Mind you I'm not one to have anxiety attacks or panic attacks unless something finally gets to me. These past couple of days it has gotten to me that I'm greatful to my friends who have stuck by me these last couple days to remind me about how much they love me. Along with these anxiety attacks I also haven't been eating much either which seems to be effecting me pretty bad also. Tonight though it like destroyed me and I'm not even sure how. Working on a commission I started to panic and shake and my chest got all heavy I couldn't do anything. I ate my first meal of the day and felt a bit better but then a little bit after it got worse and I just wanted to break down and cry during stream x-x I had no idea where to turn too and who to turn too. Like every sort of attack started to happen on me at like once and just holy shit. It was just so bad you guys and I'm afraid its going to be an on going thing until this ordeal is taken care of for good. It seems to really act up though seeing certain people's names and I wish it wouldn't, was doing fine the other day also I'm not sure what happened. But got myself calmed down when I played with my hamham (hamster) and it seemed to go away. Typing this it still lingering there and just knocking on wood that I can get this under control and life will be how it was. The ball isn't in my court anymore and the only thing I can really do is wait to see what happens.

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