and I try to do anything I can to be there for them whenever possible. And 90% of the time, it turns out that the other person wouldn't even lift a finger for me in return. Yet still I cling to these people, I hold them as close to me as I dare, I try to help them be the best they can be, I try to help them out of bad situations and keep them safe, even from themselves.

At some point I suppose I came to the realization that I can't change these people or stop them from doing anything. My opinions and my words aren't worth a penny to them. In middle school when all my friends began to tear themselves apart, one by one, it didn't matter what I said. I was the bad guy for trying to do what I thought would be best for them, and they left, and they destroyed themselves, and they all broke my heart. No amount of love or strength could keep me holding on to them if they didn't want to stay. I don't know why I still try.

I can't stop anyone from leaving.

I just hope that someday, I'll grab hold of someone, and they'll hold me just as tightly back.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cksZLD0y5WU
Stay
You'll leave me in the morning anyway
My heart
You'll cut it out you never liked me anyway
Why do you take me down this road
If you don't wanna walk with me?
Why do you exit, go it alone
When you could just talk to me?

Now I'm all messed up
Sick inside, wondering where
Where you're leaving your makeup
Now I'm all messed up
Sick inside wondering who
Whose life you're making worthwhile

Go, go, go if you want
I can't stop you
Go if you want
I can't stop you

Stay
You come back to me always anyway
Leave a mark
You said you never really loved her anyway
Why do I take this lonely road
Nobody here to walk with me
Don't want start fresh all over again
Why won't you just comfort me?

Now I'm all messed up
Sick inside, wondering where
Where you're leaving your makeup
Now I'm all messed up
Sick inside wondering who
Whose life you're making worthwhile

Go, go, go if you want
I can't stop you
Go if you want
I can't stop you

Go, go, go if you want
I can't stop you
Go if you want
I can't stop you

Now I'm all messed up
I'm sick inside, wondering where
Where you're leaving your makeup
Now I'm all messed up
Sick inside wondering who
Whose life you're making worthwhile

Go, go, go if you want
I can't stop you
Go if you want
I can't stop you

Go (please stay)
Go (please stay)
Go if you want
I can't stop you
Go if you want
I can't stop you

Go (please stay)
Go (please stay)
Go if you want
I can't stop you
Go if you want
I can't stop you

Go (please stay)
Go (please stay)
Go if you want
I can't stop you
Just go if you want
I can't stop you

Now I'm All Messed Up - Tegan and Sara